Is ABA therapy done in school? Or home only?

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Hi all, I have a high functioning autism spectrum daughter age 8. She's an introverted girl who can also be very lovely and bubbly with her siblings and other kids. She's had difficulties with meltdowns in schools, and we were told all sorts of things, especially that it was our fault she was acting that way because of our parenting styles and our divorce etc. We finally received an autism diagnosis at the end of the last school year. I have just begun working with a program that does ABA therapy at home. However, the neuropsych who diagnosed her mentioned ABA therapy in the school. The school (shockingly, lol) states "she doesn't need that" even though they've made no modifications to her IEP since the diagnosis. They insist what they're doing is adequate even though last year every other day was a behavioral crisis where they were calling us exasperated threatening to send her to the pediatric ER as a behavior crisis patient.

Long story short, is ABA therapy an in-home only service? Or is it commonly done in schools? At home, my daughter is honestly my most easily manageable child out of my three (I have two other NT children). It's frustrating to hear where I feel she needs the therapy the most it can't be done.

I honestly don't know the answer to your question, but will color a little around the edges with what I do know.

Our school had no ABA therapies available. It may have been different in the district wide special day class for more severely affected children. The truth is that ABA for my son simply was never indicated and I probably would never have agreed to that route for him regardless (the therapy itself a little controversial on this forum).

Common therapies in our school district were resource, occupational therapy, and speech.

The school's job is to help your child learn. Any therapy not directly connected to that goal would be the responsibility of the family, not the school district. Still, I could see why more extension options than we had would be appropriate for a more severely affected child.

Even if a school does not offer a therapy you wish to provide your child, you may be able to arrange for the therapy during school time and on school property if you take charge of it all privately.

Still, I am not convinced that ABA is what your child needs. Meltdowns are not within a child's control and, thus, they cannot be trained out of them. Mitigating meltdowns is a painstaking process of doing situation autopsies, identifying stress factors and triggers, and learning to divert into self-calming as soon as any warning signs are present. Perhaps ABA has evolved from the descriptions I've read of it, but I've never understood it to be that much of a get-to-know-the-child process. I helped my son learn to avoid meltdowns. I took notes on what was happening in the time leading up to the meltdown and what changes I was seeing in him. I talked to his teachers every day after school to hear the details of issues during the day, and broke each situation down step by step with my son to understand what was going on, and to help him see what his options were better. I discussed all my observations in detail with my son, and taught him to recognize the warning signs. I don't know how someone who wasn't with him day in and day out, aware of where he had been, what he had been exposed to, and what he was experiencing could ever have helped him with that process.

A key IEP element for this process is what I called the escape clause. When my son was feeling overwhelmed or stressed in class, and started to recognize signs he might be heading towards a meltdown, he had permission to leave class NO QUESTIONS ASKED, not even having to alert the teacher, and head to an agreed upon safe place where he could calm himself down. The safe place was set in the IEP meetings and agreed to by all of us, including the teacher. This is an extremely useful IEP item for any child who has issues with meltdowns.

When he was further down the road towards mitigating his own meltdowns, we were able to add notification requirements, etc. But I kept that escape clause in his IEPs into the start of high school, until my son hadn't used it for several years and told me he saw no point keeping it in. If you don't have one, get one.

ASD behavior issues typically aren't really behavior issues, but stress issues, or otherwise directly related to the ASD. My son talking on and on was something they worked on in speech therapy under the label pragmatic speech. In the IEP meeting we agreed to hand signals that could be used so when my son would know when the teacher thought he was out of turn or talking too long. Similarly, there was a signal the teacher could use when he was stimming so much he was disturbing other students. In none of those situations was he ever intentionally misbehaving; he was just him being him and, so, the message wasn't that he wrong, just inappropriate for the time and space. Being gentle in the correction worked. Making sure the environment conforms to his needs worked. Its a very collaborative process, not just a "teach the child X" one.

Hi LuLu. I've been teaching preschoolers who are on the spectrum for 12 years and can say that DW's advice is solid. When she said it's the school's job to help your child learn, she's absolutely right. I'm sorry to hear that your child's school is being so unsupportive. I have to wonder what the extent of their relevant knowledge is!

