frustration rises...

Post Reply New Topic

It's my son's last day of school, and along with his report card is an enclosed note. Keep in mind, the school has not done an assessment of any sort, and will not even fill out a piece of paper for me to take into a therapist or doctor to show them, and hasn't returned any of my phone calls for a full year. I get behavior notes daily over these things... but anyway, enclosed was a letter:

"Zack has shown some good academic growth this year, but still has had trouble paying attention and practicing self control. Please continue to work with Zack over the summer and encourage him to keep reading! I have enjoyed having Zack in my class this year-have a great summer!"

So the rest of the note was good... but I don't understand why they keep writing me to tell me about his attention problems and self control problems every single day, and haven't seemed to look at this a bit seriously after it going on for a YEAR straight, even after I asked them what they might think was causing it, and brought some things to their attention as possibilities of what it could be... He's probably missed over 100 recesses, lol, and has had to sit out of every single group project this year! What is this going to do to him in the long run-no wonder we have so many self-esteem issues... This is very similar to when I was a kid, and it was never checked into-it never got any better either... only worse.

I'm very frustrated, and dread the fact I have to send him back to this school again next year-he's clearly got something going on, and all they seem to attribute it to is him behaving badly

Am I taking this out of context-am I not "getting" it? Should I be this frustrated?

When my son was in nursery school (3 years old) the teacher told me he was just plain wicked and should be taken to the GP to find out what was wrong (he just did silly things like painting the outside of the paint pots because he was bored). She wrote a long letter of complaint for the GP who said he was just a normal boy. He had problems all through school, I kept saying is he ADD but they said he was just bad.
At 16 he went to college, finally had a test and was found dyslexic but too late for his education. He is doing fine, in a job he likes (he is not AS and is sociable) but I am still frustrated at the wasted years because teachers think they know better than parents. I wish I had home-schooled.

yeah, I've brought this up to his teacher MANY times-they've even had one on one meetings with me about his random spitting. I finally told them I am doing what I can for him at home, and am working on finding out what is going on for him, but I can NOT be there to monitor impulsive behavior at school. I'd think they could figure this out by now after watching it day in and day out, and feel like yelling at the top of my lungs that if they want it under control in their class maybe they should learn what it is so they know how to deal with it, instead of ignoring it and punishing him all of the time (being in trouble all day every day will cause plenty of problems alone as it is-especially if it's just impulsive stuff).

you can demand that he be evaluated by the school psychologist and put your demand in writing and they have to do withing a certain number of days by law. Here in Kentucky if you don't agree with their assessment then you can have a private one done and if it differs then the school system has to pay you for it. Not sure how it is where you live.

I will have to check that out-fortunately he's going to be getting an assessment at an autism center right alongside me through the summer So I don't have to mess with the school until next year starts up. I just hope they actually pay some sort of attention to it once he gets that done-I just want him to have a more decent time in school. He really does love the school setting, and still thinks school is the coolest thing around since sliced bread, lol. So I don't want to have to yank him out-I'm just tired of him getting in trouble and getting notes every night because they won't pay attention. God help me if this starts up again next year, lol.

Good, then you will get an IEP, and make sure they stick to it!! ! An IEP is a legally binding document.

It's really hard. My son's teacher has been telling me all year about how he seems to just drift off or "not be there" with them. She's complained about how he doesn't seem to pay attention, or about how he doesn't want to join in groups...or how he has to be constantly redirected and monitored while doing classwork. Yet, when I brought my concerns about all of this and that we're in the process of having him completely evaluated for Aspergers, her response is that "he's doing fine", and that she wouldn't want to see him placed in any kind of a special ed environment for even part of the day because those classes would keep him behind. HUH? I told her I wasn't interested in moving him to special ed, but on the same token I AM interested in getting him services due to the Aspergers. I have to wait until next year because his diagnosis won't come in completely until after school gets out (I have a preliminary diagnosis from his pediatrician, but we want a neurologist to completely evaluate him so that I can have that formal written diagnosis for the district, and also so that the neurologist can help determine what classes and services he would benefit from the most.) - so this year is really shot. His teacher stands by the fact that my son is doing really well in school - which he is - except that his teacher qualifies that at every turn by saying "he's only doing that well with an extreme amount of guidance and monitoring". Ok then, so help me out, I say to her. She just tries to backpeddle from what she's said all year - which makes no sense to me at all. It's just very frustrating. I know what I see when he's at home, and I know what I've known his entire life, and that's what makes me so sure that I'm not imagining anything. Even his pediatrician sees that, so with or without his teachers' help - I'm going to keep plodding ahead.

this sounds exactly like the same thing I went through but with the preschool teacher. She kept telling me he was okay, and that it was fine etc. etc. etc. but then would complain about his behavior. That is why I went outside the school system for our dx because they were so exasperating!! !! !! But things have drastically improved once we got an official dx, it was like they had to pay attention and take me seriously now!