funny things your kids do & say

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my 7 year old daughter, who is currently not dx'd but is headed for an eval, stayed home sick today. she had been throwing up all night and for much of the day. i had talked with friends who assured me that there was a bug going around, and that i shouldn't worry. i told her that it was just a bug and she would be ok. immediately she looked very worried and began looking under the couch for the bug. . i then had to spend the next 10 minutes reassuring her that there was no bug, and that it was just a saying. and in true aspie fashion she said, " why would you call it a bug when it's a virus?"

I have always called my aspie 10 yo son my "entertainer" - not b/c he's sociable, but b/c of the funny things he says that he doesn't even realize are funny. One day I was getting onto his older sister for critisizing him and looking down on him and he said "no mommy, she's not looking down on me, she's looking out the window".

One of the first biggest breakthroughs I had with my aspie was when he used a metaphor - correctly and knew what it meant! He finished a sentence for me and then said "I took the words right out of your mouth, didn't I mom?" But then added "well, I didn't REALLY take them out of your mouth because that's impossible"....the little things parents w/out aspies take for granted I celebrate as milestones....

We were in town one day and my 9 year old aspie decided to run off from us and we couldn't find him. When we did find him, he was really upset and said that he thought we'd divorced him. We were all upset but had to laugh at that

My 3.5 year old HFA has challenges reversing I and you in sentences. She thinks its a riot to burp and I have been teaching her to at least say "excuse me".

At a party one night she went up to a pretty straight laced couple and forced a tiny burp(pretty darn near their face) and sqealed "Excuse You!!" , very please that she had managed to get the words out at all.

Those people had no sense of humor which made it funnier to me.

It can get to be 112 in the shade here in the summer, and we were at the checkout line at the food store when suddenly my dear aspie son announces in a booming voice to the person bagging our groceries "I wonder why my deoderant isn't working today?"

We tried to smile a lot as we crawled out of the store.... lol

Somebody I used to work with kept asking for funny things that my son had taken the wrong way because she is looking into doing a book, with the heading 'say what you mean, mean what you say'. I didn't think about it until she asked me about it. Another one he did that was funny, I said I was running his bath and he said where are you running it to

LOL!! !! !! !! ! those are great stories !

My son M used to role play when he was 3-5, he was batman (an obsession had 80 plus batman figurines and capes). He never broke character for days sometimes and you had to call him batman or he would correct anyone who didn't. He called me "Lady" because batman always saves the Lady in distress. I walked the isle of many grocery stores with my son at my side saying "Hey Lady can we get some bananas." In my mind I'm thinking the eyes looking at us in bewilderment think I have stolen a child because he is referring to me as "Hey Lady..."

He also loves to compliment women, he was pouring out his sweetness on a neighbor one day when he was about 7 yrs old and every time he complimented her she would say "Oh get out of here" He came to me very distraught wanting to know why every time he tried to be nice to Mrs Parker she told him to get out of her house.

Well had we not been in such a rush I've no doubt thats exactly what he would have done - instead he just looked at me like I was a lunatic, shook his head, sighed and said "God mum you really ask some stupid questions sometimes - I am NOT going to draw all the curtains".

Well, this is not about my Aspie son, but my four year old NT daughter.

Anyway, we are not a very religous family, I was raised roman catholic, but grew rather disinfranchised with the whole organization. My husband was raised Anglican, however after a string of scandles in the church, (Including a conviction of child molestation against one of the ministers) my MIL and FIL resigned as the sunday school teacher and deacon respectively.

So, my 4 year old is not "church going". But, the local baptist church invited her to attend a 5 week "summer camp" for free, and she wanted to go.
I pick her up after the first day and she is bursting with stories of how "fun" it was. I ask her what they did, and she told me they watched a puppet show, about Jesus, and it was really funny! I ask her "who is Jesus"? And she puts both hands on his hips, stops dead in her tracks and turns on me rolling her eyes "I just told you, HE IS A PUPPET!"

So, I am like, ok... we got a bit of work to do, and the rest of the way home I give her a crash course on the whole who is who, Jesus is Gods son, God is the creator of the world, and everything and everyone on it, etc.

Later at dinner Dad comes home, and he asks he what she did today, she tells him all about camp, and then volenteers, and "Jesus is Gods Puppet!"

Oh boy, is it a wonder I don't burst into flames entering the church?

LOL. Mum said I gave her a shock when I was about 20 months old. She had just brought my little brother home from the hospital. Now, I had been saying one or two words together for several months but she said I instructed her to "put that baby in the pram".

Not long after that, she thought she heard the baby crying and found me in the cot pretending to be the baby and mimicking his crying.

My son has a habit of saying everything happens when he was one year old. He often loses me in conversation, or will try to play competitively with other children in video games and such.

He just got a Playstation 2 for his birthday, and the neighbor boy kept saying "well, I'm better at this game than you are Zack, because I have been playing it longer". He said it very matter of factly, and Zack responded "well, I'm better at this game because I was racing real cars when I was one year old!" He said it very proudly, and very matter of factly as well, but the other child seemed annoyed very quickly and I had to explain that saying everything happened when you were one, doesn't really make a lot of sense when you are trying to prove a point. So later, he said something similar, but he said "when I was 2 or 3" instead, lol.

Unfortunately the other child does not have much of a sense of humor, or just doesn't really understand, as he always gives me this look of "why am I stuck here playing?" or something like that. I've often had to tell him if it is that annoying, why does he stick around to make a scene rather than just go home.

Not too long ago, I was in a rush to get out the door, and I said to my son, "I need to do something with Libby's hair before we leave". He said immediately, "you should dye it pink and shave it off!" Libby walked in and she just looked at me as I was still contemplating what to do-I had almost not heard his remark-she put her hands on her head and started screaming "noooo!" while running in circles around the house trying to stay away from me and the brush.

Our household is quite funny-we are all on the spectrum, so there are a lot of misunderstandings. One day Zack and I were talking about how he shouldn't hit people when he gets excited, and we had to figure out other ways to deal with it. I was focused on finding solutions, and he was focused on getting the reason for not hitting. Libby was just repeating what we said in jibberish. Zack doesn't understand that someone can feel pain if you can't actually see the effect from hitting, and we were talking about it. Libby walked up and smacked him while we were talking, and Zack yelled "Libby! You could have broken my arm right off of my body and I might have died!" She gets a kick out of it and smacks me next, while jabbering something about breaking my arm off.

This is a story about an 8 year old child with Asperger's. He was at a cafe with his Mum, and the waiter as a joke put the milkshake in front of his Mum and said, 'I believe this latte is for you'.

The 8 year old said, 'Don't be so ridiculous, children don't drink coffee'. He didn't get that it was a joke!

Helen