Some advice please.

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Hi, I am new to this forum and have a 3 year old with Autism(PDD-NOS), he has just started using words but he still just grabs my hand and pulls me to an area and that is how I fugure out what he needs. He is very loving and happy. He has 5 other siblings ages 1,2,4,5 and 10 and he goes to preschool which he loves. I was wondering, since alot of you are older how can I be a better Mom to him? Thanks for any advice.

Welcome to WP!

It sounds like he may need some therapy. I am no expert on exactly 'what kind" or "where to get it" however you really need to get proactive and do some digging around now. Generally the earlier the interavention the better.

At least he is communicating! I have a 4 year old daughter, she is NT, not ASD, however she was a late talker, scared everyone real good. Now at 4, other then a slight speech impediment you can't tell!

Contact the doctor who DX'ed your son, or even just your regular doctor, and ask what services are available to your son. Look for any sort of best start or early year program, contact the school board, in some areas they provide early intravention programs. Also contact the local audiology programs and see where they would refer you.

Definately though, get on this NOW! Best of luck!

Thank you EarthCalling for your reply. My son has been diagnosed since about 19 months so I have been very lucky that he has been getting services all this time at preschool he has his own Aide and is doing really well. I just wanted to know if there is anything I can do to be a better parent to him I guess I just want to be sure I am doing all I can as a Mom. Thanks again.

When is the last time he was seen by a speech therapist?

I am not overly familiar with them, but what about ABA or IBI therapy? Would that help?

Also, (I fear I am becoming known as the software pusher) but there are a few programs that you may want to at least "keep on your radar"

One is Kidspiration, it is great for helping children visually learn with lots of pictures and diagrams, it is designed for kids 4-10.
www.inspiration.com There is a free 30 day trial, and the price is reasonable, for a parent.

The other program that may interest you is a program called "clicker 5". It is a program that helps children from Kindergarden to Gr. 6 or so write sentences again, using pictures. I was reading over the instruction manual, and it said that it can even be used as a "picture board" for children with communication difficulties.

http://www.cricksoft.com/us/products/clicker/ This one is a little more expensive, I think $200.00USD. But you might be able to get the school to pay for it! He certainly would get lots of use out of it!

Would you discribe your son as having selective mutism? I think there are other services and support for that too...

Help him learn about things other than his obsessions, but don't stifle his obsessions. Let him pursue them. Encourage them. The obsessions are one of the few things about Asperger's that can be good! We can make careers out of them, and they make us feel like we understand the world in at least one small way.

Earthcalling, Thank you for the software info. I saved it and I am going to look into it.

Esperanza, Thank you for you info on the obsessions, my son loves music so I will try and focus on that with him.

Thanks again for taking the time to post.

hmm, hi again Prince
just was reading something about "the effort effect", and they said something like:

"if he loves to paint, and he misbehaves, don't take away his paints, brushes and all that, allow him to get better at it, instead cut-off tv, videogames (or something like that)"

Thanks again Computerlove!!

Love and acceptance is the most important. I want you to know that speech before 3 is a very positive sign even though he is using mom's hand as a tool. My son did this too and by the time he was 5, his DX was changed from PDD-NOS to AS and his verbal IQ was assessed at 142. We also got him into an intensive program when he was 3 and he was mainstreamed into kindergarten when he was 5. He's now 19 and attends college classes while working at our business.

Although we loved and accepted him, he still has a negative self-image because of his differences. That is how we present it to him - as differences, not defects. Without the love and acceptance, I think he would feel as hopeless and suicidal as some of kids I read about here.

I hope this helps!

Yes, it does help, since I wonder about so many things about his future. It is really great to hear your son is in college and working. What kind of intensive program did you put your son in? Thank you again.

It was called SBCD in our school system which stands for Severe Behavior and Communications Disorders. This program was based on North Carolina's TEACCH:

http://www.autism-resources.com/papers/TEACCHN.htm

and uses principles of cognitive behavioral therapy instead of ABA. I don't think ABA addresses any core issues, but instead, concentrates only on behaviors instead of trying to have the child change his own behavior because of understanding.

We never tried to extinguish many of his stim and obsessive behaviors at home and he basically outgrew a lot of them. I think something like ABA would have made him very resentful.