Post an annoymous letter- to your parents.

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Don't be afraid to speak about your inner most thoughts, no naming or shaming though. Just say how you feel and express the way you feel you've been treated.

Here's mine.

Dear Mum and Dad,
Firstly and whole heartily i just want to say thank you for all that you've done for me, for providing me with the stability of a roof over my head, food and water and clothing and for all the times you've given me a lift. I'll forever appreciate it and i'm grateful and thankful.
I'm just sorry that i cannot be the daughter that you'll wanted me to be, i've never committed any crimes, never taken drugs, hurt anyone or damaged peoples things. I don't go out much as well due to anxiety and depression and have always hated places such as pubs and clubs. For many years now, you've been on about wanting me to move out and now it's come to this! just because all i did was speak to a man online. Unlike one of my brothers, he's been making himself sick and gone off the rails and my younger brother can be obnoxious and easily angry at the slightest thing. Dad is aggressive and is a narcissist and has anger issues and can be highly critical and rude towards me and he'll end up having a heart attack one of these days if he doesn't control it. Mum you're just as bad for cowering to him and supporting him, especially since you've witnessed the way he's treated me throughout my life and you're willing to deny it. You're doing exactly what your mum did. Also you keep going on about your dad and how he was after young girls and mistreated you but that isnt relevant to my life nor to me. I didn't have much to do with your parents and i'm a women that is 28 years old, not a girl so theirs a difference. You keep saying i'm doing this to hurt you when talking to a man i met online isn't hurting anyone at all and not a reflection on any of you. I dont like it when you're all interrogating me, berating me, overbearing, criticising, controlling, intrusive. Being helicopter parents. It makes me feel aggravated and on constant edge. You've got no right to take away or use my phone or laptop, i've paid for my laptop and i'm an adult of 28 years old and i have human rights, what you did was theft. You keep giving me ultimatums all the time. I've forgiven my dad numerous times, despite no apologises and yes he has been physically abusive in the past and violent and you've witnessed it and supported him so you're just as horrible mum. Never happened to my brothers but always to me. I'm ashamed of you all and i'm bitter and resent you all for the way i've been treated. I've never got an explanation, never an apology and i've suppressed and put up with so much throughout my life! well enough!

I would like what none of you can give me, a romantic, mutual and reciprocal relationship with a man that i connect with, you can't fake a connection with someone its either there or it isn't. I would like you all to be supportive then to mock me or take the mick, just because one bloke i spoke too is older. It's not that uncommon and theirs worse things in the world.I understand the worries and concerns about terrorism, online grooming and extremism but you cannot assume that everyone is like that, nor say they're muslim when they've said even before i've met them and broadcasted that they're jewish. I'm always talk down too or shouted at or ridiculed if i get things wrong by misinterpretation or if i drop things but i can't help the way i am. When i was 26 years old and self harmed once, you all did nothing except for dad having a go at me, never helped nor supported me. i've always felt unloved and only cared for out of convenience. Never emotionally supported or loved. A runt of the litter, the scapegoat the joke. The isolated one. You've taken care of my safety and looked after me but i've never felt loved nor wanted or accepted. In your eyes i can never do right, even if i comply and do what you'll wanted and i'm unhappy as a result. I was reluctant to tell you about my youtube channel incase you force me to delete it or did anything to upset me. You say i don't go anywhere but i'm reliant on lifts, you'll get funny about taking me certain places if it's in the evening or don't like the place.I wont be able to afford to get myself anywhere and have no car once i'm out. You've stopped taking me to places now just because i'm in contact with a man that i get on with online as a form of punishment, like i'm being grounded. I'm not a kid. That is embarrassing. I've had enough! Someday we'll have to cut ties as a result. I wish you all the very best for the future.
Love from
Your daughter.

my mom can sniff out whether the cash was from the bottom of a stash from in a box, and thinks New York is the capital of America.

I'm editing this because I can't delete the original post, that I posted as a mistake. I was angry at the time and I didn't mean to put what I did. I shouldn't of aired out my dirty laundry and slag my family off, it was wrong of me and i'm truly sorry for the upset I've caused. My parents haven't abused me. What I said was out of anger.

P.S how do I delete posts for future references?

I hate to tell you this but unless Alex has had a change of heart over the last few years and changed the programming, there is no way to delete. Deletions make threads hard to follow.

I'm really sorry you are having issues with your parents. As a parent, I can say it's hard to get everything right; I really regret all the mistakes I've made. It's hard to know as things are happening what the right call is; sometimes I don't realize it was wrong until years later. Parent's are human. Keep trying to figure out how to communicate effectively with them, and hope they will do the same.

sorrowfairiewhisper, I don't think you did anything wrong and sometimes it's good to let such feelings out, especially if you have no one to talk them over with in real life.

