i think my son may be gay

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my 18y/o son has never had a girlfriend and i always thought it was shyness but somethings starting telling me he might be gay

im not so good on noticing body language but when we were on holiday for his 18th my partner said he feels my son and his friend seemed quite attached and my son stayed in his hotel room with him even though there was only one double bed
he spends a lot of time with this boy as well and is often staying over at his place instead of coming home but he doesnt seem interested in girls

im not sure if its a male social standard that straight males dont share a bed with each other but im not sure on that but i know my partner wouldnt want to share a bed with another man
.share a room but not a bed

if he was gay i wouldnt mind at all but i would be a little disappointed that i wouldnt get a grandchild as i think he will make a good father but if he is gay and is happy then i will be happy
i dont like to question him or anything but if he is gay it will do him good if he came out

i know its a thing with teenagers that they might get teased if gay but in this day and age what age do you think gay boys come out ?

Some people don't come out, or even know for sure themselves until later in life. Its not something anyone can really decide for someone else. If you aren't worried if your son might be gay or not, I wouldn't press the matter. At his age, sex with anyone might not even be on his radar right now.

My advice is to try to show support in subtle ways without actually bringing it up. So that he knows you're a safe person to come out to.

he knows im always there for him

i love him more than anyone else on this earth

It depends on the child. I know, crappy answer when you're concerned about your child, but it's kinda reality. My oldest didn't come out until he was in his 20s. It wasn't a fear thing for him.. he had/has friends and family who are more than supportive. It was just him being a private person and wanting to take time to think on this and figure it all out before he came out. He's always been that way. He won't say a thing until he has it figured out from every possible angle and then he might wait some more, thinking.

Your son knows you love him that's all that matters. If he is gay, he'll tell you when he's ready and I'm sure he knows you'll support him no matter who he loves in life.

He can still have children, too. ^

I came out to my parents when I was 18. My mum's response was that she had expected me to come out in my mid twenties, so around 25. No surprise, just 'Huh, thought this conversation was going to happen later than this'. I - I guess my closet was made of glass.

The age which someone comes out to their parent(s) may differ from the age they come out to their friends. It did for me, but then again it may not. Everyone has a different story.

Ultimately, when someone comes out is entirely up to them. Trying to get someone to come out when they might not be ready is a bad idea. Also, as Isabella mentioned, he can still have kids. Whether he wants to or not is another matter.

i think its more expensive to have children as a gay couple unless they adopt

I have two gay friends from high school who are raising children with their husbands; one couple did surrogacy, the other likely adopted. Surrogacy is expensive - but I had infertility and pregnancy loss so am proof a hetero couple can spend far more time and money (and trauma) than a gay couple to establish a family. Maybe less likely, but neither situation is a guarantee of ease or hardship.

I wonder that my son might be gay, or bisexual. He's young yet (9), but there are signs that make me consider: a kiss at a birthday party, "joking" that he's gay. I also thought that he was left-handed and ends up he's right-handed, but probably ambidextrous to a large degree and directionally fluid for sure (doesn't abide by right/left standards). I asked him if he's had a crush yet and his answer is "no". I'll check in with him from time to time. Talk about attractions rather than the label which unfortunately still faces negative cultural bias.

My exh and his husband have two boys via surrogacy.
They spent less on surrogates than my exh spent on lawyers against our kids.

Divorce is more expensive than adoption or surrogacy.
As long as your son has kids with the right person, he'll make it work.
Assuming of course he wants kids.

My daughter wants to adopt, but who knows what the future brings.

I think it is extremely hard for kids to come out to their parents. They know so many horror stories, and for most a parent is someone they don't just want approval from, but need it. So despite how I thought my kids would know that we would accept them as they were, it turns out our second child did not know, and intentionally hid a lot from us. Until my grown child learned enough self-confidence to stop caring if we approved, the risk was unthinkable to them.

I think the best you can do is continue to project a caring attitude, openly speak about not understanding how any parent could ever reject their own child, and so on. Don't share your worry about gay couples not providing grandchildren; any little thing can drive a scared child to believe they will profoundly disappoint their parents if the parents learn their truth. It is so so very hard for them to tell their parents.

my mother abandoned me when i turned 17 and just kicked me out the house and didnt care any more
my son knows id never let that happen to him because i am not my mother

i know im emotionless and not have much empathy but i would still do anything for my son and i dont care whether he is gay or not as long as i know he is safe and well and happy

i have told him that
but i know he is still at the aloof teenager stage so i am not going to force him to do anything
i just want him to be happy

I am so very sorry you had that experience, Caz72. I will never understand how any parent could do that.

he wants to move out and live with his friend who has recently got a apartment and its one bedroom

to me it really looks like he is gay with this friend

i hope he will come out soon

the only problem in this is my husbands friend wants to move in with us now that my son wont be there
(this is unrelated to my son being gay btw )

The mysteries of life. ASD folks don't sit well with Uncertainty. I might set my Expectations as to when (if) my son will come out, make it a bit of a game for myself --- 6 months, 2 years... Most likely before age 30. In the meantime, I would watch for opportunities for super subtle ways to respond to or create the topic. (I'm very playful.) Not so subtle, but for my young children I've shared that my first crush was 2nd grade and asked if they've had a crush on somebody (gender neutral). My daughter has had two crushes, my son none (that he will disclose).

How long would the friend be around? We've had friends stay with us for a few months, but urged a nephew out of the house after six months.

The best way is to wait for them to come out and don't let them rush to do things that they don't want as a parent it's really important that we learn to accept and wait for them in their time.