Does anyone here have a child 18 years or older

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Emen
Tufted Titmouse
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19 Jul 2008, 2:45 am

Hi there,
We used to worry a lot about our son too, so I know where you're coming from.
Our son is 19 now and has Asp. (undiagnosed until he was 16) and Dyspraxia (diagnosed at 11). It is the Dyspraxia that has caused him cognitive difficulties and although he's very bright he has struggled at times at school as the dyspraxia affects the processing of information. He went to college last year just on a year's certificate course and coped well with looking after himself, which was our main concern. He didn't want to continue on academically at that time but he may do so in the future.
He's back home with us now and looking for a job,meanwhile volunteering at a community TV station. He is a very happy person and enjoys life - that's just his personality. He has a number of hobbies and is very social though he doesn't have a close friend, which is a bit sad. He gets on better with adults than his contemporaries as they are more tolerant of his differences and appreciate his good nature.
You know your own child best and don't let anyone set limits on his future or tell you that he won't be able to achieve this or that because they just don't know.
As regards IQ testing, it may be true that a full scale result cannot be obtained if your child is weak in one area, eg. processing speed, or verbally but so what. IQ test results can be given far too much weight. Focus on what you know about your child and have faith in your own opinions.



DomesticAdvocate
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20 Jul 2008, 8:18 pm

Thank you Emen!

Thank you!!



Emen
Tufted Titmouse
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22 Jul 2008, 4:43 am

Hi again,
You are very welcome.

Just another thought...... my son was in the Scouts (the old-type boy scouts that is) from the of 6, progressing through the age groups until he was 18 and in the Venture Scouts. With them he learnt very valuable life-skills, planning and packing for camps and looking after himself while he was there; social skills through mixing with other kids of all ages and backgrounds and the adult leaders; earning badges for activities he might not normally experience. Even his Dad enjoyed many of the outdoor activities by going along as a parent helper.

I'm sure our son's early teenage years particularly - the time when he was probably most socially isolated - were greatly enriched by his involvement in our very active local scout group.

You may have similar youth organisations available that could help your son in the same way.



DomesticAdvocate
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30 Jul 2008, 11:12 am

I will have to see about that.

He experiences a large amount of anxiety over what seems trivial to many, I wonder if this would help him.

I think if I were him, I would feel anxious too. I think he feels often like he is in culture shock.



earthmonkey
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04 Aug 2008, 2:30 am

fbug wrote:
DomesticAdvocate, whatever you do defiantly do not allow anyone to dictate what either of your kids are or are not capable of achieving.


Oh, yes, definitely. My test scores on the WAIS (an IQ test) indicate that I have below average intelligence and on performance IQ as well as auditory and visual processing, I scored in the borderline ret*d range.

However, I am about to go to a four-year college and pursue a degree in physics, and also have been told from teachers in math, science, and writing that I am very bright and an exellent student, though this has much to do with most teachers I've had being very understanding of autism and my sensory differences, and helping me find strategies / accommodate me, for both autism and poor vision, as well as my on-and-off Internet access over the four years of high school.

While in some settings my disabilities are obvious, when I have the right understanding and supports, I can be very successful academically as well as in other environments, such as work. I am 18 BTW.

One thing that's key is for the individual to develop maximum understanding of their personal strengths and weakenesses, and to develop strategies for things that are difficult (such as having a written routine for boarding a bus independently).

Also it's important to know (for both disabled individual and those interacting with them) that these things aren't always rigid. Such as, in my example, I have had consistently strong conceptual math skills, but starting at 16 my arithmetic skills started to decline sharply, while my analytical math skills increased, and speech has become less consistently available, but I have increasing body awareness and communication.

After all, especially at college, students are generally expected to go to the disability office themselves and ask specifically what they need, as well as provide documentation.

When I was taking college classes in high school, after about a year I managed to make an appointment and get myself to the office, and I even got documentation, but I had no idea what to ask for, what would help me, what I'd be eligible for - I didn't know any of it, so they just told me what they knew I'd be eligible for, and I basically just said OK.

So aside from developing their insight of their own abilities and disabilities, it's crucial to ensure that they know how to navigate the official avenues of obtaining services. It can be confusing for non-disabled people, so especially if there are issues with reading comprehension, or organization, planning, execution, initiating speech or other communication (as would be necessary to make appointments), these would be good things to rehearse, and depending on the person, it wouldn't hurt to accompany them on first visit.

It's all really individual, of course, and I've heard of aspies who go through college without any supports or accommodations, but even those of us who are academically successful and have many independence skills, sometimes do need accommodations here or there.

Anyway, I wish good things on you and your family!


_________________
"There are things you need not know of, though you live and die in vain,
There are souls more sick of pleasure than you are sick of pain"

--G. K. Chesterton, The Aristocrat


soljaboi51
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08 Aug 2008, 1:34 am

I am 16. I have a driver's license, AS, and a job at target. My employers and coworkers have no knowledge of my diagnosis and I get along with them all just fine.