In a sea of children, my boy stood out...

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School started today. Brand new school, brand new staff, etc. They had us bring the children to the multi-purpose room/ cafeteria. Lots of kids, lots of parents. I took my little Kindergardener to the table with his teacher's name, told him to sit there, and then stood back against the wall a few feet from him. I looked around at all the kids and parents, scoped the room, and then looked back over to see my son sitting right where I left him with both hands covering his ears and his eyes closed. I noticed that a few parents were looking at him inquisitively.

Poor kid was on sensory overload. He's not diagnosed and not genetically related(adopted) to my diagnosed ASD daughter, but so many things scream out that he's also ASD. I actually am hoping that his difficulties that he has at home will manifest at school so that the school can test him and get him the help that he needs.

I'll have toread his when I-

Many kids, even NT, cover their ears when they're nervous not just due to sensory issues. Kids are pretty accepting and probably are nervous themselves the first day, so hopefully he didn't stand out too much.

Could he be copying behaviors he sees at home from your daughter who has an ASD?

I realize you want him to be recognized for his issues at home, but don't expect that he will behave the same way at school.

My son was wonderful with me at home, but unmanageable in kindergarten.

Also, did you consider keeping him back a year so he could mature a bit more? Sometimes, boys are too young at 5 to being formally schooled. I really wish I could have kept my son back a year. I was told he was ready to go. I had no idea what I was in for.

I talked to the teacher today. She told me he seems "lost in his own world", "has difficulty following instructions", and I mentioned that we suspect he may be HFA and asked if she'd noticed his hand-flapping. She said, "Yes I have, and that makes perfect sense!" She had an "Ah-ha" moment.

I'm attempting to find someone who can do a developmental assesment of him/Autism assesment, etc.

My insurance is basically useless- only Dr. who does assesments is over 2 hours away.

I did think of keeping him out of school for another year, but I thought it would benefit him to be in "the system" and be assesed by the school if possible as soon as possible.

I have contacted my foster-adopt agency worker to see if she knows of any resources we can utilize to get him evaluated. He was adopted through foster-care as a baby and therefore retains his medi-cal benefits and eligibility for some special programs through the state.

I thought that if you officially requested it that the school has to do an evaluation??? but I am not sure about them being able to dianose, just evaluate. (at least that is what my school system is telling me).

All the school district is legally entitled (or allowed) to do is evaluate the child. They can't diagnose, and all they are evaluating is whether or not the Aspergers or Autism has an effect on the child ACADEMICALLY. That's the problem with where we are with my son - his autism effects him socially, but not academically right now. He's a VERY smart kid, and right now - he can keep up even though he kind of "checks out" or goes into his own world a lot in class. He could really use some help with social interaction as well as some occupational therapy type things, but unless the district is able to see the Aspergers effecting him educationally - we'll be on our own.

Good luck, I hope it works out for the best!

My two cents...

Go to the best neuro-psychiatrist you can find and have him diagnosed. They will be able to determine the correct diagnosis for your child. Pay for it out of your own pocket if you have too. Don't rely on the school system to take the lead. They have their own agenda.

Do what is in the best interest of your child. If your child was in an accident, you would want the best doctor and medical staff working on him. Why would anyone skimp on a doctor for such an important diagnosis as AS? The diagnosis your child receives now will directly affect him for the rest of his life. Choose wisely.

I totally agree with JsMom - we actually went to a respected neurologist who is an expert in the field of Autism and Aspergers. I don't necessarily think that you have to go to a neuro psychiatrist if you can't find one near you, but you definitely need a neurologist to give you an accurate diagnosis. Going to your regular pediatrician isn't enough for this one. My pediatrician totally diagnosed my son from day one, but she instructed me to take him to an area expert. The school district usually won't fight that kind of diagnosis, and then it's just a matter of deciding what kind of services, if any, is required for your child to be as successful in school as well as in life.

The reason I recommend a neuro-psychiatrist is because it is the fastest route to getting where you want to be in getting services for your son. Due to our ignorance of the process, we took a slower route, and it took us about a year and a half and a lot of fighting with the school to get the services our son needed. We, first, went to our pediatrician thinking just ADHD. He confirmed, but thought something else was going on and sent us to a psychologist. The psychologist did all her testing, and determined AS with ADHD being co-morbid. We advised the school and asked for services. The school then did their testing, but only allowed for ADHD. I then requested an IME (independent medical examination). In this process, I could pick the doctor to yet again do more testing, but it had to be from the schools approved list. So, I did my homework and reseached each and every doctor on that list. Lucky for us, they had the head of neuro-psychiatry of a local hospital on the list, so we chose her. She diagnosed AS co-morbid with ADHD. The school had to accept the diagnosis, but they continued to balk. We ended up buying a house in the same school district but in the area of a different school. Boy was that the best thing we did! No fighting, great teachers, and our son is making great progress.

I have to echo what RhondaR said..my now 10 year old son went to a gifted school for 3 years -did wonderfully academically but socially- not so good. They did not know what to do with him because they are in the business of academics not social development. When is there time for that in public school? On the playground- where there is 1 adult to supervise 200 kids? That's when my son walked the perimeter of the playground endlessly, sometimes he got one of the 3 swings, sometimes he got things thrown at him or teased, bullied. Unfortunately, I saw our future in public school and it was terribel stress and anxiety for my son, endless IEP meetings where many things were said by some well meaning people but nothing really got accomplished. In reality keeping my son in a public school would have been like trying to put a square peg in a round hole and in the process my son would suffer greatly.

I homeschooled him last year and we are starting again in Sept. It has opened up a whole new world for him and he is a much happier, less anxious kid - it is the best thing we ever did for him.

This is just my experience - I hope your school is somehow able to accomodate your child - it can be done- GOOD LUCK!

Well, My options seem to be to

1. Switch medical networks so he can be seen at the MIND Institute whish has a 2-year wait list anyway.

2. Pay about $500 out-of-pocket that I REALLY can't afford right now so he can see a neuro-psychiatrist for diagnosis - we certainly can't afford counseling through this Dr., so it would solely be for diagnosis.

3. Wait and see what the school decides to do.


Still looking for other options at this point.


We only got the run-around from the school with our 9 y/o HFA daughter because she's in gifted education classes and doesn't struggle academically- although she certainly would if I did not work so hard to keep her organized and on top of her homework and projects.

She's well-behaved in school, but once she's in her safe home-environment, the melt-downs, emotional problems, and agressive behavior comes back. Her teachers were shocked when I told them about this last year. So we did take her to a psych who supposedly works with PDD kids, but she did not do any kind of evaluation, just said she's probably on the autistic spectrum, and never really did anything to help: we got more help from the internet than the psych. We got the official diagnosis from the UC Davis MIND Institute when I signed up my daugher for a research study. They did an evaluation to make sure she met criteria for the study. They won't get my boy on a study because they have a lot more boys to choose from that have an official diagnosis. They were short on girls, so were willing to do the eval too.

I would suggest making a formal written request to the school district to have him evaluated. If you are seeing signs of sensory defensiveness and the teacher is seeing signs such as hand flapping, there may be enough there to qualify for services. I would never take a wait and see approach for a child who had issues that may be very problematic in school, knowing how long it takes the district to complete evaluations at this time of year. If you make a formal request to the principal in writing, it will set the legal time clock into motion. If you wait, then it will be that much longer. Social skills training, helps to reduce anxiety, and adaptions for sensory or OT don't need a medical diagnosis to be addressed in school.