does anyone homeschool AS/HFA kids vs. normal school?

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My son's pediatrician, among others, continue to tell me that I should send him to school to "socialize". He is very friendly with most people we know, although I do have to say, he needs a bit of work on the "personal space" issue. He is considerate and shares toys, etc.

Currently we homeschool because the public school system where we live is horrendous. Private schools would mean leaving the house at around 6AM every day, to be in school by 8 or so. In addition, they cost about 8K a month...which we cannot afford. We do have neighbors who are well connected and have told us they will make the public school system pay for it if we wanted it to send him to private school and that they would help us get him into one. However, because most private schools here also are SO competitive and we also had a horrible experience with a school last year with our son, we are just terrified of placing him in yet another school...and think that he is doing just fine with homeschooling.

The doctors all tell us he is academically advanced, but still believe in traditional schools vs. homeschooling...not just for our child actually, they think ALL children should be going to traditional schools.

Anyway, is anyone homeschooling their HFA/AS child? If so, do you think that has worked better than the traditional school?
He does go to speech therapy, which we pay privately (not covered by insurance or the school system).

I've been homeschooled. I must say it is better, but only if you give your kids attention; you may feel like a walking-talking encyclopedia, but your son will be better for it. Most of the Elementary subjects you could either teach yourself or use a curriculum like Alpha Omega or Abeka. For High school I recommend Saxon for math, Apologia for science, Streams of Civilization for history, and Bob Jones for English. Those were at least what I took. Hope this helps.

Ben

I homeschool my 10 year old son. He went to public school for 4 years and I pulled him out after 3rd grade. Most professionals we have encountered are pro-school - I ignore them. IMHO ignore your pediatrician - the "socialization" they speak of was non -existent for my son. How does he learn to socialize on the playground when all he wants to do is walk the perimeter the entire period? He was too stressed out, confused or maybe scared of the myriad of bullies that made it their life's mission to make my son (and other kids too) miserable. My son was in the gifted program and had no academic problems so the school did not know what to do with him - he could not get an aide he was way too high functioning. I after endless, pointless meetings saw no hope in him ever having a happy experience at school.

I think he is doing really well homeschooling. We have met other homeschoolers and have had a chance to socialize with them - but it is on terms that my son can handle and I am able to help him. He got none of that in school.

I could go on about this subject forever. You know your child better than your doctor right? You know in your gut what works and what doesn't - stick with it. Doctors don't know everything and guess what..they can be wrong. My son's group therapist is not pro-homeschooling but he sees my son for 1 hour a week I live with him 24/7 -who's the expert?

I think homeschooling is a lifesaving alternative for kids like ours. Well meaning, but ignorant people always want to have a say in how our kids are being raised and yet they have never actually lived with a child on the spectrum - who knows more - them or you?

Ignore your doctor's objection to homeschooling - he/she sounds very old-fashioned!

And you can socialise your child without having to go to school. I have a couple of friends who homeschool their NT children - they have regular meet ups with other homeschooling parents.

My 2 sons with AS (9 year old and 7 year old) go to school 4 days/week only - 5 days/week is too much for them.

I anticipate highschool may be difficult for them so am open-minded about what type of schooling they will have them.

Fortunately in Australia the education system seems to be 'fairly' flexible. The school my kids go to are quite happy for them to attend only 4 days/week. Maybe when they're at highschool we can negotiate something flexible eg 3 days/week at school and the rest at home.

Regards
Helen

I homeschooled for a quarter when the district was refusing to help us. My son loves social interaction, though, and currently is in a really great school.

Doctors go to med school, not teacher college. They are there to Rx and Dx, not coach you on parenting.

I agree with everything rachel46 said. There are more and more secular home-schooling groups/clubs. They sometimes pool for PE teachers. I was going to join one if I had kept my son longer. Check city classes. They also host homeschool programs (swimming).

Thanks so much for all your feedback. I do believe he does much better, although he does sometimes ask for school. However, his first school was a Sudbury, so his view of school is a bit distorted...he thinks he will just go play, when that's just not the case. In addition, even in that environment, the kids were very cruel to him and so was at least one teacher, who was eventually fired.

Anyway, interesting our neighbors daughter who is 15 and in 12th grade has been begging them to homeschool her, and after seeing the results of our son, they have actually agreed to do it now...she is loving it, as she finishes the curriculum very quickly and is not made to be waiting for others.

Thanks again for your kind words of encouragement, and yes, I do believe it is best for him as well.

Had we not found an Autism Support class for my son, I would have homeschooled him. There was no way he could have handled the mainstream classroom, even with suppport.

