11 YO son having violent thoughts

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Our 11 yo boy is telling his mom that he is having thoughts of a bullet going through her head and thoughts about cracking his nieces head open, among other very violent thoughts. Said he won't act on those thoughts but he is very disturbed by them and wondering why he's having thoughts like this. Does any of your Asperger's son's or daughters have these kind of thoughts? VERY WORRIED! Paul

It's possible his thoughts might be related to obsessive compulsive disorder:
http://www.ocduk.org/types-ocd

The more afraid he is of the thoughts themselves, the more often he might have them. He may either learn to let the thoughts pass without judging himself as a person, or face the feared thoughts in cognitive behavioral therapy:

Google "intrusive thoughts"

Most people have them from time to time. A "normal" kid just wouldn't tell you about it.

Agree with both above responses. Intrusive thoughts are something most people have. However, there can be an anxiety and OCD component to them in some cases. You might have some strange thought, for example, and instead of just brushing it off, you start obsessing about why you had that thought, what does it mean, and then you start having the thought more, it becomes a vicious cycle. I'm not saying this is what is happening with your son. But you might want explore if anxiety or OCD are issues for him. Best of luck to you!

Another possibility - these thoughts might be a result of his austically specialized brain. A lot of us seem to memorize differently. We can get really intense flash-back type flashes of exact information instead of generalized remembering. Temple Grandin used the example of horses. Some kids would think about generalized horses. She would get these flashes of different specific horses. Sometimes I experience this, but I get emotions along with each picture that are just as intense as living it again.

Why is this relevant? Well, when I see things on TV, I can remember it the same way. So, violent images stay with me very vividly. It's a real problem in this day and age, where super violent programing is becoming normalized. I've started restricting myself to children's programming as a result. Your son might be more influenced by violence on TV than other kids.

I agree with the other posters that this is a sign your child is under unusual stress of some sort. More likely, he's worried about his Mom and neice than angry at them, based on how you are describing the situation.

One thing that comes to mind is the political situation in the US right now. Your son might be hearing about how Trump hates women and this might be expressing itself through anxiety that they are going to be attacked. I don't know if you even live in the US, but it's worth mentioning to you.

Somanyspoons, how do you always manage to come up with brilliantly original insights into all sorts of situations? The children in your special ed programs were, or are? lucky to have you.

They're intrusive thoughts and very common. I've had them a few times. They can be violent, suicidal, sexual, or otherwise taboo in nature. Mindfulness exercises can help. Trying to resist the thoughts makes them worse.

I had violent thoughts all the time and they are usually triggered when people get me upset or when I am frustrated about stuff that are caused by other people and I used to have thoughts all the time about killing our puppy to end my misery and I would think about how to do it by drowning him in the pond and thinking about doing it when no one is around and I would always fantasize him being brutally tortured and his crime was for peeing in the house. TBH I might have actually killed him if he didn't die from slipping on some ice and falling against the moving car because I might have ended up giving into the compulsion and I would have been a sociopath and I don't know what would have happened. Maybe go to jail for animal abuse and then be banned from ever having a pet all because I was forced into a situation I couldn't get out of that drove me into psychopathy due to anxiety. As an adult I would just rehome the pet because I would be in control and I wouldn't get that far before that happens. But you don't have that choice at 16 and that is why I have compassion for anyone who is forced into a situation that makes them go crazy they do something they would never do all because they got overwhelmed and couldn't get out of it.

I was seeing a therapist then so I discussed all this with him and then I was so relieved when my mom told me our puppy was hit by a car and he died. She felt the same way too and then my daily meltdowns had ended and my anxiety went down.