Do other parents call you or your child's school.....

Post Reply New Topic

and complain about their behavior?

I'm just wondering if parents these days are more tolerant now than they were in the past.

I mention this because I had a sudden recall last night of something that slipped my mind.

20 years ago I was going into second grade and it was not exactly a good year for me. Lot's of meltdowns and all the other fun things that go with them, right there in school. Needless to say, I turned a lot of heads both in and out of the classroom. The school district brought in it's resident psychologist who gave me an eval in which I was labeled as being "EBD" and recomended for placement in a "Self-contained educational program...". Somewhere during those evals, I now recall it being brought up that my principal had fielded several phone calls and letters from parents of other students who were upset with the fact that I was allowed anywhere near their kids.

As parents of aspies, have you ever found yourself on the recieving end of such a prediciment?

I'm not a parent but I am a 26 year old aspie.

I had some problems with parents and teachers and other staff at my school making it known that they thought I was 'odd'. It seems like a wierd thing to do - who would think 'I'm going to phone the school today and tell them that I think this girl is odd'??
I can't say I understand that thought process.

Teachers even came to my house when I was 3 to talk to my parents about the fact that I was 'odd' and would not socialise and seemed pretty much phobic of the other children.

As an adult, I have often been considered 'odd' by my colleagues which in 2 cases resulted in me being bullied out of the company, and in another case led to my contract not being renewed because (apparently) I was 'disruptive'???

When I asked one of the senior members of staff about this later, he said that the quality of my work was great (and I had been told this regurlarly throughout my employment there) but they just couldn't cope with the fact that I was 'different' and also thought it was wrong that I didn't want to go to the pub with everyone after work (my idea of a nightmare) so they didn't think I was really 'one of them'. And yes, all these employers knew I had AS, so surely they should have allowed for the fact that I might be a little 'different'.

I'm sorry to hear of the problems you are having and I wish you well.

actually, i feel that parents now are more nosy and involved in other's business than they used to be.............tons of personal evidence on that one.

I think things were different when we were kids, Scoots. AS had not officially been discovered yet, at least not when I was a child, and it certainly was not as prevelant as it is today. I think with more and more people being diagnosed and more public awareness, society has become more tolerant. (I know tolerant is a harsh word, but it's the only one I can think of right now because I need more coffee!) (However, tolerant may be the best word, but acceptance certainly isn't the right word.)

Of course, over the last 30-40 years our society has become a whole lot more tolerant on many issues (i.e., race, sexuality, etc.).

I think the same things go on now, but parents have become more sneaky about doing it. They talk to the friend of the friend who knows someone at school and then it gets relayed to the principal or whoever.

I haven't had any experience (or haven't been told of any) with parents complaining about my son. The last school he was at, he hurt some kids and I felt it was unfair that the situation was getting to that point. I've mentioned this before, but the "final straw" for us was Pop biting another child. It wasn't his fault or the other child's but the incompetent school staff. I know that the staff was characterizing my son as a "bad kid" and it was just a matter of time until I got confronted.
I mean, turn it around, would you want to find out that your child's class was always disrupted by a tantruming child, kicking and screaming and possibly hurting your child? On a daily basis?

When he was little (2-4) strangers would stare and talk about him and what we should do about him. Total nightmare.

Now the parents are really cool towards us, cool as in cold shoulder. Regardless of how their kids like my son, the parents don't acknowledge the relationship.

We haven't been called... yet. This is my most immediate fear. My very recently diagnosed daughter is 7-1/2 and in 1st grade and having some behavior problems at school. The worst was earlier in the school year when she threatened another child. I know she did not understand the gravity of what she was saying, but I am surprised (and grateful) I never heard anything from other parents. Yesterday we had another issue, not with physical violence thankfully, but if the kids talk at home to their parents, I'm sure the parents will start to call in. Thankfully the school is being as supportive as they can be, getting the official evaluation ball rolling, etc., and the school year is nearly over.

I'm not very trusting of parents these days even though I am one myself. Parents today -- to my eye -- seem super-protective of their children to the point where the kids themselves can do no wrong. I have friends who are teachers, and the stories about their students pale in comparison to the stories about their parents who won't accept their babies are anything less than perfect. This seems strange for me to say since I am now on the defensive with my own child -- the difference, I guess, being that I know my daughter's behavior in school is inappropriate and unacceptable. We're just still not sure how to deal with it!

My 7 year old son has a best friend who's mother is fantastic. I gave her some information about Asperger's and she did a lot of research herself.

My 7 year old son starting kicking and punching her son. She let me know what was happening and that she'd explained to her son that it wasn't malicious.

We sat down and came up with an action plan.

My son stopped hitting her son and they're playing together happily again.

I was so pleased that she let me know in a non-judgemental way. Her actions helped save the friendship.

My son is 12, 13 in September, and it was not until January that we got an official DX of AS.

That left a lot of confusing years where my normally pleasent and polite little boy would just "do things" that upset other people and the school alike. It seemed like there was "always something" when it came to other parents. Every time I would pick him up from somewhere, they has some rotten thing that my son did to report. I used to actually walk up to peoples doors praying "please let there be nothing today... please let there be nothing!

My "favourite" thing he did once was when he was invited to football game by a friend of mine, he was on good terms with her children. They go off, all happy, and when they come back, I can just see on her face that he did "something". So, I ask "how did it go?" and she informs me, that she bought him a popcorn, and the people a row down complained that he was spitting kernals out on their heads!

I ask him if this was true, and he tells me "NO! I was spitting them on the floor infront of me!" Well, this is very tight stadium seating, and I am sure that no one would want a 10 year old spitting out kernals within 1 foot behind them, and I am certain some probably did land on their heads! He just could not "get" why this was a problem. and to this day, defends his actions.

It cost him the friendship, and I very soon after drifted away from her. Our lives where "incompatible" with my "rotten" son. funny thing is, I never liked her kids much either!

I have often wondered about this myself but if they have, noone has come to me and let me know about it. There have been quite a few little incidents that have occured over the school year such as hitting other children, spitting water out onto someone else's food, telling another parent to shut up, writing inappropriate notes about other children..... I know the reasons why behind everything he does but I'm sure others view it as he's a bad kid etc. Sometimes I feel a little funny when there are gatherings at the school for parents to come to but hey I and my child have every right to be there too.

In my son's first year of school I had a few parents come up and say isn't it nice that the school will take him (i guess they thought he should be in a home somewhere).

most were accepting and now 3 years later he has a lot of little friends who look after him when he is teased by the bigger kids.

His friends parents are very accepting and the ones who cannot handle his Autism i avoid. I was asked to take him away from a birthday party when he was 5, but the other mums there told me to stay......