working with my son on social issues

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After reading KimJ's post about social stories (I think that's an awesome thing, btw) I got to thinking about all the social nuances that my ds probably doesn't understand and I never realized it.

He's away on vaca with Grandma this week, but when he gets back, I'm considering a couple of ideas to work with him.

I was told role playing is good. Then I thought of another type of thing. I thought about finding a statement that can be interpreted in many ways depending on the tone of voice and working with him on that. Saying the statement and having him guess the mood. He has trouble with emotions, and he has trouble with taking things literally.

For example, "That's great!" would be the statement. Depending on tone of voice, and facial expression, that could be a positive statement or negative.

What do you think? To complex for a start? I'm still working on social story ideas as well.

i think role playing can be helpful, if the child is able to do that. It had even been expounded to drama classes that give scripted roles to learn appropriate behavior, something i want to do where i live.

Modeling is what i've used the most, and at 12, my dd is very verbal, very aware of what emotions are which and how to tell me, and quite a compassionate little person. All it requires is a constant exagerration of emotions and responses by you, with you speaking for your child, and having them parrot it back. It is tedious, and it feels like talking to yourself, but it works. It also requires you to be willing to hurt in front of your child and tell them what is going on, and let them know you expect them to do in the situation of you hurting.

Example: Normally, if a mom cuts herself, she deals with it on her own. No one in the family will ever know. But, people on the spectrum benefit greatly from real experience. So, if you cut yourself, act. Act like you are hurting and need help. Elicit help from the child, by asking for bandaids, rags, whatever the child would actually go get. Ask for touch, hugs, comfort, and model how they should give it by giving it back to them.

There is a part of the brain in children that wants to be included, and it isnt gone just because they are on the spectrum. It is a very powerful force, being included in the adult world, depended on a little bit. It really can open up an awareness outside of self.
I am chronically ill, and had natural opportunities come up, but you can always create a moment for sharing emotion. I always exagerrated a little bit, because Barney did, and she responded to everything he did, lol. She can be upstairs now, and if she hears me holler she will call down "are you ok?", lol....her brother too, unless he is in a game. She is my most supportive person.

tyger

There are some good children's cartoon books on eBay (and elsewhere, I'm sure). The idea is that the cartoons play out emotions, sort of like this -

1. I don't smile at my friend.

2. My friend feels sad because etc.

3. I could go back and say Hi and smile.

4. Now my friend is happy and so am I.

Once the child has the general idea, they suggest having him make his own cartoons for his own situations, and working them out with the parents that way.

EDIT: When I clicked this on the main page I didnt realize it took me to parents board. Sincerest apologies.

I do not know If I can be of help, but I will describe how my mama taught me how understanding "Thats Great" Has about 17 different meanings. She said that if someone was typically being sarcastic they would say it slower and annunciate and emphasize great more. And even though it may seem embarassing to him at first. You can tell him it will be easier for him to pick up different meanings by asking them how they mean it if he cant tell right away. I am 15 and still do that to this day. If his situation is anything like mine alot of people will look at him like he is weird but there will be alot more people who will answer him.

EDIT: When I clicked this on the main page I didnt realize it took me to parents board. Sincerest apologies.

No need to apologize- I am finding that a lot of the best answers are from those that actually experience the issues I'm talking about! So, thank you for helping! I will suggest that to ds.

Claradoon, thanks for the explanation on social stories!

Tygereyes- thanks for your idea too- I will use that- because he definately has issues with showing empathy. I think he gets confused when/if he hurts someone as to what emotion he's supposed to display. I've noticed that when he gets rough with one of his twin brothers and makes them cry, he looks bewildered/confused, and then gets angry.

Thats quite common.. in fact to this day I still get a bit confused for a moment if someone starts crying and I wasn't expecting it.. used to make me angry as well.. I considered it their fault I had become confused and stressed and it made me not like them very much at the time. I couldn't cry with them I could apologize if it was my fault but otherwise I had no idea what to say or do I just wanted them to stop and considered it selfish of them to make me so confused and uncertain just because they wanted to make themselves feel better or manipulate me into comforting them somehow.

That might work for kids but with teenagers and adults, they might not be so easily pacified if they think they were ignored.

This is my son to a t right now. Whenever someone cries (who isn't kidding around - we'll "cry" for him, and he laughs), he gets mad and tells them "no crying." Of course, that doesn't help much. I think he just doesn't understand why other people do it. He has specific reasons for crying, and if he doesn't know why they are, it upsets him.

Kate

I was so like that when I was a kid and had younger siblings. Even now, I get annoyed when kids seem to cry for no reason.