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Let's see A is 7, very smart, down on himself and pretends to be "dumb". Z is 10,dx of Asperger's and ADHD with some visual-motor integration problems and some sensory issues with bright lights and loud noises. He goes through peiods when he "just can't do anything right, I just won't ever eat again til I die. it's all my fault, I'm no good. etc." Is this the kind of down on himself you are talking about? If so try to find out what is triggering this reaction. For example, did something happen at school, what happened, what caused it to happen, were you touched, teased, disciplined by the teacher or was there a change inroutine and you over-reacted. These are simple questions but be prepared for "I don't know, I don't want to talk about it, just leave me alone" and similar seemingly evasive responces. Be patient and willing to allow breaks, he may be processing the situation or he may not actually know what caused the problem. You will have to be the detective and pull the information out of him, not always an easy task. Once you've found out the cause you can begin to correct the problem by helping him recognise when a similar situation arises and suggesting alternative solutions or responses. Use his strengths to overcome his weaknesses, play to his ego, You are very smart and need to use your brain to help you understand what is happening, you can do this." Don't accept failure but understand that this may be a long process and expect both steps forward and slips backwards. Praise his successes and encourage more acceptable reactions "the next time" when he doesn't attain his goals.

Ster is right it does sound like gepression, remember depression in children does not present itself the same way it does in adults. It will take a Psychiatrist or Psychologist to give a definite dx though. All kids go through some depression and it is normal, try to work through it before going with meds.

Your description of A sounds very much like Asperger's. Sounds like you are "on the right track". Z has definite volume control issues, he can whisper for about 2 seconds max. In fact this is one of his IEP goals this coming year in school. We'll see how that turns out.

Hang in there MomofAlex, it may be a bumpy ride but it will be an interesting one.
Keep in touch.

definitely try teaching coping skills before resorting to meds~ not that i'm against meds...i just feel coping skills would help him tremendously...............you need to somehow find out, though, what specifically it is that's causing him to feel down on himself. son had some difficulty adjusting once he learned about his dx. he was concerned that people would treat him incredibly differently once they found out.

Thanks so much for the insight. I think I do need to keep an eye on him for depression, especially as he begins to realize he doesn't process everything "just like everyone else". I don't want to make him think there's something "wrong" with him. I just want to help him get some coping skills.
Corsarzs: Z's comments sound very familiar.

hello mom of Alex
my son is 8 and although he has had issues since birth it is still hard to deal with , not his behaviour but other peoples perceptions of it and the expectations of how he should behave . I am thankfull he is much more laid back than i am , we are quite different in most respects . My son is a happy kid however he does have periods where he says he cant do this or that , hes also become aware of how others see him as different and thats been very upsetting to him.
i think they can have lightbulb moments, if what is wanted is explained to them in practical terms . For example my son constantly grabs people for cuddles in quite a forcefull way and often at times where it could be dangerous ie when hubby is taking a roast out of the oven. Ive tried to moderate this with explanations on how if he makes someone jump they may drop something or he could cause someone to trip over , there would be no point trying to explain it to him in terms of it being socially inappropriate or that hes invading other peoples space. At the moment its his stimming thats a primary issue , it seems to be getting worse as he has got older.

The stimming could be getting worse if more demands are being made on your son eg. harder work at school or being expected to act grown up.