Hello parent of a newly diagnosed Autism Spectrum and ADHD

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Hello, I am a parent of a wonderful 5 year old boy, and since I can remember my wife and I knew there was something special about him. He had more energy than most other children his age, he had issues with talking too close, or flapping his arms, he even got the nickname "tigger" when he was in preschool because he was always bouncing when he was happy. We had asked his Pediatrician if maybe he had ADHD, and was basically told no he is just a boy, and boys have a lot of energy. As he got older, we noticed more things, he was never able to sit still for very long, he was either bouncing, or jumping, he also did not seem to understand personal space, or volume control sometimes screaming loudly in people's faces. Also he was potty trained and learned it very well, but then he would have accidents and we thought it was normal, but then he would pee himself throughout the day until you could smell it on him and see it through his pants. We would ask him and he would say he forgot to go, or some other excuse. I would do check up with him and ask if he has to go and he would but shortly after his pants would be wet again. There were a few other things , like his melt downs over nothing issues, like going from happy to epic level melting down over what we thought were small things. After speaking with my mom who is a Doctorate of Occupational Therapy said that he may have some sensory processing issues we may want to get looked at before he starts Kindergarten in the Fall. So we took him to a psychologist and they did the long 2 plus hour diagnostic test on him, then we waited for quite some time to get the results back. We met with his Doctor last week, who told us she was not confident in just giving a diagnosis of ADHD, because she felt there was something there that they did not test for in the initial evaluation. So the Doctor took out a packet and went through everything with us and he tested for High Functioning Autism Disorder. So since then my wife and I have been trying to read and learn as much as we can about it, so we can have a better understanding of what it is to have Autism, so that we can be better parents to our son, and be more empathetic to him when he has his meltdowns and tantrums. I am basically looking for support and tips or other handy things you may have picked up that have helped you, or your loved one along the way.

Greetings,

Your situation sounds similar to mine about a 2 yrs ago. What I can share with you is this:

Prior to our sons ASD dx he was dx'ed with SPD. Through 18 months of OT we learned that a sensory diet for him has been a great way to help him stay regulated throughout the day. In the school setting, they allow for him to have chewies, and a quiet fidget toy for his hands. He also keeps a pair of headphones in his cubby in the event of a school assembly where things can get to loud for him. At home we have a nubby seat cushion that he sits on at the dinner table, it helps, but he still rocks back in forth in his chair. As for the meltdowns, our son had them too. What we learned is that when the meltdown came it wasn't necessarily a reaction to the simple thing at hand, but more the breaking point for a period of time that was overstimulating, could be an hour, the whole day or it was due to the transition from one activity to another. (What takes a normal person 2 minutes to transition will take my son 15-20 maybe even more) Some of the things that we have implemented around the house are a visual chart with little magnetic flaps. He has one for getting ready in the morning (breakfast, change, brush teeth, get book bag, and all done and one for getting ready for bed (bath, dressed, brush teeth, potty, story, lights out). Once he finishes a task he flips it up to mark it completed. This allows him to visualize what he needs to do, what he's done, and still needs done. Another visual thing we use is a half pie chart sectioned off into thirds with the words slow, just right, and fast with a little movable pointer (think clock hand) and we ask him how his engine is doing, and he can either tell us, or move the hand, if his engine is running high we can do something off of his sensory diet, a calm down bottle, or swing. We have just started using a picture of a volcano to indicate levels of anger, both for him and for me.

I don't have anything to offer on the potty training front...but I do find it interesting because my younger son (3.5 yrs) has been doing that very thing. Like you, I have gotten the "he's just a boy" reply many times from professionals, family and friends. What makes it hard at this age is figuring out is it age appropriate behavior, or is it something else. What also makes it hard at this age is that kids are at asserting their individualism stage without the cognitive reasoning or emotional regulation parts of their brains turned on yet.

If he likes to climb and swing there is a great product called a Gorilla Gym. It is a structure that mounts in most any doorway (we have our in my sons closet door) and you can attach a climbing ladder, trapeze bar, swing, and other things, its great!! !! Easy on the wallet and worth every penny.

In the end, what I have learned is patience, patience, patience and take care of yourself, find time for you and your spouse. This type of parenting gig will take ya to your limits. I call it "the churn". Some books that I have found helpful, "10 things every kid with Autism wishes you knew" and "Uniquely Human"

Hope you are able to find some good in all of this.

Kind Regards

This chart sounds awesome! Is it something you made, or purchased? I love that you can visually mark something as completed, but not actually have to place a pen nearby. That would spell disaster in a million different ways.

I'm in the same place with the OP. We're about to start our 5 year old's assessment, but almost certain he will qualify as ASD. And since both his parents have ADHD, chance are he'll have something there, too. This website has been a goldmine of "oh my gosh, I can't believe there are other kids who do that!!".

They are things that we have made here at home. We have started one of his weekly schedule so that he can SEE what has going on each day, so he can anticipate it better. If I can figure out how to add a picture from my computer I'll post a pic. Seems like you can only attach pics from links. Kind Regards

No worries! I haven't the foggiest how to do that, either! I have a few ideas how to make something that would work well for him. I want to get him to a place where whatever he's capable of doing for himself, he does it for himself.* It's mostly for me, so I won't feel resentful towards him. It also means letting him wear his clothes inside out and backwards, shoes on the wrong feet - once his clothes are on him, it's like WWW3 to get him to fix it. Not worth the drama!

*I was initially compelled to do this so he'd feel competent and strengthen his self-esteem, like "all the books" say, but since learning more abd more about AS/ASD, he may not give one whit about being capable or feeling proud or whatever. He might just want it done, whoever can do it, he doesn't care. Which is fine! I'm just realizing I have to forget everything I thought I knew. (Which isn't hard, with the ADHD and all )