HELP!! !!

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Hi

Im an aspie Im posting here beacuse I hoped some of you guys might be NT or just have more life experiance so could help me, Im strating university in september 10th and Im going to an icebreacker party but: I dont know how to dance obviosuly dancing will be required but I ahve no idea how to do it, I could avoid the party ??

I may be relatively NT, lol, but I do not dance! There is no such thing as required dancing unless you are entering a dance contest! My advice would be to seek out the other people congregating around the edges of the room and introduce yourself. If everyone is new to the school, it should be fairly easy to find relevant topics like "What dorm are you in," "What is your major," "What classes are you taking this semester," "Where are you from?"
You are bound to have something in common with someone there! Good luck at the party, and in school!

Well. . . you have two options.

HandsFull is right that dancing is pretty much never required in social situations these days. . . although I must add that it can be an enormous boon if you can manage it well.

If you do find yourself, for whatever reason, compelled to dance, you can

a) plant your feet hip width apart or slightly more, then shift your weight back and forth to the music. This works best if you can relax your spine a little and sway your arms a bit too. For reference, see the teaching to dance scene in the movie Hitch.

or

b) Go for broke. Go wherever the music takes you; be wild and weird and over the top.

If you opt for b, do be careful not to invade people's personal space. . .

But with that caveat, it has a number of advantages.

- It shows that you've a rediculous level of confidence, attracting all the people who are in for wild and interesting fun
- It weeds out all the people who aren't down with weirdness
- It can not help but display your personality

I have a number of friends for whom this works quite well. It was never my thing and I don't expect it to be yours, but I thought I'd throw it out there just in case.


If you wish to learn to actually dance. . . that's a good option too, though not the work of a day or a month. . . a great option, actually. I recommend swing, salsa, and ballroom to start. . . ballet quite good if you can balance it with something that involves a lot of hip action. . . Learning to move well has tons of advantages- in projecting confidence, in projecting whatever else you want to project in social situations, in reading body language. . . plus, graceful has a way of being incredibly sexy but not obvious or over the top.

I can not tell you how useful my formal dance training has been in social situations. . .

I'm an NT, and it's been a long time since college, but I do remember one freshman icebreaker I went to where they had everybody square dancing, of all things! If that doesn't 'break ice,' nothing will Anyway, my point here is that even though I'm NT I'm also completely introverted, and the thought of any kind of dancing, let alone square dancing, had me petrefied. Once I got there, though, I found plenty of other people, both outgoing and shy, who had far more interest in standing around the snack table talking about just the kinds of things Handsfull mentioned: dorm assignments, classes, hometowns, etc. than they did in the dancing. One other thing that helped me was that I went over there with my new roommate. We didn't know each other very well yet, but it helped not to walk in alone. Are you staying on campus?

Take a dance class, either at a professional studio or through your local park district. Salsa is a very popular dance, and it works nicely for social situations, especially when there's Latin music playing. Swing is good too, and you can adopt the moves for freestyle dancing, the kind young people do in social situations. Believe it or not, the moves from swing actually helped me when I was out dancing in Israeli nightclub. The theory behind it is that most modern dance music is written in the fast 4/4 time, like swing. So learning it will help you follow pop music as well. Even more so, knowing classic dances is becoming cool again, with all those movies like Shall We Dance and Take the Lead coming out.

Hello Hop-Along,

I am NT, but in the sub-category of 'weirdo'!

I don't drink alcohol, so this makes me stand out in social situations.

Also I am a belly-dancer and regularly give performances/workshops at my sons' school. You should see the looks I get from other parents as I walk around the school in my belly-dancing gear!

My advice:

1. Only go to the party if you want to go to the party. This is not the only chance you'll have to meet people. There are plenty of clubs you can join related to your interests.

2. Only dance if you want to dance.

3. If you decide you want to dance then realise that dancing is 90% confidence and only 10% technique. If you stand there dancing thinking 'Oh my god, I'm hopeless, this is so embarassing!' then you will look awkward.

Our belly-dance teacher tells us that we should be thinking, "I am fabulous! I am a goddess! Look at me!'

We have watched plenty of video footage of our past performances, and how I'm feeling inside certainly shows during the performance.

So if you're going to dance, get in lots of practice - even go to lessons if you want.

But remember when you practice to be thinking "I am having so much fun! I am fantastic!"

An easy technique that looks good is circling your hips. Stand with your feet hip width apart and circle them one way. Now circle the other. Change directions.

There are plenty of belly-dancing lesson dvd's around.

Belly-dancing translates fantastically to hip-hop/party dancing!! !

Have fun
Helen

Hope you feel welcome here Hop-along, Interesting question. One of the first things to remember in life is to be true to yourself. I don't dance, never liked doin it though I enjoy wotching those who do it well. My wife, Cor loves to dance. when we go out where there is dancing, she dances , I watch. ( I will do a "slow dance" occaisionally with her, that saves her feet if she's not wearing her steel-toed boots) If you go to the party try to relax and have fun, social functions can be such a bore, even for Nts.
Watch for social cues, I'm sure you've trained yourself in at least some of them by now, check your list of responses and pick one. The idea of an "ice-breaker" is to help you relax in new surroundings, not to compel you to do something you don't want to do. Remember other people there will be as uncomfortable as you, Introduce yourself and say "I never know what to do at these things.", you will already have something in common. If you choose not to go, don't worry about it, you will meet plenty of people while you are wandering the halls of higher education.

PS to Smelena, You always make me smile, its good to be back home among friends.