My daughter and a job

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My daughter has been diagnosed with Asperger's late to the game. She is almost 19. She had a job during the holidays as a cashier at Michael's but after the holiday rush she was let go. She is looking for a new job. I think the grocery store near us would be a good fit.

Now my question....Should I talk to the hiring manager in advance to give them the scoop?

It would probably be a mistake to mention anything. The likely negatives are;

1. You might be seen as an intrusive parent that would make her seem an employee with "baggage".
2. You might make your daughter seem like she is requesting special treatment.
3. Since people generally do not understand the labels, you might generate a reaction of alarm rather than understanding.

A grocery store is a small universe. A new (especially young) employee would be assigned the easiest work (such as stocking shelves). The fact that she has worked as a cashier already would indicate that she will probably move up to that position quickly.

I would suggest that you keep a watchful eye on your daughter to see if she has any stress or encounters any problems that she feels she cannot resolve on her own. Given her previous experience, it sounds like she will do fine.

Larger grocery stores may keep people working under 40 hours so that they don't have to pay benefits. Also the newer employees are often assigned variations in their shifts which can make planning difficult.

Thanks for all that.

I think it's for your daughter to decide.
I've always been very open with my autism, even before the diagnosis I told my boss and closest coleague about it.
But that's me, others may not want other to know.

/Mats

Thanks for the input.

A definite no ... only because I took pride in gaining employment from the age of 16, on my own and paying my own way through education. I was mute for many years when younger. Even my youngest son, severely effected when younger, had taken great pride in gaining employment and entry to University, by his own stead. It teaches so many things, I can’t even begin ...

I do understand where you’re coming from. You sound a very caring father. I would like to hope your daughter will truly surprise you in what she may achieve. My daughter(AS) blew me away with both determination and achievement.

I think that you should let her find employment on her own.

I wouldn’t mention her autism at all.

I feel like a cashier job could be a poor fit for an autistic person. Of course this depends on the individual, but I know for me even shopping in a grocery store is overloading, so I'd be miserable as a cashier, and interacting with customers can be a challenge, too.

If you think her autism is a big part of why she was let go, it might be worth suggesting other job opportunities that are less likely to have the same problems.

I'm with those who say you should stay out of it. At her age it is important for her to test her own limits and discover what her own talents and difficulties are. You can counsel her to bring up her diagnosis if situations appear to be arising where the knowledge would be helpful to all, but as an adult it should be her choice. She has already had success with a job so there is no reason to believe she can't be successful on her own in employment at this level. If she had never had success despite multiple efforts it might be a different story, but she has.

Just keep an eye on things in case you start to see issues she may need help with in order to achieve long term work success.

With my son I am finding the leap from "student" type jobs to career jobs to be a barrier. In his field, it is often necessary to apply for hundreds of jobs and work contacts in order to get a solid, entry level career job. This is proving to be a process he doesn't have in him. He still has a student job that he does very well in and likes, but as student job they keep him under 30 hours a week so he has no access to benefits. At some point he has to transition in order to have the adult life he eventually wants. That is what I'm finding hard. We cannot and should not do it for him, it wouldn't be a good look for a career job for a parent to get involved, but he is getting so frustrated about it and starting to mentally settle, to assume a life forever at this lower level of employment. I'm trying to talk him into finding a counselor that can help him cross these new barriers; how to handle them seems to be beyond our ability as parents. I may eventually start finding counseling contacts for him, but it still has to be his decision.

I know some companies have special programs and policies for hiring people with special needs. She'll get more protection if you go that route. I've tried disclosing and not doing so, and it's been tough. You need a kind, understanding, open-minded employer. And, she needs to be able to handle the job and the work environment. She needs to fit in and get along.

If your gut intuition tells you to do it, I think it's fine. Autistic females are a special kind of vulnerable and their AS presents differently (sometimes too talkative and open and trusting.) It's not like they care who they hire for cashier jobs, as long as you don't lose money or steal or scare away customers. Having a young girl is always good for marketing in the front of the store. They hire almost anyone for these jobs, they won't care if a parent talks, especially it's still teenage age, it might actually be a plus as it shows the person is from a good family. It's also like giving a recommendation and usually having someone recommend you for a job is also a plus. So I say do it.