In my county, not every single school has a self-contained program for kids with ASD or with non-categorical special ed teachers who can apply ABA, so they may have to be bused to another one if the IEP team deems that a self-contained class is needed. However, if your daughter can succeed in a general ed class with some help managing/avoiding meltdowns, then that should absolutely be your goal. The school calling you with threats all the time is inappropriate--especially if they're not willing to consider any alternatives! I suggest you seek out some advice on getting that IEP tweaked; there might be some help available to you via the Autism Society's Autism Source:

http://www.autismsource.org/

Regarding ABA and meltdowns, I'd like to say this: someone with ABA training who can't or won't try to work with a child who's having meltdowns isn't worth their salt. They should be better-equipped than almost anyone else around to analyze the circumstances that may trigger a crisis and figure out ways to prevent them (including any chance for de-escalation), how to cope when they are underway, and how to help your child recover. If they don't want to get to know your child, they should get the eff outta Dodge. Customizing our approaches and seeing the child as a whole person, replete with physical and emotional needs in addition to cognitive ones, are some of the most important things we do.

I hope things get much better for you.

Frankly, neither ABA providers nor schools understands autism. That, is the truth, for most cases. Both can be harmful to your daughter, *if* you are not taking charge. That being said, if you do take the driver seat, you usually can derive good outcome from cooperative teachers and ABA providers. You are the boss: if people don't cooperate with you, you can always change school/provider. It's a free country, as they say. Ha. (The first time my wife and I visited London, we were not sure whether we could cross a street at one place, we politely asked a local, and he shrugged at us and said: "It's a free country, you can do whatever you want!" and crossed the street exactly the way we wanted to. Ha ha.)

Tantrums/meltdowns are the easiest thing for me to deal with. I have never failed once to remove recurring tantrums/meltdowns from my children, permanently. Autistic children are not sick. Their tantrums/meltdowns are sovereign expressions. That's the first thing you need to understand. It's not a medical/psychological issue. It's a communication issue. People that take it as a medical/psychological issue, don't understand autism, at all.

For each new situation, a tantrum/meltdown is perfectly legitimate. People have the right to express their displeasure. What we don't want to see is recurring tantrum/meltdown, for similar situations.

Print out this article and take it to your ABA provider and school teachers. Trust me, I have done that. So gradually the message is spreading.

http://www.eikonabridge.com/fun_and_facts.pdf

The thing is, the negative world inside the autistic brain is totally disconnected from the positive world. Worse of all, the negative world is evanescent. It's virtually impossible for people to recall their negative feelings/experiences when they are happy. So, it becomes the responsibility of parents and teachers to connect children's positive experiences to their negative experiences and vice-versa.

The same applies to anxiety, when your daughter becomes a teenager. It's early, though. In the case of anxiety, because the negativity is so personal and so evanescent, it's better for her to use a voice recorder to connect the two worlds. It's like building a "space-time wormhole tunnel" between the positive world and the negative world. See

http://www.eikonabridge.com/anxiety.pdf

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My recommendation? Don't use ABA in school. You don't have control over them. They tend to cause more harm than good. Those people tend to be extremely hard-headed, they think because they have been trained to deal with autistic children, they are the "experts" in the field. Wrong. They know nothing about autism, and they stop themselves from learning, from acquiring new skills and perspectives.

Work instead with the teachers, and your ABA at home. See, the worse case is you get a bad teacher for a given year, but soon enough you'll run into good teachers. With bad ABA in school, you can be stuck for many years.

Tell teachers and ABA therapists to *NEVER* handle behavior issues with (a) coping techniques, and (b) behavior replacement/substitution. Those are all neurotypical BS. Autistic children need none of that. Read the "Fun and Facts" article, and understand that there is a much simpler way of communicating with these children.

Close, bidirectional communication with teachers is the key. I write e-mail messages to teachers on a regular basis, describing what fun things my children do at home. They would let me know the fun things and negative experiences my children have in school. So, the positivity can be reinforced in school, and the negativity can be removed at home. My son's teacher would always ask him to write essays about his new inventions at home.

