Hell. (What a Night!)

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Yesterday afternoon, I got a call that all mothers dread.

My 12 year old went off to a park to play, (I thought he was looking for one of his 2 friends) because it was the most gorgeous day we have had yet! It was like summer, after weeks of horrible weather.

Anyway, he went to his old "bush fort" ALONE which I have told him repeatedly to stay away from (hobo's have been known to be found "sleeping" in it.)

It has a "rope swing" set up by other children long ago. My son says it was from an old "rope ladder" as there used to be a "tree house" long ago, at least that is what it looks like. So, he starts swinging, and something goes wrong, terribly wrong, and he falls. He is hurting, and runs to the nearby parkette to get help. He walks up to a woman, collapses on the ground now in excruciating pain, and tells her "I broke my arm". She thinks he is kidding around, but when he starts "howling" in pain, and she "sees" his arm, she snaps into action. She gets his phone number out of him, calls, and I answer, to hear a strange woman say "here is your son". He is screaming and just about incoherent. He tells me he broke his arm, and I have to come. He CANNOT MOVE! My two little ones are having a nap, and I have no stroller. I try to convince him to walk home (I did that when I broke both my arms at his age) but obviously, he is reacting a lot different to it, and is in very bad pain. So I tell him I am coming, the stranger agrees to "stay with him until I get here". Then she calls 911.

I get the kids, call my husband, he is just getting home, entering the neighbourhood so I tell him to meet us at the park. I get them to the park, (I see my DH pull up first) and find my son in a little heap, screaming hysterically. He is like a little wild animal. Unable to move, but ready to lash out at everything around him.

My husband takes over the call with 911, they are sending an ambulance. I do my best to calm him down, I sit on the ground with him, and keep repeating very firmly "you are going to be alright". It starts to calm him down, (a little) he starts covering himself in rocks with his one good hand. My husband chews him out for doing that and "getting dirty". I tell him to quit it, "not the time"... "But what about infection, he needs to be clean". I point out that he already is anything but clean, I don't care if he "buries himself in rocks" if it helps sooth him, do it.

Ambulance comes, they "manage" somehow to splint the arm. They get him loaded, and we go off to the hospital.

We get a room immediately. He is calmer... I see he is in a lot of pain. They ask me if he has any other conditions. I let them know "aspergers and ADHD". "what’s Aspergers?" Geez, this is a children’s hospital affiliated with one of the most renowned ASD clinics in Canada! How can they not know? I say "mild autism" and get a strange look. I say he has problems with communicating information. I get an even stranger look. My son is "obviously very verbal". I go through this dance with 3 different times with doctors and nurses.

He is asked how bad his pain is. I know he is in a lot of pain, but he says 'its fine". I try to say something but get cut off, they don't want to hear from nosey mom! they ask him to "rate his pain from 0-10. He says 4. I try to explain "I don't believe that, he does not understand sliding scales". They give me a weird look. They ask him, does it hurt a bit, does it hurt a lot? "a bit". Do you want something for the pain? "No". They tell him, "if you do let us know". They leave, he collapses in pain crying. I tell him, "you need to let them know, you told them it was not that bad". He can't seem to understand that he has to say "its bad".

Shortly two doctors come in to look at his arm. They talk to him about the fall / what he did. He communicates that very well. They mention something in "doctor speak" between each other about needing to find out if it is Open or not. My son FLIPS OUT! "what do you mean if it is Open? Did the bone come out?" They are stunned! And ask if he has broke a bone before. He says "no". Then how do you know what we are talking about?" And he says "I heard you say "open... OH GOD NOOO! (starts to loose it). We "talk him down". They say he is a very smart kid (throws my communication disorder out the window right?) And they start talking to him about what they are going to do in graphic detail, thinking he needs to know. (Not a smart thing to do, it freaks him out more). they manage somehow to examine the arm, and the "wound" on the wrist. They decide the bone "did not" come through and tell me we well get something for the pain.

He has been complaining about thirst since I met him at the park. I ask if he can get some ice chips. I am told "no, it is against policy, and they launch into how back in the 30's, with ether, people would aspirate into their lungs if they had something in the stomach. I ask if he can have some gum. They say no, same reasons, something about stomach juices. I say "not even just a couple? He is really distraught about this, he has not had anything to drink in hours". Nope, even though they don't really agree with it, he can't have anything, but I can get something to wet his lips.

