Evaluation Coming Up

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Though I've been waiting years for a professional to evaluate my daughter, now that the day is a mere two weeks away, I find myself nervous. I'm nervous that they won't see what we see, and she'll fail to get a diagnosis. I'm nervous that they will see what we see, and she will get a diagnosis. Either way, do we win? Either we hear a confirmation to our suspicions that she is a high-functioning Autistic (probably Asperger's) or we hear nothing. Regardless of the outcome of this appointment, we have a difficult road ahead.

It makes me feel better that they spent some time talking to me over the phone, and when I told them my suspicions I was not met with the usual, "Oh, there's nothing wrong with her," or, "All kids scream and make funny noises and avoid eye contact," like everyone else said. Instead what I heard, after saying, "You're probably thinking, what does this lady possibly know about autism?" was, "Actually, what you are describing is a pretty classic progression for Autism. Parents are usually the first ones to pick up on something, and the information they provide is crucial to an accurate diagnosis." And I felt like, for the first time since I knew something was just not right in her very first few weeks, someone actually gets me.

Still, it's easy enough to talk about it, know it, sense it, write about it. It's something entirely different to sit there and have a professional tell you that your child is autistic. I think there is going to be a part of me that hurts very badly at that moment, and I suspect that is where the anxiousness comes in.

Two weeks.

This is a professional diagnostic evaluation for a 4 year old. What can I expect?

Dear siuan, you are taking the steps to do what is right for your daughter, so either way you will win. Z's dx wasn't until he was 8, though we knew long before that. Getting a dx will give you a definite direction in which to move in order to get the help and support you and your child need. A dx will give a place from which you can insist your daughter be provided with the special services she is entitled to under the law.

They may be a part of you that hurts when the dx is given. Most parents want the best for their children and hurting for them is a very real part of being a parent. But that pain will ease and become strength for you and your child as you realize ( and I know you already do) what a marvelous person your child is. You will be able to help her realize this too, and as she grows and develops you will be able to help her build on her strengths and overcome her weaknesses. Yes, it will be a long road, but this journey will be full of excitement and wonder for you both, believe me , I know.

What should you expect at the evaluation? Beuacratic red tape to begin with. They will talk to you and her, you will be given forms to fill out, you will probably be given forms for her teachers to fill out, and the conclusion will probably not come overnight. Document what you have seen in your daughter and be very specific about behaviors you have observed. Ask questions and insist on explainations of things you don't understand. Look at it as a learning experience, after all your education is beginning. good luck and keep in touch. There are people here to help in your journey.

Thank you Corsarzs. She's a great kid and my main goal here is getting a proper diagnosis before she goes to public school and ends up getting labeled a problem child like I did. My sadness comes from knowing what growing up with Asperger's is like. I didn't have parents that helped me though, which is where my daughter definitlely has an advantage. I just realize that it is a difficult thing, and like you said, I want the best for my children.

I've compiled a lengthy list of behaviors we've been dealing with and all of the sensory issues she has. I'm bringing the list with me to the evaluation. The woman I spoke with when setting this up a few months ago seemed to be very willing to listen - which is more help than I've gotten in all the three years I've been trying to find it. I feel cautiously optimistic.

I understand completely how you are feeling! The summer before last when we took out then 5 year old I was the same way. Did I "win" if they said nothing was wrong with him??? Because then why did he act so strange all the time! And do I win if he does Dx AS?? Because then there is something wrong with him!! I was torn both ways. But in the end he is obviously AS, otherwise I wouldn't be here now and it has all turned out for the best, he finally is getting the services I have just about screamed for.

Keep us updated on how everything goes. I think making the list is an excellent idea, I am currently doing the same for my youngest who still is technically not Dx yet. He was evaulated by the school system which determined him to be "highly likely" for autism but they can not diagnose him offically.

I think that no matter the diagnosis, you will continue to be a good parent.
Educating yourself and coming to places like this show how much you care and how far you are willing to go
to help your daughter and family.

After my second diagnosis of ADHD, we thought our daughter should be checked out also.
Same sorts of issues at school and home, and behaviours (for the most part).
In the end, the same lady who confirmed my diagnosis stated our daughter was basically very smart and probably
bored with school (5th or 6th grade)... no diagnosis of anything.

My wife (a pediatrician) still thinks our daughter has ADD.
At this point I don't care about a diagnosis, I am learning to watch her and help her through the difficult times.
I'm also learning not to put my fears from the past onto her shoulders.
eta: I would gladly have her re-evaluated in the future if there appears to be a need. She knows all about me and my issues, so hopefully she'll see the benefits of getting a bit of help if she feels she needs it.

From what little I know of your situation, it is different than mine, but I do hope everything works out for your family's benefit.

"I've compiled a lengthy list of behaviors we've been dealing with and all of the sensory issues she has. I'm bringing the list with me to the evaluation."

Psychs LOVE this sort of stuff! Be prepared to not get a firm diagnosis on the first day....and then be prepared for a variety of diagnoses. Be a smart consumer and do your research....and remember - it's your job to be the parent, their job to be the doctor.

And in the end, it's not the diagnosis that is so important, it's being armed with the information and tools to effectively parent these kids.

Spoken from lessons learned the hard way.

Connie

well said

i remember taking son for testing....nerve-wracking! even worse, though, was waiting weeks and weeks for results..........it's a step in the right direction, though. best of luck. try to relax for a few minutes and enjoy some peace

Thank you so much everyone. Less than 2 weeks to go now...