Newly diagnosed

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I was just diagnosed with aspergers at 40 years old. I have 4 kids twin 10 year old boys one has aspergers like me and the other has oppositional defiant disorder, my 6 year old has not been tested yet and neither has my 5 year old anyway the reason I am on here now is because I literally have no clue how to keep up the energy for my kids,housework,yardwork, and anything else that everyday people do. My wife works 40 hour weeks because apparently i can't hold down a job and because of my age and limitations I can't even get interviews now. I just feel like I am regressing more and more each day my extended family just say I am lazy and don't even believe in autism because I had to go my whole life in passing and I think I am just getting tired and worn out and I have no friends or anyone to talk with during the day except my kids which is fine but some adult conversation would be nice. My wife says I am to blunt so that is why I can't make friends. The only friend I have had since 2009 is my wife. I guess I am just wondering how other parents with autism that have autistic or other special needs kids function.

making schedules and sticking to it, except for emergencies
prioritise, eg. kids, food, shopping, cleaning etc (once a week shopping by one parent is most advicable)
housework can be done when kids are at school, they can do some chores too, learn them to do things themself, it takes more time at first, but later on you won't have to spend time on that
yardwork's a lesser neccessity, you can't keep up with the jones with four kids,
but you can do it with the children, they can 'help' or play in your sight
and schedule family-playtime or outdoor activity, and one on one-time too

welcome btw

make a weekplanning with the spouse, so you'll be supportive of each other
also maybe do not have too many rules, they'll wear you out as parent and might bias communication, because children will test continually (and get attention in this way)

Thank you we do have some planning because I homeschool the kids. I never intend to keep up with the jones's but a little prioritizing would help but the fact I have aspergers also my planning and prioritizing are not the best either. Thank you for the advice though it should be a help.