Son's evaluation, parenting advice needed

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My son's evaluation takes place at 3 pm today. We've been waiting six months for this moment. Wish me luck! I'll update this thread later today.

I have kept a careful log of his behaviors and therapies, so I think I'm well prepared. He also received a full evaluation from ITEIP before intervention began, which will provide objective, unbiased evidence of his former delays. In the past I have sometimes become nervous around professionals and forgotten to address key aspects of the situation at hand, so I am determined to keep a cool, clear head today. His evaluation will take place at the most widely recognized and respected facility in the area, so I am reasonably confident that things will proceed well. It's clear to me that his symptoms are no longer severe enough to warrant a diagnosis of autism, but I am hoping they can shed some light on what exactly has occurred over the past few months, as well as what to watch for in the future, given the strong family history of AS-like symptoms.

In the meanwhile, I'd like some help from you.

Increasingly I'm finding that my own AS symptoms are causing parenting to be a frustrating experience for me. This is really embarrassing for me to admit.... everybody I know IRL thinks I am a great mother, but I can see myself heading down the road to being a really bad mother if I can't learn a better way of managing my own symptoms. My sensory integration difficulties are primarily auditory, and my son happens to have a very sensory-seeking, loud, hyperactive temperament (in short--the opposite of my own, despite our many similarities in other areas).

Previously I'd always depended on long periods of quiet time to recharge in order to maintain my "cover" of normalcy, but as a mother this method is no longer an option. Or rather...I am so overwhelmed by the constant demands of my state in life, my appetite for alone time has increased to the point where it cannot possibly be sated in the space of a single day. I must also multitask quite a lot, which is taxing. I think I will feel a lot better when he three or so (I've always preferred that age and older, in working with children), but I have to survive the next year without making a mess of things . Ideally I'd like for the both of us to do spectacularly well and thrive throughout this time, despite my being out of my element.

Can anybody recommend some resources (books, web sites, whatever) for parents on the spectrum? Or resources not specifically for parents, but which would be useful to me in my situation? Or just some encouragement would be great. I am sure similar questions have come up before in this forum, but I'd rather have some personalized advice than go searching for it.

I'm on my out the door (IEP) but I'd like to say that I have your same challenges. I'll return to share more.

Have you ever been to Delphiforums.org? There are a couple of good chat forums there for parents of aspies, and as you might imagine, some of the parents are aspies, too. Good shared advice and moral support!

I'm not very useful about this, but you have my whole hearted moral support.

Thanks so much ladies!

I'm too sleepy now to post in detail, so I'll have to put that off 'til tomorrow... but things went well.

Just want to say I can relate very much. I'm an aspie mom who requires some down time to get my own thoughts in order. My aspie child's behaviors are very loud and bouncy, so it can be a bit of a challenge. She has taught me patience though, and we've learned a lot of diversions.

A lot of time she just needs an activity. We have her participating in gymnastics and I take her outside to play every day to wear off some of that energy. We have "active toys" for her, like a bicycle, scooter, jump rope, soccer ball. Teaching her how to use them takes tremendous patience, but once she catches on she's marvelous at it and it really helps her with a sense of pride in herself and with having a calmer, more focused day afterward.

Since she also likes to draw, we feed that interest. She has coloring books, activity books, Aquadoodle, Magnadoodle - lots of things to focus her creative streak on. When she is focused, she is quiet and she is learning. While this may sound easy, it's not until you discover and go with THEIR interests. And their interests may require a good deal of practice and patience first (like bike riding - it took 2 years to teach her how to pedal it).

Routine halts a lot of the disorganized behaviors which lead to loud stimming. She likes routine, and this is easy for me because I do too.

Everyone tells me what a good mom I am too. I think we probably are, but the frustration we sometimes feel while NT moms just look at peace with all the screaming and yelling kids do at play makes us feel like we're somehow not as good because we have less patience. In fact, I think we have more patience. We have much more to deal with, but we manage to balance it all. And my daughter is well-adjusted and happy...more so than some NT kids I know.

I hope everything went well. And I wanted to let you know that I too can relate to your sensory issues. There is nothing more taxing, that makes me want to "lose it" more than dealing with my 9 y/o when she's in meltdown phase, screaming. My 4 y/o is NT and she is a drama queen who wants attention, so she screams and yells, and does this high-pitched squeal that drives me insane. MY 5 y/o also has melt-downs and agression issues that lead to constant screaming, fighting with 4 y/o sis. It's a zoo aound here and sometimes I just have to walk away, close the door, and get away from it as best as I can. I feel like such a failure as a parent sometimes when my own sensory overload does not allow me to deal with my kids. It's rare, but it does happen. I've become a good predictor of melt-downs with the older child, so she's doing bette- I can often head them off.

BTW, I use music to distance myself- to center myself, to help when I'm on sensory overload. I have an Ipod that I use with headphones when I need to espcape.

Best of luck to you!