Along the years, we've made pretty good friends with some of the teachers. We still see some of them outside school setting, from time to time. Yes, there are good teachers out there.

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses! I admit I am a bit overwhelmed. Every time I feel I come closer to the right answer about what will help her succeed, I'm told to take a different direction. But, it's all good information I will try to digest. Thank you

It might do some good if you read this thread as well.

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=358709&start=33

Neurotypical people are the ones asking for politeness and apologies. But take a look at what they really do in life with their actions:

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=367541

Meanwhile, John McCain's memorial service was attended by 3 ex-presidents and countless number of dignataries. He was praised left and right. Does anybody remember McCain's temper? Or did everyone forget about it?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_and_political_image_of_John_McCain#Temperament

Isn't it funny that this dude is so well respected? (Yes, even Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner were there in the memorial service.) Did McCain's temper get in the way for him to become a US Representative for 2 terms plus a US Senator for 6 terms, until his death?

Plenty of people in the science/technology fields are known for hot temper. But many of the people I have worked with, and admire the most, too have hot temper. (I, in comparison, would be praised as a nice person. I kid you not. The problem with people in this forum is they have seen so little in life. They haven't had the chance to hang around with the top guys.) Guess what? I get along with those people. We joke and laugh together, we have the greatest fun in life. It's a bit like the case of Gell-Mann, Feynman and Susskind. There is nothing you can do about people like Gell-Mann that chooses to look down upon himself and get offended by Feynman's remarks. It's the path of a sad life that they themselves have chosen upon themselves. Meanwhile, Susskind had great fun with the very same Feynman, and joked and laughed as if Feynman were the greatest pal to hang around. Weird, isn't it?

What does this all tell us? This tell us that the evil is on the other side. Unfortunately, those people beleaguered with their shortcomings are the ones that are least willing to learn and most likely to lecture others. They never learn to see why great achievements (remember Steve Jobs? Or Elon Musk, whom was name-called a "man-child" recently? Or Stephen Hawking, well-known for his ego and often called a jerk? Or George Washington, who helped to give us the freedom we enjoy today and set example for so many other countries to follow?) all tend to come great minds with hot temper. Creativity is all about breaking rules. You take away the rule-breaking mindset and you take way the great minds.

We have to come to accept that, hot temper, is actually what makes things happen. We cannot be hypocrites, enjoying the benefits of all the freedom and technology advances today, yet criticizing the very character of those people that has brought all those benefits to us.

Seriously? You actually believe this? Wow. You know NOTHING about my life, yet you feel you can write this about all of us? Complete BS. I believe in what you do with your kids and how that forms much of your advise, but the minute you start pontificating on the rest of world, you are out of your element.

One thing to realize is that the best answer is likely to be a constantly changing process. Nothing is static when raising an ASD child. In the end, YOU know your child, and none of us do, so trust your instincts on what direction to take. You'll know when you have chosen well. When it turns out you haven't, consider it a learning process and use it to form your next decision. This is tough, "pay attention to your child" work. Your child is your guide much more than any of us.

I don't trust ABA, many forms of it are known to be abusive.
Tips;
Make sure you know what is going on.
Make sure they aren't stopping stimming.
Make sure they aren't forcing eye contact.
Make sure your child isn't being made to do something she is uncomfortable with.
Make sure your child is getting breaks whenever she needs them.
Find one that views autism in a positive light.
Make sure your child will not be restrained.
Your child should be included in it, and even be enjoying it if the person doing it is any good. If the kid seems unhappy, or is crying after it, stop.

I see it as too risky a thing to bother with, other forms of therapy, like OT, play therapy, Art therapy, a therapist that specializes in autistic kids, and others can be better.

^ Just for the record, my coworkers and I don't engage in anything like that. We've heard horror stories about it, though, and yes, it is wise to make sure none of that is going on with anyone teaching your child. To clarify, our students get lots of time to play throughout the day--even if "play" for them means hanging out on their own on the playground or rolling cars back and forth numerous times. We're not there to run them through drill after drill like soldiers or robots--ever! I can't stand the mindset that some people have about trying to re-make children into someone (or worse, something) they're not.