A mom's feeling about the diagnosis...

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For 10 years I have know Katelyn was different". Now I have a name for it - but reading about Aspergers is intimidating. I am exhausted now form futile efforts - perhaps now my efforts can be more productive. Katelyn recently told me she "was broken" I told her she was special and learned differently. What a range of emoptions!

Hey there. I know how you feel, I went through my childhood convinced that I was stupid, then I thought I must be crazy, and finally just gave up completely on myself ever having a chance at life. Then I found this site, and the lights went on. It can be very tiring in the beginning, but look on the bright side. 20 years ago, when I could've used it, there were no books on this, and nobody helped me like you can help your daughter. It's a wonderful feeling to realize that NOTHING is actually broken or wrong in you, your'e just differently wired. Keep up the good work, and both of you keep smiling. Just take any drug-talk from doctors with a BIG grain of salt. If you can both manage without them, it's always the best way.

I just posted to your other thread in the General Autism discussion forum.

I noticed the person who posted before me was very rude. Most of the people on WP are very kind, not like that member at all.

I apologise if I seem rude to someone, but I don't see where I was. I was simply trying to point out that there are lots more resources out NOW that could have helped many of us THEN, and not to give up like I did before I found the site. It was not intentional to offend, just point out how and where, and I'll be happy to fix or reword it.

Oh, no problem

Oh, blessedmom, I saw that other post. I know what you mean.

ThaNKS to both of you for the encouraging words.. I am a pharmacist but do not believe in medicating for things that have other sucessful stratagies (geez, my spelling and typing need stratagies!) I think Katelyn's "broken" statement came more from the fact I was verbally dumping evidence in the pediatrician's lap - In her presence. this wss a first visit to yet a new doctor and i did not want to be patted on the arm and told "she will grow out of it " again... Guess I hadn't ever been that blunt in front of my daughter. She was overwhelmed and embarrassed/confused. She usually hears more encouragement directed to her. But she did like the new doc - young and female - and agreed to the evealuations that are being set up. It is good to find a spot where others understand us.

Aspergers people are whole wonderful people, not broken at all! I told my son that he was a German shephard in a classroom full of poodles! He feels comfortable with himself now but it took awhile for us to figure out what to do and who not to lsten to, like most consultants.

I can completely relate... I feel like I basically have to re-learn everything I thought I knew about being a good mom, it's so overwhelming. It can be so hard for me. My son was diagnosed in Kindergarten, but he had such a great teacher, who had experience working with aspies, that it was not an issue really at all.

Now he's in 1st grade, and the teacher I don't think has had that experience, and doesn't appear interested in being flexible (how ironic is that ). They just want to put him in a different class now.

Anyway, we will do our best

When I first read about Asperger's and high-functioning autism, I read and read and researched and studied, and basically drove myself crazy trying to understand this thing. Then I got depressed. Then I decided to lay off and not do anything for a while, so I could recover. Then I would get sucked into reading and reading some more. Then I would get depressed. Then I would stop for a while.

It seems like for a few years, I went through these cycles. In the beginning, you do need to do as much research as you can so that you feel like you have a handle on what Asperger's is all about. You just need to understand things. But then you need to take vacations from it, so you can gain some perspective.

I don't think most of us think of kids with Asperger's as broken, but instead as really interesting people who excel at things we can't even begin to understand, but need help with the social arena. It's more of a situation where you want to accentuate the positive, and minimize the negative, so that our children can lead happy, full lives. And it's been helpful for me to remember that NT children have a myriad of problems as well -- often making life with my PDD kid look like a piece of cake!

Kris

Hello KARANRPH,

I have had my 9 year old and 7 year old sons diagnosed withe Asperger's this year so I can understand what you've been through.

Having them post on WrongPlanet was fantastic for them both. They still post intermittently (lots during the school holidays)

My 9 year old son posts as AussieBoy (his real name is Jimmy).

My 7 year old sons posts as UbbyUbbyUbby (his real name is Daniel).

Perhaps you could sign your daughter up to WrongPlanet. She'll find she is not alone and will probably make lots of friends.

I've told my son Jimmy about her your daughter and he's said he would love to chat with her.

Regards
Helen

hang in there....getting a dx can be a bit overwhelming. happy because you've gotten a dx, but sad because you got a dx. lots of mixed emotions.