How do you get your child to do schoolwork AT school??

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My son is refusing to do his work at school, and they are going to great lengths to accomodate him. His work has been drastically reduced, he gets credit just for trying but he won't do this! The teachers are all out of ideas and are asking me! Everything I have told them they are already doing.

I'll be waiting to hear--we experience this too. My son is going into 3rd grade and beginning work he doesn't want to do has always been an issue since kindergarten. He is a perfectionist and wants he starts something, he puts everything into it and takes longer so this year I'm going for more processing time (he has trouble leaving something undone, so I think he avoids it altogether if he believes he won't be able to complete it).

I think part of that is his problem also, but he doesn't voice his feelings so I am LOST on this issue. We have tried just about everything. He doesn't even have to do it all, just TRY and he refuses. They fold the paper so it is not overwhelming visually and everything else. The teacher lets him stand at her desk, or he can stand at his desk, in math they have brought in an assistant to help him and he refused all work today at all!! !

(sigh)

at least he has a really good teacher who tries real hard with him and is emailing me throughout the day. Thank God for that!

1)he may not understand the instructions

2) He may be pushing buttons to see how far people will bend for him

3)he may need to sit with the teacher and parent at the same time to discuss the rules for the class.

What is his response when asked why he won't work in class?

1. I know he understands the instructions (at least for most of it), he HATES writing and doesn't want to do any of it, I know it is hard for him (very poor fine motor skills) which is why he only has to write 2 short sentences. For this one assignment in particular he only had to write 5 words!

2. I highly suspect he is "pushing buttons" or testing his limits.

3. That is a good idea to sit with the teacher and discuss the rules, depending on how his day is today we may do that this afternoon

4. He just growls at me, he doesn't really tell me why he won't do it (we have communication issues!)

When Pop had a hard time writing in 1st grade, he got to type on the computer/keyboard. But he has an autism dx, not Asperger's. But it worked for a while. Now he doesn't seem to have problems so far. He uses a mechanical pencil which is narrower and "softer" because it's plastic not wood.
We tried "grips" but he didn't like them at school.

we tried for that in his IEP meeting but they wanted him to continue try writing. OT hasn't seen him for a couple of weeks so she is due to come in, they may change their minds about that if this keeps up. He wont even stay at his desk, he gets up and walks all around the room.

Is this writing as in the subject of "penmanship"? When my son was in the crappy school, he had penmanship and because of the situation (long story in a thread in this forum) I brought him home early every day. He did a lot of his penmanship at home.
Answering questions for other subjects could be done on the computer.
But he should be able to write less than 10 words by hand in class. Accomodations are about helping him be successful, not "getting out of something unpleasant". The transition to 1st grade is huge and although he needs aide, he also needs to push himself. My son got some really bad habits because he misunderstood the special ed accomodations. He had to be convinced that if he wanted to "move further" and be considered a "big boy", he had to act like one.

no, the writing is just part of the curriculum. He can do it, he is just being completely uncooperative. An example from the other day was "Stephen likes the movie Star Wars"

That was ALL he had to write and he only did Stephen and then poked holes in his paper with his pencil (a favorite thing to do lately). I told the teacher it was okay to be firm with him as long as you keep you voice calm. I do believe he is testing his limits, but this was a continuous problem from last year also.

He did do very well in class today though

My son accepts staying in for recess. Heck, he may be planning it. We had our IEP meeting today and the teacher "incidently" noticed that the past two days he's been more resistant to writing. Well, he lost his special pencil and had to use a wooden one.
But staying in for recess works because other kids get the same treatment. He's not standing out and no one is freaking out over it.
I would make sure that he isn't in pain because of holding the pencil too hard or needing a thinner one.

Our teacher last year had a special store. She stocked it with glittery pencils, stretchy toys, erasers....all sorts of things. The kids would earn chips for different "good" things they did. If they got in trouble, chips would be taken away. However, with our grandson, the teacher never took any chips away, on purpose, to help him.....it was only positive. He liked being able to buy things at the store.....maybe this suggestion may help.

oh he's been in school since he was 4, had to do preschool because of his "developmental delay"

Believe me, Pandora, he has plenty of time to "be a kid". I use "big boy" to refer to following rules or asking for special accomodations without tantruming. I get the sense that you read a lot into my posts that isn't there.
Tantruming in a classroom just isn't acceptable and to stay in the classroom (like a "big boy") one must find ways to avoid tantrums and meltdowns. A child in a general ed class also needs to keep up with academics. Being able to state just what is bothering them about an assignment helps us provide accomodations. Growling and/or throwing pencils on the floor just doesn't cut it.

I think you expect too much and refuse to recognise that he has a disability that impairs his ability to communicate. He is not going to be able to respond "normally" all the time. I don't mean condoning tantrums but just realising that he does not have the emotional sophistication to be able to cope as well with frustration as "normal kids".

By having unrealistic expectations, you're only setting yourself and him up for disappointment and frustration. But if you chilled a little and helped him work on his issues in a less judgemental fashion, it would be better. If he can't speak about what he finds hard with his homework, maybe he could write it down.

Like many Aspies, my written skills are far ahead of my oral skills. I can't always tell people what is bothering me unless I'm allowed to write it down. I wasn't very badly autistic as a child and the symptoms really only became a big issue once I had to leave home.

I've already said it once. You read more into my posts than is there. You make incorrect assumptions that insult and judge me as a parent. You contradict things that I say I know about my son. Again, this is a thread to help someone else and you come after me to insult. I won't tolerate it. You state your own opinions as fact. If you continue to post to me in this fashion I will consider you a troll. I'm not responsible for your miserable childhood. I'm responsible for my own son.