No nurse comes. No drugs. I try to flag someone down, I can't. They are just too damn busy, and there are very sick people all around. (a boy in another room nearly died from kidney failure, other traumas all around). 2 hours go by and we hear nothing. My son at this point, has been in escalating pain, bit by bit. Finally, I manage to get a nurse, she says she needs to "order it". (the good docs did not even put anything in his chart). He ends up "screaming and crying in pain". Finally the drugs come. I think it was demoral, they need to put in an IV. He FREAKS OUT! He nearly won't let her put it in, but she gets through to him by very sternly saying "if I miss, I am going to have to do this again, you DON"T WANT THAT!". He collapses sobbing, and she gets it in while he screams blue murder. (if he was not immobile, I don't think she could have got it in). It seems to help. I ask again about drinking, wetting lips, "nope, I'll get you something". Something never comes. I ask another nurse, again nothing comes.

He wants to move his arm, but needs to keep it elevated. He needs pillows. The emerg does not have pillows! They suggest sheets, (they are hard as bricks). But can't get any, too busy. Eventually, I find them myself and grab several. I fit him up best I can. He starts getting into pain again. I go ask. "when we can talk to a bone doc, they are all in surgery, (five other boys have broke their wrists due to the nice weather, plus other older people with various bone injuries). My son gets into worse and worse pain. I keep asking, "you need something?" "no". I tell him flat out, "it won't be like last time, they will just add it to the IV you have, you won't know you had it". "ok". He starts moaning. I try and comfort him, it does not work. He starts screaming, I tell him it is OK, let it out, "they need to know he is in pain, and he won't verbalize it in language". Everyone on the floor came to understand he was in pain, I hear the nurse flag a doc and redirect him to us.

He comes in, and says he will get some drugs, but "needs to look that the wrist first". I tell him he is not touching that wrist until he gets some drugs into him.". He looks pissed at me and says "I was not going to until a few minutes after" but he was standing beside him, and starting to touch the hand! I ask if a few minutes will be enough to "kick in". He says "it will start". They give my son morphine. it helps a little bit. he examines the hand with my son crying out in pain. (had to be done). I am asked "again" if he has been to x-ray. I am like , "no," (this is the second time I am asked.) So, they send him to x ray. with new technology, they get the x-rays pretty easily, no major drama.

My son starts to loose it with the length of time this is taking, (we are now at about 5 / 6 hours since arriving, that was about 1 hour after the break). He is dying of thirst, his lips are chapped. I get a nurse "finally" to look for something for his lips, apparently they don't have them anymore, as they where deemed a "choking hazard". So she gets him a cloth I can wring out and wet his lips with. (too little too late, he is over the edge). He looses it again. He is also screaming about "needing a drink of water or he is going to die (his lips are chapped at this point) he is rattling the bed rails screaming that he wants out, just get him out of here, and screaming that he is so stupid for breaking his arm in the first place. I tell him to calm down, and he screams "why can't I have water" over and over again, and I tell him, because if you need surgery, or heavy drugs to get the bones back in place, you may choke on your own vomit in your lungs. That would be really bad, so that is why they don't let you drink. The doctors walk in at this point and explain it further too him. He calms down "a little" but starts screaming about not wanting surgery (we have been at his for hours, his phobia of going under the knife, and the doctors cutting him up for no real reason).

The doctor tells me the wound did not look "open" however the x-rays indicate otherwise. They need to do surgery to clean it, and put pins in. My son hears this and starts screaming about it. "His worst nightmare, surgery!" He becomes irrational. I sign the consent. Before I sign, the doctor reads it out, and talks him down, answering his 100 questions, my son begins to think perhaps he is not going to "die" or be "experimented on" (he references WWII camps and the "experiments done to holocaust survivors"(WWII is an Obsession of his for years). Then, the doctor reads out the fine print INFRONT OF MY SON about the small risks of permanent damage, severing arteries, and nerves. This upsets me greatly, he is already freaked out, and informing him does not change things, he is not in control of the consent, only I am. I sign the forms. He asks me if I have any questions. I am most concerned about after care, and ask if we can be prescribed a sleep aid, as he does not normally sleep well when we go home, and if I can get a weeks worth of 40mg Strattera, because we where supposed to switch to 60mg tonight, and I am worried about side effects, as he already does have some mild ones, and we just can't deal with that and the broken arm right now. I am told he can't do anything about that, the doctor who releases him from peads in the morning will take care of that. Ok...

They tell him he has to calm down as he will be "scaring other patients". He stops screaming, but does ask 100 more questions, mostly related to things he saw on T.V. He knows he is getting pins, are they going to fly out of his arm if he ever needs an MRI done? Somehow he is reassured and staged for surgery. He cries some more, (not as out of control) We talk a bunch more. He asks the next lady questions. Now he seems "mature". She is floored by it, and asks me how old he is, I say 12, she says "he is 12 going on 32!" I laugh. I can't help it. That seems really funny, one minute 12 going on 3, the next 12 going on 32, flip flopping all night!