Maybe you could find more help in this thread?
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=375605

But if you want the whole thing deleted, try to contact one of the moderators, some of them are willing to help with removing posts containing personal information you feel might make you vulnerable. You find the active mod list here:
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=237032#p5539144

I grew up in a home where my parents might have been seen as yuppies of the 1940s. In retrospect I can see where their unrealistic ideas of family life led them to frustrated encounters with each other and then with me as an Aspergers child.

They unfortunately turned to alcohol as a way of coping which only aggravated their frustration and despair. As I now approach my 70s, I can look back at them and see only sadness for people who really had no chance in life given their own families, church, and education (both college graduates).

I am grateful that I have found a path of useful Christianity in spite of churches, avoided the corrupt values one acquires in college, found a loving wife, and raised a family where our children (even with Aspergers) have a shot at a happy stable life.

I may have been beaten and abused, but I cannot harbor resentment against my parents who themselves were led into dysfunction by having been raised to trust in institutions, social conventions, and family traditions that failed them so miserably.

Thank you all for your replies! I'm sorry it's several months late my response!

It's true that parents dont get it right always and they're conditioned a certain way due to there own upbringings and it's a vicious circle and I need to remember that. What I put in my post, I put in a vlog and paid the price, I wanted to vent but I got in trouble for it. I shouldn't of aired out my life. I just wanted to vent and felt injustice and very wronged.

Thanks for the advice. I was hoping of deleting my profile altogether if I can't a few post but I can't even do that so have to make do with editing.

I have co dependency issues and being vulnerable doesn't help. I know that sometimes what family members deflect onto us is a reflection of themselves. I just don't want it to affect me or be conditioned and end up being like this myself. I felt like I was very controlled, suffocated and it made me feel anxious, depressed and I had no one to talk too or turn to, had months of isolation and loneliness and if you're depressed, it makes it ten times worse. I know there actions is out of protectiveness and fear but helicopter parents or being told damaging things leave scars. I get told not to bottle things up and yet when I try to express myself get shunned for it like I don't matter. Thank you all for your kindness and replies.

Thank you all once again. Like you said BenderRodriguez it's good to talk, especially when you feel alone and have no one in real life to talk too. I feel so alone. My gran died a month ago, had issues with a painful cyst in June, had a bad time and suffering currently with a broken heart and betrayal and my life destroyed by others.

I feel so angry, hurt, resentment and yet silently screaming and breaking inside and my heart hurts.

If it wasn't for this outlet, I dont know what i'd do.

I'm very sorry about your gran and to hear you had further troubles.

Your OP worries me as it suggests things that go way beyond... "all parents make a few mistakes". And codependency can be a very dangerous thing.

If you feel your identity has been compromised and you don't feel safe posting here anymore, I strongly suggest you contact a moderator through PM, explain your concerns and situation and ask them to ban this account and allow you to open another.

Another suggestion: if you want to talk more about it in the future, post in the Haven subforum: you'll there find a small number of very knowledgeable and supportive regulars who either went or still go through difficult or abusive relationships with their family.

You're not alone, this is sadly very common here.

Thank you Bender.
The authorities are actually aware of the situation, i've even seen the things that my family have sent during the meetings in regards to me via my account. It's on police report. My parents confirmed too that they did take away my devices for the duration of Feb- until 5th Nov 2019.
I find it a struggle to mix in life as i'm an introvert but I cant form any friendships or relationships because my family meddle and cause trouble. They dont have friends themselves or get on with there families. Even my brother is a right trouble maker and offends people by being discriminatory. I hope someday I have my own family and i'm that fed up with the way my family have treated me, i'm even willing to cut all ties with them.

(Edited)

Speaking of identity, I got a new iPhone 6 and for some reason its disabled, I can't get it fixed and I dont want to ask family for help incase they do more than just tamper with it. Thank you, I will try and ask Alex if he could deleted my profile, I can't even change the username on here but the password been changed. You're right, it isn't a normal situation. I didn't know about the Haven subforum thank you for the suggestion.You've been very helpful. Hope you're well

From Feb 21st until the Nov 6th 2019 I was without my devices. My parents hacked and posed as me whilst they had my devices. I did not type what I quote the above.

Edit. I won't go into detail but the social and the police are aware of my family activity online and traced there ip address. I cannot say more for legal reasons but yes I did NOT type the thing I quoted. Even though it says it's from me.