Ongoing battle with the school

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It would take an epic novel to describe the battles I've had with the school. I will just tell you about a few in the last couple of weeks.

AussieBoy got diagnosed with Asperger's this week. Last week I had a couple of interesting conversations with the guidance officer and his classroom teacher.

Learning Support Teacher tells me a couple of weeks ago that she identified strong AS traits in AussieBoy when he was in grade 1 (3 years ago) but decided he didn't need an assessment. Also she didn't discuss it with us. Again when he takes part in a programme for anxious children 1 year ago she again noted strong AS traits in AussieBoy but didn't organise an assessment or tell us.

Guidance Officer among others things tell me that it is extremely unlikely that AussieBoy has Asperger's because he behaves OK at school and only acts up at home. Also AussieBoy is able to talk about feelings/emotions and people with Asperger's definantly can't do that. Also Guidance Officer says AussieBoy doesn't show any signs of anxiety at school (why did he participate in anxiety programme then???)

Classroom teacher tells me that he doesn't believe that AussieBoy has Asperger's. AussieBoy has been acting up at home because I am anxious and he is picking up on this anxiety (yep, good old blame the mother).

It was the special ed teacher (he only started at the school a few months ago) who told me he thought AussieBoy may have Asperger's. He met AussieBoy once for about 2 minutes when AussieBoy came up to say hello when he saw me chatting with the special ed teacher. Special ed teacher noticed his tics, speech pattern and lack of eye contact.

So AussieBoy gets diagnosed with Asperger's this week.

I send an e-mail to the school cc'ing to Vice Principal, classroom teacher and guidance officer stating AussieBoy has been diagnosed with Asperger's. I also write that I have been given inaccurate information regarding Asperger's by several staff members. I state that I will bring in our psychologist to give some training.

I didn't name the staff.

So I get an e-mail from the guidance officer including among other statements "My skills, knowledge and training are current."

So I'm pretty furious so I forwarded his e-mail to the Vice Principal. I then wrote her the following e-mail (I think I showed great restraint)

I only have energy at the moment to focus on getting the best treatment for my boys. I have no desire to engage in an argument about the level of skills and knowledge of staff members regarding Asperger's Syndrome.

I will say that I am extremely disappointed in the timeframe that it took to reach diagnosis for AussieBoy and UbbyUbbyUbby's diagnosis to come about.

This is despite the fact that when AussieBoy was in grade 1 (3 years ago) it was identified that he had strong AS traits but this observation was not acted upon and was not discussed with us.

Further observations of AS traits in AussieBoy were made in grade 3 but again were not acted upon.

The special ed teacher was the one who identified the strong possibility of Jimmy having Asperger's Syndrome and that was after meeting Jimmy for about 2 minutes and a short discussion with me regarding his behaviour.

I am concerned because currently research shows the earlier intervention is made in chidren with AS the better. Because of the delays with AussieBoy's diagnosis we are starting intervention later than may have been possible.

In Year 1 it was the classroom teacher who drove the process of UbbyUbbyUbby being identified and assessed rather than the support staff.

I have been given inaccurate information by a number of staff members and I strongly suggest staff knowledge about Asperger's is increased so this does not happen to another family.

I will say I am extremely happy with the support UbbyUbbyUbby is getting now and he has improved out of sight at school and home.

This evening AussieBoy was crying about school. Here is a copy of the e-mail I sent to the Vice Principal. Again, I think I showed great restraint!

AussieBoy told me about an incident at school today. He was looking at A's spelling homework (which is easier than AussieBoy obviously because English is A’s 2nd language). AussieBoy said to A “Your spelling is so much easier than mine.” (A typical Asperger’s observation – honest but unknowingly hurtful).

AussieBoy told me that his classroom teacher said, “The problem with you AussieBoy is that you always have to make other people feel bad to make yourself feel good.”

If this is an accurate recount by AussieBoy I find this statement very unhelpful and untrue.

We know AussieBoysays hurtful things without knowing the effect he has on others. We are working on this with him. There have been many tears from AussieBoy as he realizes this.

Statements like the one AussieBoy reported is damaging to his already low self-esteem.

Where do these people get their degree's from? The back of a cereal box!!

That is the end of my rant!

I'm so sorry for all you're going through with the school Fortunately our school and support staff have been great with us and our situation so when I hear stories like yours it makes me sad and angry and frustrated. I wish you all the best!! Hang in there

Stuff the professionals who suck on crisis theory or whatever it is called nowadays ("blame the parents for everything")....

Personally, I would never teach my child to suppress their inner voice if they’re able to exhibit it verbally to others. Then, I would teach said child that bluntness could hurt others because they are insecure, and they like to lie; and authority figures that defend said liars are no different.

It's good that young people are gettin' diagnosed nowadays.... This does offer a better tomorrow for many people....

I'm hoping my battle with the school will ensure changes are made. The Vice Principal has been fantastic, and I don't think she realised what has been going on.

My husband has not wanted me to send the e-mails saying that we need a good working relationship with the school.

But I'm not going to sit back and say nothing. I want change to come about at the school.

Fortunately the special ed teacher is fantastic. But he only gets involved with the kids when they have the diagnosis. It is the learning support teacher and guidance officer who are supposed to identify these kids early!!

I've shown restraint in my e-mails because I want to maintain a good working relationship.

If I'd said what I really thought in my e-mails there would be red hot flames coming out of the computer!

You are doing a good job. Go get'em!

Good work!

Keep it up!


That includes updating me.

I sent you a message. I really hear where you are comming from.
Some days are so hard to get through, why can't these schools see that their actions have a direct negative impact on the students and families lives and future?

It is kind of hard taking your venting seriously with a smiling belly dancer dancing beside it!

I completely understand where you are coming from about the comments made to AussieBoy! I am so sick and tired of these people assuming that our kids are manipulative or deliberately hurtful! It is such crap! Did he need some social coaching? Yes absolutely, but a comment like "his words are easier because he is learning english, I would like to point out that what you said may be missinterpreted as a hurtful comment, some people don't like it pointed out that they are not working at the same level as the rest of the class."

Best of luck with getting the school to honour the DX!

I'll look around for an avatar with a frowning belly-dancer!

schools are usually very stupid and useless when it comes to helping people with AS take it from me
normal school will do beans for him

Ah, but most schools haven't had to deal with me!!

I am intelligent, know how the system works and will do battle for my kids. I am assertive without being aggressive. I am calm when I deal with them (although I feel emotional). In other words .... I scare them!! !! !!

I think the defensive e-mail I got from the guidance officer demonstrates ..... I scare him!! !!

Try messing with my kids ........... Evil

Kilroy, you're creative, come up with a good nickname for me. ScaryMum or SuperMum is just not imaginative enough!

Lady Evil
how 'bout that
good luck
good that your kids were found out early
I had to suffer anf be ridiculed for awhile...
and even afterwards nothing happened
I've never really gotten special help-the schools never tried my parents did
but somewhere along the life I got screwed

[quote="Kilroy"]Lady Evil
/quote]

Lady Evil!! ! I loooove it!! !

Lady Evil flies around the world, doing battle for those with AS!

Ooooooooooh Lady Evil needs a theme song!

Hmmm 'Eye of the Tiger'???

What do you think.

Ooooooooooooh Lady Evil needs a motto!

Give me some ideas!! !

Lady Evil has a song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfs-F_Kb ... ed&search=
(bad quality)
"Lady Evil is coming-you can run or accept you have no way out-either way your doomed to her"
(that just came to me)