How do I tell him?

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I am new to WP. I was advised almost a year ago by a profession that my son may have AS. Since than I have research all that I could. I have made an appointment for my son and will ask that it be made official. He knows he is not like other kids. He doesn't know why he acts like he does. He wants desperatly to be like other children. He is very smart and mulitive. I am worried that he will see this the wrong way. I don't want it to be used as a crutch. I want him to know so he can move forward but I don't know how to tell him so he uses that way. I need advise.

You can start out by telling him that he's a very smart kid. You can also tell him that he has AS. You can follow the news, by telling him that there's a part of his brain that's over-developed. You can also tell him that he's not ret*d, and that he's not sick, or crazy. You can tell him that he's lucky, because some kids with autism don't go to the bathroom, and they sit in the middle of the room, humming the same song, over again. You can also tell him that he will have no problems holding down an ideal job, or living on his own, when he grows up.

That's what my mum told me, a few months after I've found my documents, at the age of fifteen.

Joann, I think that you can relate to your son that AS is not a pathological condition. It's not like depression, or alcoholism, it is a type of "brain wiring" that perceives the world a little differently than the accepted norm.

Welcome to WP, hope you can learn from the experiences of others with AS etc.

Asperger people are not broken. They're whole people with wonderful brains. I told my son about how spacey Einstein is in some ways and what a smart and compassionate person he was. I told my son he has so much going on in this head and he is so hyper aware that it's like he has a puzzle that's 1000 pieces, while most of the kids in his school have a 250 piece puzzle. So, even if the school likes to think that they can create programs to rush his puzzle to have all the pieces in place at age 18, it isn't going to happen.

My son is in college now. He is careful to try to understand his reactions and what he needs to do about them. His puzzle is stll now finished but each time we find where the next piece goes, it's there forever and we start trying to put in the other pieces. He likes himself. That is the most rewarding thing for me.

Deal with him honestly. You've done the research and you know how much your son can understand. Help him to understand how wonderful he is. Point out his strengths and help him strengthen his weaknesses. It will work, but it will take time.

I like tht 1000 piece puzzle idea, a very appropriate analogy.

Let us know how things turn out.

When you get the 1000 piece puzzle moving along and the pieces start falling into place finally, you see that you have a real gem of a person that you raised. Parenthood is finally rewarding for me. He knows so much about himself now and does what he needs to to take the next step forward. It's hard work and what aspies face is hard. They have hyper aware temperaments that they are trying to tame all the time. They are very courageous people but they can make it, especially when parents are there affirming them for their courage.

Thank you all...It has been a very rough weekend. His appointment is not till the 17th. I have tried talking with him recently. The part that he is not broken is going to be hard, because he already thinks that. I have told him he will have to do things differently, it may take him longer to do things or prove to the other kids and people that he is nice, kind and can be a good friend. I know one of my biggest obsticales in the school. I have decided not to fret or worry about things till they come up.