They come for him, take him to surgery. I go 'wait'. finally I am able to get a drink and a muffin myself. (too cruel when my son was in so much distress, but we wher JUST about to put supper on the table, when this happened, so we where both in pretty rough shape food and liquid wise going in). 45 minutes later, he is in recovery. It is 2:00am. The recovery nurse sees he is in a lot of pain, pushes the morphine to maximum and gives him a huge dose of gravol to keep him sleepy. She calls when he is stable to see when they can take him. They can't. Apparently there are no beds, so his doctor is discharging him, right from recovery, at 2:00am, loaded up to the gills on pain relievers! The nurse is livid, she confronts his doctors, they don't show any sympathy. She mentions all the meds she has given him, they look at her like she did something wrong! She mentions the fact I was told he was staying to morning, and have no way to get home, my husband is sleeping, with two little ones at home. I also mention, I don't even have a place for him to SLEEP at home set up, as he has a loft bed that is no good to him now. They don't care. They seem to play dumb to the idea I was told he would be staying overnight, like it is "routine" to discharge kids at 2:00am who are loaded on drugs and just out of surgery. She makes calls, finds one PICU bed, tries to get it for him, fails. Recovery is quiet, we are the only patient, so she offers to not discharge us, set us up in a curtained off area and let him sleep until 6 when she can drive us home herself. I accept. She makes up a bed for me too, and gets us both warm blankets. This is the first Nice gesture" we get all night, it feels pretty good".

He also needed x-rays done on the hand again, the plan was for us to "bring him back in the morning". She finds this intolerable and demands X ray bring a portable machine down to recovery and do it there. They do. At 6:00, my son is woken up, he is feeling better, (they gave him a Tylenol 3 at 4:00) She finds out that he only has a t shirt to go home in. Suggests he walk out in a hospital housecoat as a shirt, as the T shirt is too hard to put on. We take her up. I get him home at 6:30. My husband sets up a futon on the floor (the frame is broken) he is actually sleeping now.

Tonight, was a night from hell.

Why do hospitals have suck so much?

Why don't doctors and nurses have to be educated on ASDs? Why are they so sadistic? I appreciate they where busy. I appreciate my son was not the sickest in the hospital. but they need to do better with pain management and the idea of not having a pillow or even a swab for lips for a kid who is extremely thirsty is just ridiculous. It reminds me of a documentary I once saw of a woman giving birth in a Russian hospital, on a cot with no sheets, holding her own legs in the air as she pushed! that is our "free health care" at a first class Canadian hospital! Why does it take a kid having to SCREAM to get any help? Had the thirst and comfort and pain been managed a little better, I am sure it would have only been 1/2 as distressing for all. I am certain this is going to lead to some pretty serious phobias for him for the next while.

As we drove home, the nurse told me they had stabbings in the ER as she was leaving. Mom and kids Vs. Dad and knife. They are going to be ok. What a world we live in!

Last edited by EarthCalling on 21 Apr 2007, 12:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What a horrific time you had. And then you had to look after his needs and the needs of two younger children the next day and the next day and ..... How did you catch up on sleep?

I have sat in the emergency with my mother for 9 hours. She is a rather imperious woman and stated after several hours "I am going home!" There was no way I was going to take her home without treatment as she was 93.

There seems to be little understanding about aspergers in the general population, although it is now 1 in 150. I guess the only way to get the aspie point of view across is to complain and make noises and educate others. We have to make people understand and care.

All the best to you and your family.

Thank you!

My husband just got home after trying to fill my sons perscription for Tylanol 3's, apparently there is no date on it, and they did not indicate which hospital it came from, so the pharmacy can't fill it without getting authorization from the hospital!

Geez, will it never end!

your son is so lucky to have you.

I have had to go to hospital and doctors and dentists all by myself since I was seventeen and my family tossed me out. I have always had AS, but didn't know what was going on with me before last October, when I was 55.

I wanted to validate your experience, and testify to it's absolute truth. I do not feel you have exagerated and if anything, you are forgetting a lot more that went on that was just too absurd to deal with in the rush of the rest of the horror.

Just add in the one little ingredient that would have made it like MY experiences. . . no health insurance, and it would be my experience to a T.

living is difficult.

Merle

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That is true... I have to say that even if all our hospitals resemble most "county" or "public" hospitals in the states, the good thing is they are free to all residents no questions asked.

I have a feeling in the states, without Health insurance, they would NOT have even pinned my sons arm, especially right from the start...

no, they would not have. and the wait in triage, or waiting room, would have been hours and hours while gunshot wounds and knifings go first. The wonderful old woman that sat next to me when we were waiting to be seen ( I had stepped into a fryer while cleaning the vents above the grill where I worked so I had bad burns on my foot and leg) just slipped away with another stroke while I was holding her hand, god bless her. It is the law they have to see you, but you go to the back of the line.

