A Mother Despairs Because Her Son Feels Entitled

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A Mother Despairs Because Her Son Feels Entitled

https://kathleenpennellsposts.quora.com ... s-Entitled

I would like to discuss this article. In this article from Quora, the mother is upset and complains that her son is a bit entitled. And the son probably does feel entitled, but I have to ask where does this feeling of entitlement come from? How did it develop? And, the truth is no one asks these questions or thinks this through.

Based upon what the mother said it seems like everything was fine until the son reached 13. So, what happened and what changed. It was puberty in which part of that is the inordinate desire to belong and to feel accepted and what the typical teen has to do to be accepted by his peers. The social capital that and the things one must do as a teen at school to be accepted by their peers is the problem here.

Part of this social capital that seems to be required by a teen’s peers for acceptance is to have the latest name brand clothes, the latest phone and other things. Where did this social capital come from? It was when adults decided at a certain point in time to have children socialized by other children instead of adults who were older and wiser than them. In other words, it is this very philosophy that gave this child his entitlement issues that was designed by adults and other so called experts that is questionable in nature.

Did this mother ever question the circumstances her 13-year son is working under? Do most parents ever question these expert’s philosophies and their own philosophies to determine if they’re working or not? Is socialization by other children instead of adults truthfully a good idea? Is this one example of where maybe it is not a good idea to let your child be socialized by a bunch of Beavis and Buttheads. Yes, I think it is absolutely stupid to have your child be socialized by a bunch of Beavis and Buttheads.

Most kids aren’t Beavis and Butt-Heads.

Yes, kids can be idiots sometimes….but it definitely a part of growing up for a kid to be mostly around other kids, rather than their parents, after the age of 7 or so.

I believe it stifles development for an elementary school-aged child to be constantly around adults.

This is coming from someone who felt little pleasure hanging out with most kids.

Kraftie, how does it stifle their development for an elementary school aged child to be constantly around adults who are more than likely going to be more learned and more wise then they are. Don't children model what they see?

You say "it definitely a part of growing up for a kid to be mostly around other kids, rather than their parents, after the age of 7 or so. " I'm sorry but when you have kids who are on the same level of wisdom, knowledge, etc as your child I have to ask what can the other kids teach your child? What profound knowledge, wisdom, morality, etc can other kids teach your kid if they're kept with the same age bracket? This is what I meant by being around a bunch of Beavis and Buttheads.

So, I have to ask could it be possible that this model we're all working under actually is the model that stifles a child's development? And, if so how many children have had their development stifled.

It’s just better for kids to be around other kids than constantly around adults.

Intellectual development: of course kids learn much more from adults.

Social development: kids learn how to get along with people through hanging out with kids of their maturity level.

Most of the time, kids don’t like to be around adults, anyway. I know I didn’t like to be constantly around my parents. I enjoyed summer camp, even though I was bullied in camp—sometimes severely.

How is that so?



True, but not just intellectual development



Do they? Really? Seriously? Or, do they get along in such a way that is dysfunctional?



Of course not! But, should whatever the kid likes determine what is actually good for the kid and how a parent should raise a kid?



Okay, you were bullied and sometimes bullied severely. What did you learn from the other kids exactly? How were these kids good for your social development?

Kraftie, you're a good guy but the idea that a child should learn social skills and socially develop by his peers instead of those who are wiser and with more experience then them makes absolutely no sense.

My opinion: I think today's children are maladjusted in differing and various ways because of this idea. The idea that my future child must be socially developed by his other peers who are on the same level as my child is ludicrous and illogical as saying that the sun revolves around the Earth.

Yes, children should have playmates and friends but social skills development and emotional development. That's on the adults not the responsibility of other children.

Parents are responsible, of course, for teaching social skills, and correcting misinformation provided by other kids.

I was taught social skills both by my parents and by other kids. There are good kids and bad kids.

Children who constantly hang out with their parents and other adults tend to be sheltered—unless the adults happen to be into lousy things.

I feel, ideally, there should be a harmonious mixture of peer and adult company in a kid’s life.

Kraftie, a child can have playmates and friends and have fun together and children are expected to go to school to learn academics.

It is not another child's job to teach your child social skills and social interaction.

The kid in the article learned social skills alright from his other peers. He learned the wrong kind. So, how well did it work out for this particular young man.