Hello, new here...

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First off I want to introduce myself. I have a daughter that is 5 years old and I suspect she has AS. I have two other children, both boys and they appear NT although one is just 3 weeks old:)

I have been reading posts from this site all night/morning long. I decided to post because I have had a lot of concerns with my daughter and I figured this would be a perfect place to get some feedback. I dont have any evaluations planned at this time. I am just looking for some mother to mother advise. Fathers welcome too of course.

I have had my daughter evaluated in the past. We went to a Children's Hospital and a developmental clinic. At the time my daughter was three and I was told she was not autistic. I was relieved but something lingered in my gut... She is not a classic case of asd but to me, as time goes on I believe she is AS and is flying under the radar.

I would like to give you all a little history.

She was a typical baby. She sat up, crawled and walked all on time. She smiled and interacted just fine. Her first words developed before her first b-day. All seemed ok until I started to see little differences after she turned one. The most noticeable thing was her repetitive hand movement. Everytime she got excited she would wiggle her fingers and grimace her face. She still does this at age 5. I also noticed that her "talking" was just labeling and she was leaving out important words like Mom. I remember feeling like she didnt like me. I had a real hard time with that. I didnt think we bonded. But, her vocabulary continued to develop and she loved to play so I figured it was all my fault and I just needed to fix it. A vicious cycle started of spoiling her.

At two she was still not communicating normally. She would ask for movies and things she wanted but we didnt have back and fourth exchanges. At her second b-day party, it was the first time I felt like something was really going on with her. I saw other kids her age and younger acting so different. So, "normal." I was so sad but still convinced she was fine and she just needed more time. After all, she was not in a preschool or daycare setting. I figured she was not around other kids enough.

Echolalia started about age two and a half and she struggled to figure out language. She was reversing pronouns and talking to us with memorized phrases. I saw her trying so I still was not too concerned. Once she turned three she was really improving. The echoing stopped and she was grasping pronouns. Spontanious language was developing...slowly but surely.

The evaluations started after three. I knew because of the hand stims that something was not right. I found out about autism and the "spectrum" around this time and looking back on her language development, I saw too many signs. I was surprised that she was not diagnosed. But, I understand as well...she has all the small signs, not the big signs. Her eye contact is good and she is very funny and tries to interact socially. She does share her interests and loves to show off her artwork and make people things, like beaded necklaces. She had no meltdowns, no need for routine and no serious obsessions. She was puzzling.

Now at 5 she is pretty chatty. She will talk "at" you all day long. She still seems to struggle with conversation. She tries but she is still somewhat memorized and she does not seem very natural with putting her own words together. She does not always make sense. She talks to you like you know what she is talking about and its hard to figure her out if you do not know her. She does not know to fill you in on important details. She interupts people talking all the time. She appears clueless. She will be told all day long to stop putting her face so close to others but its like she cant stop herself. She is very, very hyper and her attention span is really small. I think she has some ADHD going on but I am also pretty sure its ADHD+. I think the + is AS.

Does this sound like AS to you?

Does this get anybetter with age? So far it has but I am so afraid she "marked" for social failure. So far she has some friends. My daughter is kind of the "crazy" girl that makes all the kids laugh. She is not a girly girl at all. Does AS have to mean that you are outcast? This is my biggest fear. Also, does the stimming fade? Its her most obvious sign and I am afraid she is going to get targeted for that.

Thanks to all who took the time to read my post, I know its long...

Welcome! My son Noah was diagnosed at age 9-he is now 10. I love your phrase in describing your daughter "she appears clueless" ! Sometimes that was, is and probably to some extent will always be my son. He is a great kid who happens to have AS. His brain just works differently and it is our job to figure out the best way to help him. Even though he was only recently diagnosed he has made huge progress because he can learn almost anything. He is extremely intelligent and verbal. He has done the same type of stimming you described almost as long as I can remember -he only did it when excited so we thought nothing of it. He still sometimes NEEDS to do it - it has lessened a lot as he has gotten older and we have taught him to try not to do it in front to of others.

You daughter is 5 so naturally will have a short attention span - Does AS mean your daughter will be a social outcast? Not necessarily... but AS kids tend to do things that annoy NT kids. My son went to public school for 4 years and did fine for the first 3 years and then at the age when kids start to get a little meaner he had some problems and we decided to homeschool him last year. Bullying is a problem (unless you have a great, responsive school- which we did not have) and school in general is a tough place for AS kids to learn. Public school for my son was like fitting a square peg in a round hole.

There is so much I could type but you are most likely already overwhelmed just being on this board. Don't get discouraged - read as much as you can and don't forget that your daughter is a completely unique individual with gifts (that you probably can't see yet through the confusion and depression and fear of the unknown.)

This board WILL help you.
I wish you only the best!

Welcome to WP MommyTo, hope you feel at home.

My son, Z was dxd at 8 after about 5 years with various and sundry doctors and professionals. I see what sounds like several Aspie traits in your daughter. We were told it is difficult to dx a very young child. Do not stop with one evaluation, pursue all possible avenues. No two Aspies are identical just as no two NT children are Identical. Keep working for and advocating for your child. Don't think your child can't learn if some body tells you so. You are her first line of support. Hang in there, it will work out.