My tiny tyrannical dictator

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Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm new here (and to forums all together). I have a 4 year old son with PDD-NOS. After years of work with countless amounts of doctors and therapists he will finally try to mimic what you say. He still mostly depends on nonverbal communication but can do some basic sign launguage to fill you in on more specific needs. Progress is progress I'm definitely not complaining about that. I guess I'm here to vent and maybe find some like minded people. For some reason people meet my son and suddenly treat me like I'm Mother Teresa. You know, the whole, you're so strong and brave almost immediately followed with sympathy and that look we all know as the thank God thats not my kid.
The thing is I'm starting to crack. We just recently moved states for my husband's job. So, now I'm away from all my friends and family in an unfamiliar place (which is a bigger city than I've ever even imagined I'd ever live in) and everything is just harder. The move was tough on my son as is. His 10m sister is stark contrast to him. He doesn't sleep even with his meds, he rips apart whatever he can get his hands on, and the fits, even as a baby I was covered in bruises and bite marks from him and now it's only worse. No punishment works and, I'm not proud to say, I'm just having trouble getting out of bed. Everything it just daunting. Between finding him all new doctors, a school, therapists, while literally getting beaten in the process not to mention day to day needs, taking care of a household, and making sure my daughter isn't left behind in the dust. The inside of my head is just an endless recording or my voice saying I just can't do it anymore. How does everyone else cope? How do you manage to fight absolutely everyone. I have to fight with insurance, doctors, therapists, school, and even my son. I'm furious with him and heartbroken for him. I've spent so much time trying desperately to get him to speak and he still wakes up every morning reverted back to the same breathy, high pitched, whine/sigh, that hits multiple vocal cords and keeps winding up louder and louder until I just wish he was silent again. I feel terrible for wishing it but it's like Darth Vader meets an air raid siren and is by far the most annoy noise I've ever heard come from the human body especially when it gets so high and sharp that a whistle being blown directly in my ear would be a welcome relief. He recently added a sound that closely resembles choking leaving me in endless panic with me running up to him slapping him on the back which he thinks is hilarious and leaves me in an exhausting constant state of panic. Two years into potty training he's finally realized he's not supposed to poop in his pants and poops in the floor instead(and smears it EVERYWHERE) because just pooping in the toilet would be to easy . It's not that I don't try to get him to poop in the toilet either. I've sat there with him for over an hour while he held it only to poop in the floor the moment I'm not there to catch him. My poor daughter is falling to the way side because I just can't keep up. My husband and I always used to joke before all this that there was no perfect way to parent and no matter what your kids were going to be screwed up in one way or another. I look at my son who just a little while ago was making great improvement, and was my always happy little snuggle monster. He's now a dictator, a tiny tyrant if you will, just a plain ol' monster who make me question everything down to simply my capabilities as being a parent. I hate waking up every morning to him screaming and think aww crap this again what did I do in life to deserve this. What kind of mother thinks that. I'm tired of planning every single second and thinking of ever possible outcome and planning for everything. I'm just exhausted. Mentally and emotionally and physically exhausted. I'm sick of all these therapists saying I don't do enough, and all these mothers who some how expect me to be superhuman and then treating me like a horrible mom the moment I don't live up to what they think a special needs mom should be. God forbid, they realize I'm just a mere mortal.

OK, the first thing is breathe and try to relax. The second thing is that I know it hard for most mothers but you need to stop caring what other people think. You can't and probably should not do everything suggested to you. You are going to get a lot of advice from well-meaning people, busy-bodies, random people, experts who do not quite get your individual child, and you are going to have to sort the wheat from the chafe based on the needs of your little guy.

i don't know how to tell you how to ignore all the useless people and advice, in a socially acceptable way, b/c I don't know that I necessarily do. But I guess you can say something like, "Thank you for advice," and then do what you think is best. When you feel up to giving specifics of what advice you are getting and what people are critiquing you specifically about, we can get to into helping you sort through the advice if you want.

it is not uncommon for kids on the spectrum to have a delay in potty training. The more stress you put on them to get on with it, the more likely you are to get behaviors worse than just not using the potty. People can be terrible about encouraging parents to try to hurry through this particular milestone. There might be some kind of specialty diaper that makes it harder to access the contents. Hopefully, if anyone has had this issue and found a solution they will post. Then I would frankly take a break from training until he shows more readiness even if it takes awhile.

