6 yr old son doesn't wanna have a 3 yr old brother anymore

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My 10-yr-old aspie is the same way. She is so nasty to her sister. Every day she tells me she wishes I never had her sister, and she's 7!!

My kids are actually in counselling over this (and other things). The counselor feels that it's possible that my AS daughter's obsession is hating her sister. You're not alone!

Thank you, Futurama91 for your reply ! ! I'm still dealing with this daily, but plan to seek counseling as well.

Yes, they have to learn not to be so mean to their siblings because it will cause the siblings lifelong emotional problems if something isn't done to curtail the bad behaviour.

Actually from what I just read, you have been saying one of the worst things for this time (going by my own personal experience. I have siblings. I don't have a single memory of my mom or dad ever saying, "I love you to me," though I heard them say it to my younger siblings (come to think of it I don't recall them saying it to my older one either.)

What my mom would say to me is, "I love all you kids." That made me feel she was deliberately attempting to avoid saying, "I love you" to me. Like I wasn't good enough to be told I love you, so she had to lump everyone else in there. Added to that my aspieness made me the obvious "brunt" of the family and I as the child picked for all the other abuse. I also never got to do anything by mysel (with one exception) though all my siblings got to. No matter what I did, my older sister was always included, or one of my younger siblings. There was nothing "special" just for me, like everyone else had.

Don't say, "we have enough love for both of you." Focus on how you love him. how that love grows. If he really doesn't want his brother right now, and possibly feels put out by him, than why would hearing how much you love his brother help him change that thought?

I'm not a parent so maybe i'm wrong on this, but at three yeras old aren't children learning how to do alot of things on their own for the first time. It could be the extra attention and awards the younger sibling is getting for making his milestones in acheivement that is causing the problem

That was helpful insight, Triangular Trees. Thanks. I just recently had a mommy and son night w/my Aspie 6 yr old, while his 3 yr old brother stayed with his grandparents. We had a sleepover together and ate ice cream in bed and watched a show on t.v. .... we had a really good time.

I'll be trying to do this more often...or just do anything as long as it's just me and him.

One more thing...... how do i answer the question he always asks me ... "mommy, do you love me more than (younger brother) ? He always wants to know that he's "loved more". I can't say that, because that's a lie and I don't like lieing (sp).

When faced with that question, I usually try to switch the subject and point out things I love uniquely about him.

I have this problem too.
My son who is HFA is a sweet and very loving child , he is very affectioante physically, loves to run up to you and grab you without warning for a cuddle and a kiss, constantly tells me he loves me, runs like mad about the house squelling making tents out of cushions etc etc i think he plays like a 5 year old maybe but hes 8.
My daughter hates him, she goes virtually hysterical each time he does something to annoy her , which more or less is anything when he is in the same room, he only has tollook at her or go on the same web page she is on or walk in front of the tv and she is raving and yelling. I have tried to explain that this is the way he is , and i do try to calm him down and encourage him not to play so lively near his sister, but its a small house and he is very active. At times i have found it difficult to enjoy his crazy games, but overall i do love it , i love to see him so hapy and carefree.
However every time my daughter screams at him , i invariabley get screamed at also because my daughter thinks i take his side. I dont its just that i cant stand her aggressive screaming and its unnecersary if she asked him in a more civil tone he would, he may forget in a few minutes but she has no need to scream and call him rude names. consequently she seems to hate me and him with equal venom. Shes 10

My son is 11 and lives with me and his step-father. We have no other children, so our son has our undivided attention most of the time. He goes to visit his father every summer who is remarried to a lady who has a 13 year old daughter from a previous relationship. The daughter has a hard time dealing with my son because of his AS, ADHD and immaturity. Oh, and of course, she is so much more mature and sophisticated with her designer clothes and mannerisms. My son just wants to play with her like they did when they were little, but she is growing up and isn't interested in doing any of that now. When the daughter has had enough, they will send her to visit with grandmother, who fortunately lives nearby. I believe she stayed at grandmother's house a lot this summer. So, some separation helped in this regard. My son didn't understand it at all and did get his feelings hurt even though his father tried to explain to him that the daughter just had different interests now.

To the OP, I think spending some quality one and one time with your older son is a good thing, and my husband would agree with this. Each weekend, he will go do something out of the house, so that my son and I can have some time alone together, or we'll go to the movies or do something fun, just the two of us. Your son is probably feeling jealous of his baby brother, who is probably getting a lot of attention.