Could my older son also be an Aspie?

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Hello,

I have 3 boys - 8 year old, 7 year old aspie, 3 year old.

Our 8 year old is the one who gives us the most trouble at home. For 6 months my husband and I have been saying (in a jokey way) - which one is it that has asperger's?

Our 8 year old has been very difficult at home the last few weeks.

I was chatting with the special ed teacher and guidance officer today about his behaviour and they said it sounded like aspie behaviour. Also the special ed teacher has met him briefly twice and said his asperger antenna was up immediately.

They said if he is an aspie, it's milder than the number 2's.

I'm thinking - Oh my God! That would explain a lot!

Anyway, the guidance officer is going to meet with my 8 year old to see if it's a possibility.

Then maybe we'll be back to Dr Attwood's clinic for another assessment.

Has anyone else had that happen? One kid is diagnosed and then you realise another kid has it in a midler form?

Smelena

My 13 yr. old son was diagnosed on February 5, 2007. He has had all sorts of trouble over the past 11 years. He also has a learning disability so he really struggled which led to his diagnosis. My 16 yr. old son read all the books I had around about AS and went "Hey, this is me!" I had to agree although his is milder and he has very high IQ so he hasn't had as much trouble (except for bullies and social issues). He was diagnosed on April 2, 2007. My 14 year old then got a little freaked out so he was assessed but he is the total opposite of his brothers and in no way anything but NT.

I think it would definitely worth looking into.

Personally I have not Dxed a child to turn around and say "whoops... this one too!" But I know it is very common.

In Dx'ing my son, I unofficially DX'ed myself and my mother. Afterall, apples don't normall fall very far from trees.

I know it is very common to discover that more then one child is on the ASD spectrum if one is. One lady here thinks 3 of her kids are! And she is probably right!

Take care;

My god, my mind's been whirring all day with the possiblity that Jimmy is also an aspie. I wrote a quick report for the guidance officer. If you can be bothered, here is info below. Tell me what you think?

I am a N.T. living in an aspie world My husband is an aspie (me and mum's diagnosis), my second son is an aspie, and now I think my oldest is an aspie. My youngest is definantly not aspie.

BTW - I love Aspies!! !

Jimmy has a more mobile face but both boys have monotone voices and shout over everybody else.

The guidance officer met with Jimmy's classroom teacher who has a huge interest in ASD's.

He reckons definantly ASD. First thing tomorrow I'll book him in to get assessed at Dr Attwood's clinic.

Daniel had a major meltdown this evening.

After school Daniel hit his little brother.

I told Daniel not to hit his brother and to talk to me next time his brother is being annoying.

Daniel just lost it! He started crying and screaming repeatedly:

I’m dumb! I’m stupid!

I want someone to kill me! What’s the use of me?

I’m different!

This went on for ages and I couldn’t console him. I told him I love him repeatedly and that he’s a lovely, clever boy. It’s the hitting I don’t like. But I love him. This didn’t work at all.

I suggested a shower might calm him down. He was unable to undress himself he was so distressed. I helped him and as I was taking his shirt off the button scraped his cheek. He said – “Ow that hurt. But I deserve it because I’m dumb! I’m stupid!”

As I was getting the temperature of the shower right he said “Make it burning hot. I deserve to be burned.”

I helped him get dressed and managed to calm him down by getting him to play his favourite computer game “Freddie Fish”.

Jimmy had been in the bath the whole time. Jimmy got out and approached the computer.

I said, “Jimmy, come with me”. I took him to his bedroom and told him Daniel was very upset right now and to leave him alone.

Then Jimmy started crying, “I’m stupid. I’m sorry I’m always being mean to Daniel. I’m a stupid, stupid boy!” etc

I managed to calm Jimmy down.

Also Daniel was punching and kicking kids on the bus today. He was given a yellow card. Anthony will write a social story and do a comic book strip for him tomorrow.

I've e-mailed the guidance officer and special ed teacher for urgent assistance and our first priority tomorrow will be to see them.

As a contingency, my husband has 15 weeks long-service leave us his sleeve. He may need to take this time off while we get this family sorted.

