What can I do to help my son?

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Hello dear members, I am the mother of a 5 year old boy who is non verbal, but communicates perfectly with me by writing. Today, I asked my son why he doesn’t speak, and he answered that he was afraid that once he speaks he will go to school. I reassured him that he won’t, but I feel he doesn’t trust me since his brothers go to school. He used to go, but I decided to homeschool him since they kept underestimating him and he progressed very well with me. Is there anything I can do that will change his mind? He hates school, finds all ( work boring), and he is very happy with this arrangement. I don’t mind homeschooling him but I wish he will start to use his voice. Any ideas are highly appreciated

You might try taking him to a homeschool group and let him see other children who speak that might help reassure him that speaking is not a one way trip to the school gulag.

You might help him learn tactics that if he were to find himself in school that would help him get out. Selective mutism, feigning a disability, tatrums, etc.

You might find ways to get him to use his voice besides speech such as singing or even humming.

You might have a game where he could speak to only you when you asked a question. He could answer "cat" for yes and "dog" for no.

Show him a video of homeschooling.

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Children's books about homeschooling might help. For example, there's a list of books here. It seems like it'd really help to give him lots of evidence that there are homeschooled kids who talk.

Another thing you could do is have a family meeting with all three kids where you ask them what they like and dislike about their schooling situation, and ask his brothers outright if they prefer going to school or would rather be homeschooled. Although I'd only recommend doing this if you'd be alright with homeschooling your other sons if they say they'd prefer that!

I'm impressed that a 5 year old can communicate at such a high level in writing.

Does he have the opportunity to play with his voice when no one is around to hear him? A place he can feel safe?

I think I would assume he hears and integrates every conversation you have in the household and, as such, you should be careful that you provide a consistent message. Be careful that the speech difference is never mentioned by you or by the siblings as the reason they have "regular" school and he does not. When anyone mentions the homeschooling, talk about it as something permanent, not temporary. And so on.

Sometimes when it is dark outside and the moon is full, I will take the young ones into the dark and then I will begin howling at the moon, and before you know it, the young ones begin to join in and we become like a pack of wolves, howling at the moon. And then the children begin to laugh because they never howled at the moon before and didn’t even realize how much fun it could be. Maybe it is my way of saying I am not afraid of the dark or of all the wild beasties that lurk there. Howling gives me great energy and makes me fearless, master of the unknown. I feel this is a quintessential characteristic that must be passed down to the little ones.

I would try to get some professional assistance. There's a lot of research out there on verbal communication, and I'm sure you can get information on how and when he'll progress with speech.