As far as verbal language goes, I would try not to worry. Communication is more important than verbal communication. If you can get him to use sign language, PECS cards, if he will draw with you and watch you draw--any of that is better than nothing. It is a misconception that this will prevent spoken language when you pursue alternative methods of communication. You can continue to talk to him simultaneously to build up his receptive language vocabulary. Autistic language is often delayed and it tends to take on the form of echolalia at first where they repeat what they heard before. It is great to build up this database. The best thing you can do im addition to that, is build a relationship with play and communication of whatever type works. Play on the floor with him, and follow his interests, and maybe try to include your youngest too so you can multitask.

I do not know what options there are for respite,but I think you sound like you can use some. Maybe your husband can help and research this for you, so you do not have to add to your plate.

This is way too funny. Sorry, I was giggling all along when I read your message.

If I had given my son for you to raise, he would have turned out to be another tiny tyrannical dictator. If you had given me your son to raise, he would have turned out to be the happiest child around... smart and creative, too.

Let me ask you one question: how much is 1+2? OK, easy question, the answer is 3. Now, how much is 1+2+3? That's easy, too. The answer is 6. Now go for 1+2+3+4. The answer is 10. Good. You are good at adding numbers, right? Now, let's say you are superhuman and can add up all the positive integer numbers superfast. What would you get? Well, the answer is negative one twelfth. That's right, 1+2+3+4+... = -1/12. The answer is not infinite, not positive, and not even an integer. Am I bullshitting you? Nope. That's the correct answer.

Would you accept that your intuition sometimes can be wrong?

There are two worlds: the neurotypical world, and the autistic world. Neurotypical children should be raised the neurotypical way. Autistic children should be raised the autistic way. You try to raise an autistic child the neurotypical way, sorry, all hell breaks loose.

Sorry, who told you that punishment would work for autistic children? Ahh... you just assumed so because it works so well for neurotypical children. Mistake number one.


Sorry, who told you that you need to teach your son to speak? Ahh... you just assumed you needed to do that. That's mistake number two.


And who told you you need to potty train your son? Ahh... you just assumed so. That's mistake number three.

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I have a good and easy life. I really do. You want to know why my kids are always happy and smiling?

I raised my children, autistically.

Instead of talking to my children, I drew pictures and wrote down words for them. Every day. Every night. In fact, every moment I needed to talk to them, it was through pictures and written words. I "talked" to them through their eyes, not through their ears. I did that exclusively when they were from 2 to 4 years old. Then gradually phased out until they were 7 years old or so. They started to talk around 4.5 years old.

You know what? My 8 year old son just got 94% in English in California's MAP test (Measurement of Academic Progress), despite that he still kind of talks slowly. Oh, by the way, he wrote his first computer program in Python when he was 5 years old. How is that possible? Well, he was not talking until he was 4.5 years old, but he started to read when he was 2 years old. You can't write computer programs unless you can read. My daughter's reading speed was so fast that last year in 3rd grade the teacher had to put her in a separate table from her classmates during reading activities, because she was reading higher grade books.

So, while you were trying so hard to teach your son to talk, I was teaching my children to read. See the difference? While you were trying to talk to your son, I was drawing pictures for my children. My children got to see my elbow, drawing and building things for them. It was monkey see, monkey do. Once they started to create their own drawings, my job was done, and life can't be easier ever since.

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I am always at a loss at how parents can possibly remove tantrums from non-verbal autistic children, if the parents don't draw pictures. My conclusion is they can't. So the resentments in these children just pile up day after day, week after week, and year after year. I was always able to remove the frustrations and bad feelings from my children, every day, by drawing pictures and explaining to them. That is especially true at bedtime.

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Autistic children don't need to be taught to be verbal, or social. They frankly don't need potty training, either. Just take them the way they are. They will teach themselves all these skills on their own. Give yourself a bit more time. Frankly, nowadays I still spoon feed my 10-year-old daughter once in a while. You know, teachers, therapists, and strangers in general would all gasp when they see me doing that. Do I even care what other people think? Nope. Why don't you take a look at her recent piano recital? She taught herself to play that tune. She was the only child that played and sang at the same time. I assure you she is cute, smart, and darling to everyone around her. When my daughter can do all those creative and talented things (including comic book drawing), why would I care about whether she needs to be spoon-fed or not? Do you think that just because I spoon feed her today, she will never be able to feed herself when she grows up? So why should I be bothered by other people's opinion?



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"Punishment and reward" doesn't work for autistic children. Use "Fun and Facts" instead.

http://www.eikonabridge.com/fun_and_facts.pdf

Follow your son's interests, and expand from there. I always tell people that my son learned every skill he'll ever need to learn in life, from elevators. You name it: talking, drawing, writing, typing, playing with building block toys, math, electronics, socializing, etc. Everything is linked to his passion for elevators.

