Aspie has no road sense ! !

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HELP ! !! !!

For about the fourth time this year my son has nearly been hit by a car as he's attempting to cross the road ! !

Only for one of these instances was I actually present - we were approaching the road with Husband and Son talking to each other, and Son just kept on going. A car came around the corner and Son was yanked back by Husband (rather brutally too) and then yelled at ("What's the matter with you ??! !").

The other times have been whilst coming home from school. Nana picks him (and his sister) up from school, but doesn't actually go into the grounds to do so, she parks up and waits for them. Sometimes it's around the corner (where they don't have to cross roads), or sometimes it is across the road (but there is a patrolled crossing with school guards). In the latest incident though, she was parked not only across the main road (with patrolled crossing), but also across the road from the next one. When they cross the main road, they enter a cul de sac, and Nana was parked at the end of this cul de sac on the other side. Now apparently Daughter and Son were doing OK until they got to the road. Daughter stopped and looked. Son stopped and looked. Difference ends there. A car was coming and Daughter waited. Son, unfortunately, didn't. Lady in oncoming car had to slam on the brakes to avoid ploughing into him ! !

I have now forbade Son to cross the road without adult supervision. I unfortunately stated this in a rather loud voice. I then had to assure him that I wasn't angry with him (I was scared witless ! !), and that it wasn't really his fault, but part of his Aspergers. I said that he basically lives in a little bubble (and showed him) and that is all he sees. He will need to learn to see passed that bubble to the world around him, and therefore avoid incidences like this happening. I stressed that it is something he will have to learn and that it will take some time, but until then he is NOT allowed to cross the road unless an adult is there with him.

I then get to thinking about Nana..... I have left Son in her care, she knows what he's like with roads, and yet she parks such that he has to cross a road to get to her ! !! !! I also feel that I can't really berate her, as she is, essentially, doing me a favour by picking the kids up anyway (she is, after all, 67 or somewhere close).

Can anybody assist me with this most scary problem ?????

(sorry for the ramble)

Sometimes I have problems with identifying where to go next but my overall judgement is quite good I think. I havent been in an accident since I got my licence. Also I can rarely phaze out on the road, so later on I can just sort of "wake up" and find myself in an area and have no idea of how I got there.

It took 5 years for my now 8y old mid son to realize the fact hospitalization is boring. Not that he doesn't have a clue about traffic, he's the only one of my three kids with traffic sense, but on food. He's allergic to cow milk proteine, so he carries adrenaline 24/7 with him. It just takes time to sink in. Unfortunately, you have to sometimes do a different approach with things. Because yelling won't help. The worst year, we called for ambulance 6 times, and visited emergency 14 times besides that just for him. It's lovely to have children :- )

Hi! Im going to be watching this thread with great interest Im sorry I know it wont help you but my 8 year old is exactly the same. We cant let him out of our sight. He hates it but, its better to be safe than sorry. Good luck

How old is your son? My nearly 11 year old is almost to the point where he looks both ways every time. It has taken YEARS of me and my husband yelling at each intersection to remind him to look- otherwise he would keep walking. He literally just doesn't look up when he's walking. We've nagged him constantly about that too. He's the kind of kid that would like to read a book while he takes a walk! We have 2 dogs that we walk nearly every night and it has given my son lots of practice. As he got a little older we stopped reminding him to look and just watched to see if he would watch for cars on his own. When he did we praised him abundantly and finally one day I actually saw him do it on his own several times!! I still get nervous because there are many more other interesting things going on in his mind than watching for cars- but he can do it.

I think my son can be taught nearly anything - he has social deficits, short term memory issues (where are we going? I just told you 2 minutes ago) An example is we have a gate for our dogs that has to be opened every time we pull our car out of the driveway. I decided my son was old enough to do that task but it was initially met with resistance by him - he said "I'll never remember to do that" But every single time (without fail) when we got outside we gave him a little reminder to open the gate and then close it when we returned home and slowly as the weeks passed we saw if he would remember to do it on his own - sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. Once again like with the safely crossing the street thing when he did it on his own we praised him a lot. It really made him feel good that he CAN remember (I think he just doesn't want to). Now 99.9% of the time he remembers to open and close the gate on his own. I refuse to believe that my son who can do complicated math problems in his head can't be taught to remember to do simple everyday tasks I just think (in my sons case) he just doesn't WANT to.

Our kids can be "the absent minded professors" but they don't HAVE to be especially when their safety is involved.

Smiley64 I sympathise with you, I really do. My son is almost 15 and it worries the hell out of me when he's out. He does LOOK he just doesn't seem to SEE!

The worst times are when we go abroad - we were in Spain this year and of course everyone drives on the other side of the road. It was terrifying watching him!!

Take the oppertunity to educate you son when you can.

When my boy and I come to a road crossing.
I make him make the decision, so he gets practice in making that decision.
This increases the likelyhood that he will make the decision when he is on his owm.

Thanks so much for all your input.

Rachel46, he's 10 (11 in Feb).

EvilTeach - I do TRY to get him to make the decision when crossing, but if we are with his father, then it all goes south ! ! This w/e for example, we were out walking and roads were being crossed, I tried to get Taylor to make the decision, but husband said that he (Taylor) had looked and so they just crossed. I tried to explain that Taylor needs to be the one to say 'let's go", but it does appear to be falling on stubborn, deaf ears ! !

What's irritating is that, when asked how to cross the road, Taylor will tell you exactly how you do it - he just doesn't seem to be able to put it into practise.

My husband is the same way! Just keep doing what you're doing and maybe it will sink in - sometimes it takes repeated (and I don't mean just 5 times - try 5 x 100) experiences for both of them to get it. Don't give up!

In our state you can get your drivers license at 15 years old. I nearly hyperventilate thinking about my 13 yo in two years behind the wheel. Good think he can't get the license until I say he can. Whew!! We have also had problems with him crossing the street without looking. "Bubble" is an excellent way to describe his world.

My 15y/o daughter STILL has to be watched with roads much of the time. It's REALLY awful!! ! Not for me, so much , but her! She's VERY bright (surprise, surprise!) but common sense and road sense seem to be TOTALLY beyond her!

Scariest thing is that she is talking about getting a moped next year!! ! :80: NOT IN MY LIFETIME!! !