If you feel homeschooling is best for your child then do it, no one knows them better than you. You just have to make a point of providing socialization as a part of the curriculum. Let us know what you decide.

I actually do homeschool him. Last year, when this whole "he might have autism" issue started, and we had been worried about his speech, through much thought, we found a school which we thought would be good for him. It was a small school, with lots of open space and an unschooling/homeschooling type philosophy. They claimed they accepted all kids, ADHD, etc...and knew his speech was delayed after meeting him numerous times. The first week was wonderful for him...we were thrilled...he loved it...even at night he'd put his school clothes on to go to school...the second week, he panicked after picking him up one day...after that, almost two weeks he continuosly screamed and cried when we took him...I was allowed to stay with him for a while, we tried it all...I talked to the director/the teachers...everyone stated that he must just miss me...I wasn't too sure...Finally, after almost 3 weeks, the director calls me and my husband and tell us that there was an "incident" that he had a pencil outside...but did not go into details and also another "incident" that he took someone else's water bottle (he's 5 and kids ate at different times, everyone had access to the fridge, etc...) and because of his delayed speech, they had a meeting and decided he should no longer attend...and that by the way, the teach with the incident had been LET GO! My heart dropped! We attempted to question them, but of course, no info came out of them as to what happened...our kiddo obviously could not tell us, which is what brought us to homeschooling. He became terrified of even staying with my mother (a kid who normally will go with anyone and not miss me or daddy one bit).

So at least until he can speak and communicate fully with us, he will be homeschooled...after that, we might see what he wants...but until then, we will not take any chances and he is learning very well in this environment.

Thanks again for your info/support.

J's father and I have been battling about homeschooling for over two years now. I can't legally take J out of school without his permission.
The thing to remember is that the "socialization" everyone spouts about homeschoolers is flawed to begin with, let alone with an AS child. The concept they're referring to is one of watching, recognizing, internalizing, and emulating. Not exactly our AS kids' fortes! They depend more on actual teaching of skills, social stories, repetitious practice, and basically building their own brain connections, vs. the automatic path of NTs. And when they DO manage to make a few "socialization" connections independently, they're usually the ones you don't want them to pick up on!
After all the research I've done on homeschooling and AS, dh and I have decided that it's best for even our NTs. We'll be homeschooling our kindergartener this year, and I'm not giving up the fight for ds!

I will speak as someone who attended a small private school until 6th grade and was home schooled from 6th grade.
I never did much socializing when I attended the private school. Recess was mostly wandering the playground, sitting in an evergreen bush, swinging on the swing set, and an occasional game of football. I never wanted to go over to a classmates house or anything like that. I did play with my next door neighbor pretty regularily when I was really little.

So the transition to homeschooling did not have much of an impact on my socializing except for reducing the opportunities to more set and defined periods. We had joined a group of home schoolers who met regularly for enrichment activities. This ranged from field trips to zoos and museums to art classes, music classes, cooking and other home ec classes. I also joined the group's chess club, bowling club and a basketball team that played nearby private schools.
So there were still plenty of opportunities to socialize, but the thought of actually socializing just never really entered my head. All I was interested in was the activity itself. Maybe if I knew what I know now I would have used those opportunities to work on my social skills, so I think knowing the problem and how to work on it would have been the difference in my younger life, not whether I went to a public or private school or was home schooled.
I did make long lasting friends with a family I met in the home schooling group. We have known each other for about 15 years now and still get together.

So while I wonder from time to time what I might have missed going to school I think what I gained in that friendship more than made up for it.

The pediatrician is partially right. Interaction with peers is essential for the psychological health of children. Normal children.

Its quite the opposite for people on the AS spectrum though. For their psychological health they require isolation and to be allowed to request socialization rather than being thrust into such situations.

Normal children need to be around others to learn socialization skills but the autistic mind needs more structure to the lesson and its something that has to be actually taught and discussed at length.

While for normal children public schools might be ideal the opposite applies to autistic ones.

Public schools always cause more trauma and psychological damage than they are worth.

Thanks for all the suggestions/support. My son attended a school when he was about 3, and he was always alone there...He cried every single day...He was left alone the entire time and that's how he spent his day. Then at 5, I again put him in a school, and although he only attended about a week or two, everytime I went to pick him up, he was alone...Once he was on top of the hood of a car (it was a teacher's car in the school, the school was up on a mountain, so you could see the city...) and he had been sitting there for more than an hour all by himself, just staring at the city, skies, mountains...The teachers also kept telling me that they didn't LIKE that he wouldn't play with other kids...mind you again, he took toys to school (they were allowed) and he shared them with others and never complained...So, I think for now, I will continue my homeschooling.