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Hi, I have a 12 yr old son who I am 99 percent sure has Aspergers, I havent had this confirmed yet as I am debating over the best way to go about it. He is my middle child, and out of all three I have always struggled to get along with him the most. I always new he was "different" but I was never sure why. I only found out about Aspergers in the last few weeks, and when I read about it, I was like, YES! That describes him to a T. It was as though the symptoms had been written about him. I am not proud of the way I have sometimes treated him in the past, because of his "differences",but I could never find a way to really connect with him. Its as though he doesn't seem to want to belong to our family. Looking back, of course, it seems glaringly obvious, you know what they say about hindsight. I worry a lot about the things he says to his five year old sister, they often play together, with her barbies, etc, and I often overhear strange things that he says to her. He starts high school next year, and I am worried about that too, I always knew he would find it hard, but now with this new information, I worry more! About how he will cope, etc. Sorry if I am rambling on, but I am feeling a tad overwhelmed at the moment, also feeling a lot of guilt for not doing something about this sooner..... Cheers.

Hello, Dan's Mum, this is Mary's Mum,

I have just recently come to the conclusion that my daughter has AS, too. She fits all the criteria, down to the hand flapping, sensitivity to clothing etc., etc. I guess I feel guiltiest about condeming her about not looking people in the eye and not being social enough to make friends. I didn't realize the anxiety that she suffers.

She starts High School next year, too.

Yes, xyzyxx, the child hasn't changed since discovery of the diagnosis, but the parent certainly has. My whole world has changed. I'm not saying for the worse, by no means, but there are more worries about the future.

Dan's Mum, don't feel guilt for not doing anything sooner, I certainly don't. We never saw anything "wrong" with our children. We accepted them and loved them for who they are.
I'm almost glad I went 14 years just thinking my daughter was "quirky". I've always taught my children that they should "dare to be different" and not just go along with the "sheeple".

I've always been proud to have such a unique daughter. I still am.

I'm now however, glad to be informed. The statistics on what her future holds is very depressing.
At least now I know what I might expect and to empower her to defy those expectations.


Mary's Mom

Guilt for not doing anything sooner??? Welcome to the club... we did not know about Aspergers until my son was 9 - he will be 11 in January. He was "normal" (but quirky) and no huge flags showed up until 3rd grade. So was all that time wasted? No, because we did everything possible (like parents of any child are supposed to do) to socialize, educate and help raise him to be the wonderful kid he is now.
Guilt will get you nowhere. Start reading everything you can and stay on this board - those things alone will help you to cope. GOod luck!

If there is any parent who has never made a mistake in raising their child I don't want to meet them. My personal inperfections are glareing enough.

For those who have just found out about Asperger's, now you just pick up an move on from here.