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I have a good and easy life. I don't struggle. I've always had fun with my children, even since the days they were non-verbal.

See, the thing is, despite I tell people to draw pictures, very few people do it. The fact is, most parents only want to rant. When it comes to changing what they are currently doing, they actually prefer the status quo. Drawing pictures is so much more painful for the parents, than going through with the tantrums of their children, or seeing their children lagging behind. They always say: each child is different, that drawing picture works for my children but won't work for their children. So, I won't insist. It's a competitive world out there. I can only care for my own children. See, the destiny of their children has already been written, a long time ago. I am purposely trying to be annoying, just to see if you can prove me wrong. Most people cannot change the karma they are dealt with. Each person is free to choose. Most choose to have a miserable life. That, is just a fact. Am I right, or am I wrong? You tell me.

Thought of it a bit, maybe ready to response.

First of all: relax. Get some tea. Order your favorite food. Phone a good friend – a one that supports you.
Relax about your son, too. Really. Relax about his milestones. He is already autistic, right? Potty training and speach therapy won't change it, so they can wait right now.
You have recently moved. It's a big change. Autistic people have hard times with change. And lots of people, big and small, autistic and neurotypical, become horrible when having a hard time.
He won't do much "progress" while adjusting to the new place, so it's not time for pushing it. Make your comfort a priority over his milestones. Really. It will benefit everyone. Let him wear a diaper if he is not ready for the toilet. Does he have some comfort item? Favorite blanket or something that he likes? Let him keep it.
If he can use some sign language – great! Communication is more important than speaking. You can communicate by drawing, showing flashcards, anything that works is good. He may even be able to learn reading before speaking, it happens among autistic visual thinkers.

My general advice: relax You need it and you deserve it

I think this comment is out of order. Please don't make fun of other people's struggles, eikonabridge.

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time with your son. There is a number one rule for every care giver, and that is to take care of yourself first such that you can take care of those you need to take care of. The universe has not tasked you with fixing your son, you just need to make sure he is safe. Make it a point every day to take breaks for yourself when you can do so without compromising his safety.

As for his speech, he can't speak properly because he does not (yet) have the neurological wiring for it. He is probably as frustrated by his difficulties at not being able to communicate his needs, as you are. His speech may develop in time though.

Punishment for a lot of his behaviors probably doesn't work because they are not actually behavioral problems where he is doing something bad just to do it, or out of disregard for you.

As for the chocking sounds, I think this may be sensory seeking behavior. You respond by slapping him on the back (this is not actually necessarily the proper way to respond to choking in all situations....see first aid instructions on the matter for further details) and he finds it funny, so he has incentive to do it. He has figured out cause and effect.

Since he likes being slapped on the back, why not use it as a reward when he's doing something you want him to be doing?

As for the defecating on the floor, a lot of children on the spectrum seem to have a problem with toilets. He might be afraid of it or it's possible that he gets a rise out of your reaction when he defecates on the floor and smears his feces. When he does this, I would not make a fuss over it. I would just quietly clean it up without saying anything.

If you can catch him in the act and get him on the toilet fast enough such that it makes it in, and then make a positive fuss about it, perhaps he will begin to equate using the toilet with desirable responses.

Little Miss Mixer,

I can sympathize with your frustrations. We raised three Asperger kids and many years ago I was one myself.

It is tempting to think of your children as monsters because it is difficult to understand such horrible behavior unless it was motivated by maliciousness.

The Aspergers kid faces two problems.

1. Sensory and neurological processing can create “overload” conditions resulting in higher levels of anxiety, frustration, and even anger.

2. Mental processing is less adopted from surroundings than structured intentionally. Like a child trying to drive a car, a child that attempts internal mental structuring can construct ways of thinking that reflect and prolong immaturity. Usually in late adolescence the child may begin to exercise corrective control of these internal structures such that what has always seemed a deficit, may now begin to be turned to an advantage.

Here is a link to a free pdf booklet describing this;
http://christianpioneer.com/blogarchiev ... e_2017.pdf

The key for a parent is to find ways to motivate the child to participate in learning self-control. Having the child sit on a chair until he regains his self-control is one tactic.

eikonabridge has out done himself this time. What a self righteous cvnt. He must pat his own back so hard he leaves bruises.

