Asperger's Symptoms

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Hello! I just joined this group trying to find information for myself and three of my kids. It seems like most disorders are comorbid and overlap so it is hard to find a diagnosis. In addition, most people think if you have eye contact or communication skills you are neurotypical. Aspergers is no longer a term as they say. According to Tony Attwood and his seminard and videos, I feel like me and my kids may have Aspergers, but they keep saying DMDD for my 7 year old, ADHD with ODD, and the other, nothing yet.

My 7 year old is a bit odd and is different to me. Now, her quirkiness is beautiful and she is so smart and I enjoy talking to her better than other kids her age. I had to homeschool her because she would elope from class in TK/Kinder, not participate, RARELY play, manipulate school by acting out pretty bad and being sent home. Her attitudes are like ugh... talk about a 7 year old with a teenager mouth. But she us verbatim.. if I say put away bike.. it's not a bike, it's a bicycle. If I say take a nap in car... there's no bed, I can't. It seems like a smart mouth, but I don't think it is. Her face is like a "resting face", she licks her hands because they are "dry" she says, but she is always sweaty and clammy. She regresses in baby talk to be cute or when shy or happy.. but there are days she just wakes up pist! Or irritable rather.. her Calico critters she sets up to play with but never does.. she just sets the stage.. but with her sister she plays with toys.. I need some advice.. I keep getting ODD or DMDD and I disagree.

Welcome to wrong planet! I'm not a professional but here's some of my experiences which might be similar to hers:

It's very common for disorders to overlap. Other disorders like social anxiety, depression, and anxiety, common in people without Asperger's, are more likely to appear due to the person being easily misunderstood and isolated. People with AS can be lonely but either don't realize it or don't know how to fix it.

The main thing many people miss about having AS is difficulty with emotional connections with others, despite the individual attempting to make connections multiple times and getting frustrated because they are unable to. When I was younger I was difficult with someone close to me because I was lacking a huge set of skills necessary to communicate like other people. This is often misdiagnosed but the difference is it's still possible to communicate with someone with AS if done in a certain way. People with AS can create a logical framework to view the world, sometimes even more clearly than someone without AS.

Being angry can also be caused by sensory overload. This happens to everyone but there's less ability for someone with an autistic spectrum disorder to process information. This is everything like sensory input, emotions, social cues, ideas, etc. Even your immediate surroundings can have a profound effect on mental functioning and take energy away from communicating properly.

Hi!
All these clusters of letters are just expressions of modern psychiatry's inability to do anything about it... so I wouldn't really much care for them.
Yes, your 7yo shows some sensory issues (feeling of dry hands) and literal understanding of words that are characteristic to Asperger's syndrome.
Asperger's syndrome did not cease to exist, it has been merged into Autism Spectrum in current diagnostic standard in US. We could see it as a "mild" subtype of autism, characterized by relatively "normal" speech learning.

What can be done? Communication - whatever works is good. And acceptance while keeping healthy boundaries. It's a basic thing for any child but it seems to be less obvious when the child is autistic. She may have been eloping from kintergarten because of enormous discomfort she was feeling there. Her outbrusts causing DMDD diagnosis may be caused by discomfort, too. So it is important to learn what is comfortable and what is uncomfortable for her. Does she like routine? A lot of autistic people feel comfortable when their environment is predictable and they often freak out on disruptions.
Every child is unique so - experiment and learn.

Since this is your first post, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I would recommend that you trust your perceptions. It almost sounded like you identified yourself as an Aspie. If that is the case you have a great deal of insight into this condition than any NT.

One of the members on this site is Jason Lu. He is an Aspie and has two children that are Aspies. One is a picture thinker and the other a video thinker. He wrote a book that describes his unique perception of training his children. His book is named Eikona Bridge. I feel his approach is accurate.

Here is a sort of introduction to Aspergers that might be helpful. It is a free pdf booklet;

http://christianpioneer.com/blogarchiev ... e_2017.pdf

You want to be careful not to get too sidelined with labels and categorizations. It can be more helpful to focus on understanding the challenges and learning management skills.