Need Opinion About Son

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My daughter exhibited traits of Asperger's literally from her first days of life. My son has been a bit different. He seemed very normal at birth and until about 1 1/2. His motor skills evolved rapidly, much unlike our AS daughter. Thing is, he isn't doing much talking and he's nearing his second birthday. His delay doesn't seem terrible yet, but kids younger than him are saying a lot more on average.

The other problem, which we thought was a general behavior problem, is that he seems to have mini meltdowns over everything. We had the epiphany the other night that these may be actual meltdowns. An example is when we call him away from something he is doing. He tries to finish regardless of whether he is allowed or not, and he does know the difference. He likes to get into the TV cabinet and push the DVD buttons. We say "OUT" and he calmly proceeds to finish pushing the button he intended, then closes the door...we say OUT again and he just starts bawling because he hasn't finished. While the DVD player might not suffer for us allowing him to finish, we hate to consider what would happen if he doesn't respond quicker when it comes to running into the street after a ball he is focused on or touching a hot stove or any number of other dangerous things.

It's as if he NEEDS to finish his task. If he can't, he freaks out, throws himself down and cries as if he's been hurt to his core. He will also do this when I'm calling him and he is busy with a task. If he is interrupted, he will just start crying his heart out. He cries a LOT because of things like this. Whenever we shift his focus. Otherwise, he really is a good kid and not really prone to tantrums.

The last thing of note is his total lack of desire to play with other kids. Except his sister, but I think most of that is about her toys. Where my daughter will run to join other kids, my son seems to be completely disinterested in the fact that they're even there. They might me wallpaper as far as he is concerned. His desire for hugs and being touched (hand held, back rubbed or patted) has diminished to near nothing too.

Anyhow if you have insight, I would appreciate it.

You know, those could be normal toddler tantrums. Most every kid in their 2s flips out and cries and screams if their parents won't let them do what they want to do, there's a reason they're referred to as the "terrible twos." Similarly, I was under the impression that at least in part, 'til kids reach 3 or so they're mostly interested in playing for their own benefit, and they're unconsciously learning social skills (it's where we don't do so well, because we don't learn them). I guess it could be AS, but it might just be normal and he's starting to speak a little late. I'd totally talk to your doctor, though. Given the rest of your family, he must at least be considered "high risk" for an ASD.

Hmm, yeah I suppose my post is rather vague and these behaviors could seem innocuous and typical of a soon-to-be two year old boy.

It took us a while to figure out our eldest son had Asperger's too (our middle son was diagnosed first).

Their personalities are so different and they exhibit different AS traits.

I'm suspicious that our 4 year old may have AS too. It's hard to know because our household is set up perfectly for Aspies so he's happy at home.

At daycare he's happy - they have a huge outside area and play outside most of the time. Recently it actually rained for two days (we're in the middle of a historic drought) so he was stuck inside all day. He had meltdowns all morning and screamed when the kids came near him. When I picked him up he told me it was a yucky day because all the kids were too noisy.

I discussed him with our psychologist and she said there is heaps of brain development between 3 and 7 years of age. He's happy at home and daycare (when it's not raining) so I'm not going to seek diagnosis yet.

Anyway I'm rambling on. Your son may have AS - some of what you describe sounds Aspie.

You could discuss it with your Doctor and decide if you want to seek diagnosis yet, or wait a while.

Regards
Helen

I think you have some good points here. I do plan to wait to seek a diagnosis for him, unless something really blatant pops up and begs attention sooner. For now, it's watchful waiting. Our home tries to be aspie-friendly, so I think the little guy needs more peer interaction and some more out-in-the-world experience before we can say with any degree of certainty that a problem exists (or doesn't).

Thanks for the reply

When we started taking Z to therapy we were repeatedly told it was very difficult to dx a very young child because so many characteristics could just normal variations in development. Perhaps waiting and observing are your best bet at this time. You are probably already using techniques you've already learned for dealing with Aspy behavior so I'll only say remember that with a developing 2 yr old they may not always get the desired results.
Keep a record of his behaviors for when you decide if he needs evaluation, it never hurts to go in with amunition.

The tantrums could simply be normal 2 year old behavior, but your last paragraph about his having no desire to play with other kids is the one that I would watch that carefully. I also wouldn't go too long before getting a speech evaluation arranged, especially if you're in an area of the country where waiting lists are long.