No wonder it's so hard to get help in Va. read this article

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I have been trying to figure out why it is so damn hard for me to get any help for my kids. It's like everyone wants to hand it off to someone else or completely tie you up in red tape so that you get nowhere. I also thought that if they at least got a dx I could go to medicaid and see about a DD waiver so maybe I could afford the therapies they should be getting, well now I know that is not an option that will work for us either. My pediatrician just sent me this article and reading it was like getting hit with a brick. It's an article from a local newspaper about two counties away from me. It seems I am left with only one option, to move out of state and I don't know how I would afford to do that. Here's the link, I hope it works.

Virginia has failed to provide adequate care for children with autism

this is what we faced in Indiana. Once my son was over 3, we didn't have any state-funded services beyond the school district. This was a district that was wealthy but very limited in their goals and ideas about "early intervention". At the time, my son was considered "severe" and so we simply left. It was a combination of reasons, but the compelling one was that Indiana wouldn't do anything for us. They had a freeze on medicaid or whatever it was that funded services.
Now we're at a point where my son doesn't need state-funded services. Those critical first years are so important.
I understand Maryland is ahead of the game (as far as your region goes) in autism research, training and whatnot. New Jersey too.

It's pretty bad everywhere I think. The states start out ok with early intervention services, but once the school districts take over, services start to dwindle every year until they graduate and become adults and then there's nothing at all.

It keeps me up at night. Nobody wants to cover the financial burden - not the insurance companies, the schools or the federal government. I have a feeling it's only going to get worse.

Carolcat, the link worked, thanks a lot. It explains a lot about our struggles for Z.
We live in Hanover county, just north of Richmond. I don't know if this will help you but here is what we had to do. After dealing with a private Psychiatrist who was more interested in his wallet than Z's needs we were able to get him seen and treated by Hanover Social Services. Check your county's Social Services and see what they have to offer, it may help. If you want let me know what county you live in and I'll try to talk to talk to Z's Clinician and see if he can offer any further advice. Cor handled most of the details, she's good and fiesty as hell when it comes to our kids, I was trying to make a living. PM me or try to catch me on line. If you get Cor tell her who you are and I'm sure she will be able to give you some advice on how to proceed.

Best of luck.

Thanks, we are in Orange County. My little guy who is probably the most affected by his issues has been in the early intervention system since he was 5 months old, so by now you would have thought someone would have done something, but NO. They never gave him any of the evaluations I requested, only a speech eval after I threatened legal action. Even after he was diagnosed privately. When I took it to the school system, they did the evals, but said he was not delayed enough or that certain evals were inconclusive(like speech), we even went through the interview with the social worker who wrote that we were supportive parents and that all evaluations should be done and followed through on, but nothing. So not even the social services worked for us. I don't know what it is with this county. My little guy is supposed to start preschool if they accept him in the fall, but I am not sure what will happen, he has no transition work done. They were supposed to start him in March recommended by Va. Infant and Toddler Connection so we could make a slow transition, but tha was ignored as well. We are working on getting them all into the Va. Treatment Center to see Dr. Bela Sood who is supposed to be one of the best. At least my insurance pays a little bit of diagnostic costs. Had any experince with them? I feel like giving up, but I know I will keep fighting something has to work one day.