There is room for all points of view. When you attack and belittle someone from the get go, you've moved into intolerable jackass territory, no matter how good the rest of the information might. I baled on this particular tl;dr, which is sad. There is probably some good stuff there, but when your opening salvo is a whole heap of smug and self righteousness, why bother?

We get it, eikonabridge. We get it. The glow off your halo is blinding...

For a moment I thought you were talking about the title of this thread: My Tiny Tyrannical Dictator...

Oy.

I don't disagree with you that obviously people should not be calling their kids that. That said, the woman was clearly in the weeds, and I think it may also be some kind of ironic-type NT attempt at humor. (not sure about that, of course)

That said, you can say that in a more productive way that doesn't drive the poster off before she can learn something.

When (earlier in the thread) you rhetorically asked the original poster questions in the form of, "Who told you you should do X?" You should know the answer more than likely is "everyone." NT parenting techniques are the default. It is how most people are raised, how most people's friends were parented and how most of their peers parent. Likely their pediatrician has no clue how to parent a child who is not NT and is giving the same advice. The most popular parenting books/blogs are the same. It doesn't make any logical sense to expect people new to autism and/or this board to know that this is not best practice for autistic kids. The odds are that parents who are having issues with traditional parenting are being told to double down on the bad practices and not in any way being encouraged to think outside the box.

Our job here IMO should be to help posters in that situation to rethink what they are doing not to just assume they can't and won't learn. If you start out from jump, being condescending and patronizing, people are going to just leave. What percent of new posters stick around now? Not many. Why do you think that is? I also have strong opinions about certain things, and when I think someone is just looking for validation to be extra strict or kick a child out of their home, I also get a visceral reaction to a post. That said, I still try to give the poster a little time to think about what they are doing.

This poster is not even in that category. She is in the weeds, frustrated and IMO, therefore not looking at editing language,more than actually wanting to dehumanize her child. We ought to be cutting her some slack.

The other thing is this forum is not supposed to be about establishing credentials for being an expert on autism. Each of us is an expert on our own child, maybe, but that is it. No one here is an expert on autism in the general. No one. It does not matter how many braggy posts you make, or how often you say your children are smiling ear-to-ear all the time. Other people here have happy kids too. Some may have (hopefully temporarily )unhappy kids. That does not make them less worthy than you. The notion that you can't post advice unless you have curated a perfect Stepford image, is ridiculous on its face. The idea that if you ask for advice and admit you have difficulties you must be so flawed that you have failed your kids forever is as cruel as it is false.

We all stand on the shoulders of others who came before us. Nothing you do with your kids is especially radical or revolutionary. Everything you do is a variant of something someone else has done before whether you realize it or not. Sometimes what you do is a clever spin, but a spin nonetheless. And none of it applies to all autistic children in the general case b/c it is a spectrum of differences.

Jason, seriously, what is your end game? Are you trying to drive everyone off of this sub-board, just so you can feel sufficiently superior to everyone else? Are you trying to sell books? What is your goal. If your goal is to persuade people, you are failing rather epically.

I think the author of this post wasn't intending for people to take the title so literally. I think the underlying meaning of the title is that the child is sort of ruling the household and requiring all of the attention, and the parent needs help. I've watched many videos of parents handling autistic children with severe developmental disabilities, and it's basically an all encompassing task that doesn't end. It requires incredible patients and commitment.

Excellent. Now, folks, go back and apply the same sense of humor and "not taking it literally," to my response, and you can figure out the underlying meaning.

I went back and re-read my message, and it's just that: funny, entertaining. I didn't see an iota of malice, anywhere.

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You mean I did not provide help? I did, and better than anyone else in this forum. And please don't call autism "developmental disabilities." The disabilities are only on the side of the adults. The children are perfectly fine. Why don't you read on the thread nearby about "Obsession With Chucky (Evil)" and understand why my children are successful while other children's lives are hell? All the problems and difficulties in autistic children are artificiallly created, by adults.

http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=359688

Raising autistic children doesn't require "incredible patience and commitment." Look at me today. My life can't be easier. Adults need to understand that these children are different, but otherwise perfectly fine. These children have a different way of growing up. You insist on raising these children the neurotypical way? Sorry, all hell breaks loose. And that, is the fault of the adults.

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You think you'll succeed in changing people out there by being nice? Tell me, how come you have to do homeschooling?

