meltdowns when they're young

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My 20 month old son hasn't had a meltdown for several weeks now, but he is having one right now (which is why I'm online). He has been screaming for nearly an hour now. No, he's not sick or whatever other thing anybody could imagine might be wrong with him. He's just having a meltdown... I think he might have woken up from his nap with a headache.

These days, 99% of the time he is the best boy anybody could wish for. He is bright and smart and cheerful and making incredible gains with his diet and therapies. I'm so blessed! But when he does this meltdown thing it just crushes me. Sometimes if it's a sensory issue I can help him work through it, but today there doesn't seem to be any particular reason. I know he's hungry, but he won't eat or drink until he calms down. I feel so trapped and inadequate and alone when I have no control over how he feels. I think he is winding down now... but I'm so frazzled from listening to the screaming for so long, I'm crying myself. I'm really not a nervous wreck kind of woman. I'm very strong emotionally. But his meltdowns hit all the weak spots I have and reduce me to a vulnerable mess.

Did any of your kids do this at this age? How did you cope? I don't know if he is HFA or AS or just a very incredibly quirky NT at this point... he has not yet been diagnosed, but has been tested as quite socially delayed as well as other issues. Any suggestions and support are welcome.

Z would have what we now know were meltdowns When he was much younger ,but there were seldom measured in hours. You might try alternating soothing or cuddling with alternate periods of letting him scream but with an admonition that He must calm down and behave. Yes, I know he may not understand all the words but be sure yiur tone is firm and don't let him sense the panic in your heart. He will understand more than you think. Z at age 10 still has times when he is unreachable but it does get better. It is not easy, I can only promise you a very broken road. I can also offer you hope, take every route you have to take to get a dx for your child. That will give options. Get a copy of The Strong Willed Child it is at at least a start.

My 20 month old is going through this right now as well. I think it's the 2 year molars starting their way in. I think the pressure in the jaw/ears is too much for the little guys.

can remember my son going through periods of screaming when he was little. screaming, flailing, stomping...you name it. can't really remember how we made it through it.best of luck

no, Corsarzs, that was my parents ..........I really don't know how we made it through when the boys were very little. they used to get in fights all the time~ that was LONG before we knew anything at all about aspergers. our NT son was just so different than our aspie son~ honestly, we thought something was wrong with our NT son & the way he didn't get along with our aspie son
i can recall pulling the boys off of each other....telling them for the millionth time to stop swordfighting with sticks...... now, though, they're very close & my NT son is very protective of his brother. there's still days that my NT son just doesn't get or accept his brother's & father's differences ( they're both aspies)....it's tiring sometimes having to help son learn to be accomodating and accepting without feeling like he's compromising his own well-being and his own needs. ( i suppose trying to teach anyone tolerance amd acceptance of others' differences is at times frustrating , yet ultimately rewarding)

The best advice I can give U is remember to take a time out when u are overwhelmed. My son says mom needs a time out so she can handle me better. I go to my room or take a bath or even go and get milk. My husband or relative or PCA takes over. Once I realized what was wrong with my son it was easier to walk away and take a time out instead of getting mad.