Merle

I work at a major public hospital in Australia and the emergency staff are chronically understaffed and stressed. The doctor's become heartbroken when they can't admit patients because there are no beds. It's referred to as a real estate problem.

I'm a health professional and I had no idea what Asperger's was until 1 year ago when Daniel's teacher told me she thought he had Asperger's.

So on behalf of all health professionals - sorry for your experience and our ignorance!

This year on World Asperger's Day I intend on giving a talk to other health professionals at the hospital. That will be my small part in increasing education of Asperger's.

Thank goodness for the recovery nurse.

I tell you - it's the nurses that run the hospital not the doctor's.

Let's hear if for nurses - Yay - I love nurses.

Hope your son is okay.

Smelena

It's amazing how some of the "best" hospitals are rubbish with ASD's. In england i am sure that they need training with ASD's but no other health profesionals do which is outrageous as i know quite a few autistics who have HUGE trouble with the dentist as they don't understand.

hospitals s*@#$! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !
you would think that maybe somewhere out there there would be a compassionate hospital staff that woul not give you such a hard time....so sorry you had to go through this...hope thinks go better soon

That was one of the most horrific things I've ever read. WOW.


It's funny because most people I talk to about Aspergers know what it is anymore, but we haven't had to deal with a hospital yet. Thankfully. I don't know how my son would have reacted, I would suspect he'd waiver between hysteria and completely withdrawing. WOW.


I hope he feels better soon, and that you are able to rest too!!

Thank you;

yes, it was very bad. Now I have to deal with his school, the LRT was down right rude today, saying "he has missed three weeks, I know he broke his arm but you HAVE to get him back, he NEEDS to be here". (he did attend last week though, it was the three prior).

I bet her knickers are in a knot because of funding, they don't get paid if his butt is not in school.

I told her it is our fullest intention to return him ASAP and he wants to be in school, but it was a severe break and he needs lots of rest to get better. 1/2 days are probably the best we can do this week. (sigh).


His lips where so dry that night, they are still chapped and in rough shape today. It is very sad and pathetic!

You're lucky your son's not hypoglycemic! I started passing out from it when I was thirteen and I've already gone to the ER twice in the past eight months. Once from passing out riding my bike and once from passing out for four hours in the snow. Can you say IVs galore? And last time I was there, I already hadn't eaten that day and they didn't want me to eat anything there because of a "heart murmer" or something. However, the time before that, I had a huge banquet there- and it was the same hospital! So don't worry, you're not the only one who has problems with hospitals!

My mom is hypoglycemic. She had a really rough time in her 30's from it. They told her it was the opposite of Diabeties, and that she would become diabetic by the time she was in her mid 40's, from "burning out her pancreas". Well, she is 55 now with no sign of it.

Honestly, I just think it was bloody cruel. They knew when they evaluated him, that it would be at least 6 hours before they where able to fix it, what would a limited time offer of 1/4 cup of icechips really harmed?

I am going to lodge a complaint with the hospital. Their policies are just plain misserable!

My mom is also hypoglycemic, too, and she said she had a really tough time with pregnancy of me. She keeps telling me all these horror stories of how she kept throwing up and passing out, two things I really don't like. Plus I already black out every day as it is (two minutes straight this morning, I just couldn't get myself up).

I've never broken any bones or anything, but I've been getting a few sprains lately. Two falls ago, I fell down a flight of basement stairs and fell on my ankle at this model home (they've put up safety precautions since so we wouldn't sue) and then I fell down the stairs on the same ankle again last spring at my last house. With the basement, the lightbulb had gone out and the stairs made this weird turn and the rail was on the wrong side, so it was no wonder I sprained my ankle then. And for my last staircase, I tripped and fell. I can't see too well out of my right eye so that wasn't helping matters any! But now at this house, we have two staircases (in different directions), which makes it much easier for me.

Anyway, I don't see anything wrong with a bit of ice! It's not like it was going to kill him or anything! I think you definitely should lodge a complaint to the hospital! They handled the situation completely wrong and therefore put your son in even more pain! I hope he's feeling better now!

He is doing much better. I think he can go to school for a 1/2 day tommorow.

Honestly, I think they need to assess peads a little closer, or anyone with a mental condition, asking a kid in significant pain to wait with their basic needs not being met for over 6 hours is just plain ignorant. If they can't get to them, they should sedate them! I asked the nurse right before the doctor came to "reassess him and see if he could "bump him" up, if they could sedate him, because mentally, he was loosing it, and on the cusp of becoming a major PITA!