I've been extremely nice when I started. Then I see families after families suffer, many of them ended up in divorce. Most people keep going out to search for "cures," "treatments," etc. They spend a fortune. I scratch my head. I mean, it's not that I don't tell them what to do. I give them precise instructions, tons of examples. I even held workshop teaching people how to make video clips. Guess what? They look into medicine, diets, supplements, blame vaccines, try one therapy after another. I mean, look at me here: when have I ever stopped posting things that I've done for my children, or what they have done, with our hands? Huh? Everything we do, you can see, because we've worked with our hands. The outcome, the end products of our creativity, are there for everyone to see. It's always visual-manual, and don't forget about the MANUAL part. What do other parents have to show, at all? They only talk talk talk and talk with their mouths. Nothing comes out of their hands, or their children's hands. They have NOTHING to show.

My conclusion is: only a small fraction of people will get it. The rest? The destiny of their children has been written a long time ago. Nothing you can do. People like to argue with me. No problem, keep arguing. My children keep moving ahead, while these people keep having miserable lives. Keep arguing, go ahead. Keep laughing at all my comments and advices. By the time you wake up, your children are already old and beyond repair, while my children are a total success. I don't have the time nor energy to save other people. My children are my priority. How many years have I been telling people that my children are happy with big smiles on their faces, every day, and that they are darlings to everyone around them?

- - -

Nahh... I've been plenty nice, and what I see is, well, nothing happens. Most people are stuck in status quo. Sure, there is a small handful of families that kind of doing fairly OK and their children are happy, too. But if I have to put a number, 98% of people are suffering, and it's not that I haven't tried to help them, but it's simply that they are unable to learn. Nothing comes out of the parents' hands. NOTHING. I mean, raising autistic children is not hard: you just need to put a piece of packaging tape on your mouth and you'll understand what to do. See, without the packaging tape on people's mouths, they'll continue to talk talk talk talk talk and talk, and do nothing to develop their children.

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What's the end game of, say, Grigori Perelman, huh? He proved the Poincaré conjecture, didn't he? They offered him two top prizes in Mathematics, one came with one million US dollar. He declined both. He did not even publish his work in a journal: he posted it on the Internet. Was he try to get famous? Was he pursuing money? Was he trying to get a job at a top university?

Or was he simply doing what he thought was the right thing?

- - -

I've repeatedly described the end games in this forum, it's just that you weren't paying attention.

One of my messages is rather simple: autistic children are perfectly fine the way they are. There is no such a thing as Autistic Spectrum DISORDER. Get autism out of DSM. Move autism support out of the healthcare system, because it's not a healthcare issue. It's an educational issue. It's a social stability issue. Fix the adults, don't fix the kids.

There is serious mental illness in our society. Most adults need to be treated, because they are suffering from this illness, which is also causing learning disability in them. It affects their life quality. They have to face this mental illness, head on. That mental illness needs to go into DSM, whatever you call it. Fix the adults, don't fix the kids.

And personally, I am here on a project like SETI: Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. You should know that unlike all of you regular loud voices here, there are a few silent observers with advanced degrees (PhDs) that have approached me privately. I am by no means the only person in the world at my level. There are others. And as long as I keep the beacon beeping, one day they will find me. It may sound silly right? I mean, beeping purposelessly. But guess what? One: the real SETI people are not stopping. Second, under a different context, that's how I found my wife. Ha ha. So, here I go: beep, beep, beep.

Those things are some of the end games.

We are not there, yet.

Oh, and you want to know the real end game? Here it comes.

- - -

Intel just released news about an AR (augmented reality) glass.

http://bgr.com/2018/02/05/intel-vaunt-smart-glasses-release-date-features/
https://www.theverge.com/2018/2/5/16966530/intel-vaunt-smart-glasses-announced-ar-video


AI (artificial intelligence) is coming, like it or not. We already live inside the Technological Singularity. Yeap, keep laughing, keep mocking at me describe most people in our society as having mental illness, because you won't have much longer to laugh anymore. When the robotic era arrives, then and only then you will realize what learning disability means to you, or your children. Go ahead, argue with me all you want. Keep talking, keep arguing. It's a competitive world. You snooze, you lose.

Autism is a 5-minute issue. Understand it, move on. There are bigger things that you need to worry about.

See, people are still stuck and arguing about trivial issues like "tiny tyrannical dictators." They have no idea what's coming. It's like they have 100 steps to climb, and they fail at the very first step. I am 50 steps higher than them, and they argue with me and are unable to climb even the first step.

People don't know how lucky they are to have autistic children. Once you understand what's coming, trust me, you won't want to have neurotypical children.

So my main message is: WAKE UP! This is a different world.

And your original response to the OP? Also not malicious?