Smelena, I can't help but feel there maybe a source for his frustration,
how close an eye do teachers and ta's keep on them at school?
Is someone victimising him at all?
even with my cub group, its amazing how much the other leaders miss the kids doing (and then to thnik what I must miss...)

Having just rethought about it (leaving the above there incase) I actually think this is response to the yellow card - I know I didn't cope well when I was in 'trouble' - my dad never found out about the only detention I got as I was so ashamed of myself for having managed to get one (saying that, he probably did - I just never knew). Any that teachers tried to give me before, I would always manage to weedle my way out of, for fear of getting into trouble with my parents - looking back, I was in fear of rejection and punishment through dissapointment from them (the best way to get at me is to be dissapointed!)

Second revelation, what triggered him to start punching and kicking, back to my first point?

my hubby was diagnosed 2 months after my son.

*sigh* I feel for you. Definately a scene that played out in my house many many times before, although I did not have "two" of them going into overdrive.

The only thing I would do with the letter about Jimmy is underline highlight or put into bold the key points that are definately Aspie Behavior, vs the ones you THINK made him different, like the drooling or crying as a baby.

Maybe the bus ride in itself was the source of his frustation. That would be more than enough to send my 13 yr. old into a 2 day meltdown. I won't ride the bus either because the smells ,diesel exhaust, body odor and other various people odors, make me nauseous which in turn causes my sense of hearing to elevate and pretty soon I want to hit the next person who moves about.

Daniel sounds just like Tanner(13). He would also become self-loathing and say he wanted to die but now that he has a diagnosis he is much more relaxed. The first thing he said when he saw his diagnosis report was, " I'm not a freak! I have this thing." and he was very happy. My oldest son, Spencer, also said it made him feel better just to know that he wasn't weird for no reason. ( Weird in our house isn't necessarily a bad thing. We don't promote normalcy. :lol)

I feel for you. I know that it can seem like a very long, lonely road. That is what I like about the people on WP. You're not alone.

I wonder if he was just overtired, or had a bad day, sounds like a reprimend from mom was just the feather that broke the camels back.
I know you are just in the stages of putting an IEP into action and HS'ing one day a week. Hopefully it helps relieve some of the pressure off of him.

I also believe that you just can't avoid every meltdown, sometimes they just happen, and there is not too much you can do about it. You can't tailor your childs environment to the point where they live in a bubble or you are constantly walking on eggshells. That is not going to help things either. Middle of the road, meaning you remove the "big triggers" and work to wards reducing stresses is I think a better alternative. Afterall, the average Aspie has to learn to deal with some stress, it just is not avoidable in all cases, nor is it healthy, because things in life, sometimes go wrong, and they need some reference to know how to deal with that.

It does not sound like you did anything to "cause" this, nor was there much more that you could do. I think you are doing the right things and are on the right path to make life easier for your family and children.

Thanks everyone.

Maybe the bus is too much. He was driven too and from school today and was much happier.

The teacher is giving him more freedom to mould the curriculum around dinosaurs and he's been chatting enthusiastically about his school work.

Maybe I have to accept meltdowns are just going to happen every now and then.

Well I went to the GP (dr) today to discuss my older son's possible diagnosis of Asperger's. The GP said, yes, he strongly suspects he also has Asperger's and he recommended an appointment at Tony Attwood's clinic.

I had to say - er - I've taken the liberty of already booking him in. I was lucky when I phoned the clnic. The receptionist had just hung up from someone cancelling an appointment so we have an appointment in late May, Otherwise we would have had to wait approx 3 months.

Then the GP said my oldest 2 boys have always been different to normal kids. He has years of dealing with kids and those 2 are definantly different. Er - thanks for telling me years ago doc. All that time you've been treating me for depression .....

I tell you what ... who wouldn't have depression with 2 Aspies 20 months apart and not knowing.

I actually feel happier then I have in years now. I know what's going on and how to deal with it! For years I thought I was a bad parent because my oldest 2 boys were so different to everyone else's kids.

When no 3 came along, my husband and I kept saying - wow - what planet did no 3 come from. He's so different to the first 2. That's becaus he's NT!

I will keep you posted.

Smelena