When your kids marry...

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I think I might have a hard time handling the familial change of when my kids marry. To tell you the truth, I won't know how to conduct myself. When is a visit "too" long? What to talk about? If there's grandchildren, I can simply escape by drowning them with love and toys. But before that, it's going to be difficult. If my in-law's parents are aspie, it might work out but if they're NT, I'm nervous that they'll be put off and give my kids a hard time because of me. Maybe meds are the answer. But what kind??

Are your kids about to get married?

I am not good with those types social issues, but I think they may actually be easier with your own kids. Some of it will depend on how close you live. if they are far, then a longer visit may be more OK, than if you live close by. You may get an idea by how long they visit you, but sometime kids will be willing to visit for longer than they would want visitors.

Once your kids are married, and after you are invited, you can simply ask if a given amount of time (err on the shortish side) would be alright, and make sure to say you will understand if they want it shorter for whatever reason. Don't try to probe and see if it is the in-law who wants you to cut it shorter or anything like that, b/c in the end that does not matter -- and could cause bad feelings.

If you ask your child (without the in-law around) presumably your child will be honest and not give you insincere social lies like, "stay as long as you like" if they do not really mean it-- That said you know your kids, and if you have to insist on clear honesty.