Oh, I totally own not having very good people skills. Not having people skills is something we have in common there. I also live in a backwater town and that also does not help. That said, homeschooling is working out for us, though I would not have chosen that path and my son is smiling ear-to-ear, so I can't complain. The main thing I needed for him was a personal aide -- which your child got, yes? You never really explained why your child needs an aide, or for that matter the ABA practitioner, by the way.




So you are just screaming out into the wilderness hoping someone will hear? OK. At least that is an answer.

Autism, which I have, is a developmental disability. It's not an overall advantage. You want to say otherwise, that's fine.

As for your advice, I think it's quite vague, to be frank. You say you raise an autistic person differently, but you don't provide examples or methods for doing so. When somebody does that, it makes me think they are just trying to sell something.

You should look at fatherautism on youtube. He and his wife have been trying to potty train their 12 year old daughter for over 9 years now. Advantage....where's the advantage in that? You know, you can say whatever you want, but there's truth and than there's denial.

Are you even serious? Have you tracked my past postings, at all?


And who told you autistic children need potty training? (By the way, do you mean "FatheringAutism"? Those are parents that fit the "talk talk talk talk talk" pattern that I was referring to.)

See, the problem is always the same: adults create problems where there was none. They spend all their energy on irrelevant things, but don't spend one minute on the relevant things. They let the brains of their children go idle, and after 12 years, they say: "See, my children can't even potty!" Why don't you track all my past postings and see what I do differently from other parents?

After all these years, I can only conclude that the children are totally fine. But the adults are seriously mentally ill.

I still spoon feed my 10 year daughter from time to time. See, most people would gasp at me doing that. But hey, see all the talented things that my daughter can do and you'll understand why I don't pay even one iota of attention to other people's opinion. She recently performed a piano recital and sang at the same time, on stage, with a tune of her choice. No one taught her to play that tune, she learned by herself. A few weeks ago she sang the Frozen theme song "Let It Go," but in reverse. I recorded her singing and used software to reverse it, and guess what? It sounded recognizable in many places!! ! I just have so much fun with my children, every day. (I did the same experiment myself, trust me, I couldn't recognize a word in my own singing.)

As I always say: Bill Gates wearing a diaper is still Bill Gates. Instead of worrying about turning our children into Bill Gates, we worry about... diapers? Trust me, once your children are as developed as Bill Gates, they won't be wearing diapers. Don't flip the causality of things. Potty training is totally irrelevant to the development of your children. I know because I am still spoon feeding my daughter. Do you think she won't be able to feed herself when she gets older? Ha! She is already feeding herself, by the way. The point is I don't care about making my daughter neurotypical. I developed my children autistically. Strangely, my children are much more verbal and social than other children on the spectrum.

You have not even touched the link I have provided. Here it is again. This time, read it.
http://www.eikonabridge.com/fun_and_facts.pdf

You think the shortest route to potty training is by doing potty training. Then, as in the case you mention, you can spend 9 years without achieving it. Try to understand the Linear Space vs. the Dyadic Space in my article. What you see as the shortest route is nothing but an illusion. Autistic children develop differently. You cause problems because you insist on applying neurotypical method to raising autistic children. But then, that's not my problem, is it? I don't struggle, I have an easy life. If other families choose to live a miserable life, that's their choice.

So I read your PDF file expecting some specifics. I saw some examples, I suppose. So basically, when my child is happy I should remind him that there will be hard times ahead. Pretty typical parent stuff. You constantly reference two math equations, but it's unclear what they have to do with parenting an autistic child. I'm sure what you wrote makes sense in your head, but I swear, it's like you smoked some crack and than wrote of thoughts on paper.

I'm not sure if your paper (or whatever you want to call it) is written with NTs or autistics in mind, but as an autistic I sure can't get it. I guess it's just that you present yourself as this ultimate dad, giving the best advice in threads yadda yadda and it's just a bunch of random thoughts formatted into paragraphs.

I'm glad your kids are happy and I hope they'll continue to be. But personally, if I had a 12 year old child who was wearing a diaper, I'd try to potty train him/her. You have to consider the dignity of the child. And let me be clear, you take a child who is 12 years old with a diaper and you bring him to a restaurant full of autistic people, and you'd still get some thoughts about how that's pretty old to be wearing diapers. This ain't some sort of "NTs are bad" thing, this is a more basic human thing.

I think we should agree to disagree and move on. Perhaps you should consider not acting like the smartest man on earth and maybe try to be more down to earth. Heck, if you're going to present yourself as smart, you'd better start writing some coherent thoughts for Christ sakes.