has he or hasnt he got aspergers

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hi I'm in need of a little help and i figured here was the best place to try
i stumbled across an article in a mag about a boy that had aspergers (it was in real people )
it said the boy had communication problems and socialising , straight away i thought sounds like my son so i went digging on the Internet
my son is now 11 nearly 12 and about to go to secondary school so I'm very worried
it started 3 year ago when he was 9 when he started eating paper in school he was obsessed by it
the teachers thought he was just being naughty , so we got the normal come to school to discuss your sons behaviour letter
this lasted about 8 month with us constantly getting letters from school
he lost every jumper and PE kit we bought but didn't no why
we moved after the 8 month and he joined a new school the paper eating started again , he started eating his jumper sleeve , hiding under his coat , getting frustrated , refusing to talk to the other kids , not going out at school play times , refusing to go out in the evenings , becoming obsessed with numbers writing page after page of numbers hes a whizz at math ,he wont talk to people in the street or shops if they say hello , it looks like hes very very rude,he dos the strangest of things like hiding under clothes rails in tescos
2 weeks ago i was called to a meeting at school to discuss his transition to the next school as there worried , the new school has a program for kids with problems but they say hes to intelligent for it
i would like to ask other parents out there how can i get help where do i start?

Where do you live? That might help in narrowing down the sources of help in your specific area.

Your son does sound like he is responding to some kind of stress, for sure. My son is the exact same age, and has been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. He does well in school, grade-wise, but is doing funny things like hair-twirling (he has a longish hair cut) and spacing out rather than paying attention in class. I have the same concerns for him as you have about your son, transitioning to a new school.

Kris

hi thank you for replying
we or in the Newcastle upon tyne area
he dos great at school (top of the school in maths ) but the teachers have to explain every thing to him in a different way then the other kids or he gets annoyed and yells he doesnt understand,
the teachers in his present school or fantastic but only because they now him

i suppose i'm hoping some thing can be pin pointed before September when hes pushed in to a crowd of kids and he freaks out as hes scared in crowds

but if he had some sort of autism wouldn't it of been picked up before now?
he was put into ican at nursery age as he had learning problems they told me he defnitly didn't have autism
bah lifes dam hard as a parent >.<

He sure sounds autistic. What was their reasoning when they said he definitely wasn't autistic?

he started to develop normally with his language and literacy the problems didn't recur until he was 8 or 9
his younger brother age 9 has had the same problems with learning and was removed from school to a language unit at a different school, he would hide under tables at school and refuse to come out
but again nothing was diagnosed with him , he was put back to main stream school last September and is loving it with a teacher helping him 1 to 1 an hour every day,

we have a third son who's 4 and so far no learning problems if any thing hes above his peers , he seems to under stand things better and clearer then both the older boys =/

i can honestly say i am very scared to get a label put on him but the other half of me is relived iv felt i made a mistake moving his schools for a long time
both me and my husband have blamed our selves had many a fight over his behavior
and to no we are not alone is a huge relive

From my minimal experience, it seems that often Asperger's isn't diagnosed later than autism, specfically BECAUSE there is no language delay. Asperger's isn't a mental delay as much as trouble with picking up on social cues and other social difficulties. Often children with Asperger's are very adept at maths, and just as often they have a dislike of noise, crowds, etc.

Unfortunately, I'm from the U.S. (used to live in London -- had a friend from Newcastle Upon Tyne!) and so I'm not sure what services are available in your area.

You could do a Google (or some other search engine) search with the keywords: AUTISM (OR ASPERGER'S) SUPPORT Newcastle Upon Tyne

That might give you some more info for your local area. If that doesn't work, try the same search with the next largest city, and see if that brings more results.

Kris

Your son sounds very much like both of my AS sons. They are 16 and 13 and were diagnosed in February and April. The younger, T2, did things like eat paper and his clothes, as well as pull out his hair when he was younger. I never knew what was going on with him. When he got to middle school he began having trouble learning and was always in trouble for this or that. It was very unusual for him to get in trouble. It escalated to a nightmarish storm of melt-downs and anxieties. I finally took him to the mental health clinic (in Canada) and they directed me to various professionals. It took 6 months, but I got him back into a mainstream class in his public school and told them how they needed to modify the program to meet his needs and had them draw up an Individualized Employment Plan. He just received "Most Improved Student For the Reporting Period" and is happy again. It took a lot of work on my part. I had to fight to get him what I wanted him to have.

I think a diagnosis is a useful tool for getting a child what they need from schools and so forth. My oldest son, S, was diagnosed because he wanted to know. He saw many similarities between himself and T2. He has used the diagnosis in high school to help his teachers understand him better. Rather than worrying senseless about things like public speaking says I'm sorry, I have Asperger's and I can't do that. It is too stressful. It has taken a load off his shoulders.

I think the most important thing to remember is that you are his parent and know him best. Write a letter or list of all of his past and present behaviours, right from birth. Write down all of the behaviours and character traits that he has, good and bad. I didn't ask what was wrong. I TOLD them I believed he had AS and didn't back down. I was always polite and level-headed but I was firm. I use the work advocate alot and that is key. Also, many dr.'s need you to say AS, not autism, because they seem to forget that AS is rather like autism, with some differences.

I know the journey is hard, but I think a dx. for a child is a good thing and you only need to use it when it will benefit him. It will get him what he needs and get you some piece of mind.