I want to hear my son say Mama

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My son is turning two soon. I still wait for him to say Mama, as an actual meaningful word. He will ask for his daddy, by saying "dadadadadada". He doesn't really say "Dada" either. He doesn't try to call his sister by name, or even sissy or anything. He doesn't say cat (we have one, he loves it) he just squeals at it in sheer delight. He can say "I did it!" and he says that about everything from getting out of his crib to eating his dinner to removing his own diaper. For everything he wants, he cries. He will say "EAT!" but he has no words for what he wants (i.e. can't or won't say cracker, milk, juice, etc.). Oh, and he does say "Jump", which he loves to do if you hold onto him, especially on the bed.

I've tried everything to get this kid talking. I read to him every day, sometimes several times a day. I tell him everything I do, I explain what everything is. I have tried pretending I don't know what he wants, in an attempt to get him to try to use his words...but he just collapses into a frustrated crying fit.

Now, he understands things amazingly well. If we're in the living room and I tell him to go get a fresh diaper, he will go get it and bring it to me. If I tell him we'r going bye-bye, he goes for his shoes and starts reaching for the door knob. He gets pretty miffed if I don't follow the routine as it usually goes, and he'll pull his shoes and socks off and cry on the floor.

It's hard watching him not develop. Mostly I've been able to let it go, but I read my childcare books. For his 23rd month, he has now officially missed a milestone. Sigh. I can't just hope anymore. It's time for his autism evaluation. He seems to be flapping more, and he's been toe walking too. My daughter (4 yrs) was diagnosed just one week ago. I was very positive about all of it, very upbeat and strong and all of that. Now I just feel sad I'm feeling quite bipolar about the whole thing. One minute I feel like it's nothing we can't handle, and the next I contemplate the struggles that lie ahead of them and I want to cry. I know what it's like growing up on the spectrum, and it isn't easy.

I guess I just needed to get that all out.

I know what it's like to be sad for similar reasons, Mama.

My son had a substantial language delay, too. Introducing him to sign language was what sparked him to learn more words and become verbal. Learning from dvds was easier for him than learning from real people. I whole-heartedly recommend Signing Time.

Be happy for what he is, not what he's not; teach him this, show him this and give him this, it's what he deserves. He'll have an easy life, no matter whether he's autistic or not, if he knows this from an early age. Love him as he loves you, life is only hard because others make it hard for us.

What he's not isn't him.

This is just my opinion however, 26 years of living with this disorder gives one insight into who we are and what we want, not what others want of us.

I know it must be hard, I can't even imagine what it must be like waiting for him to call you mama. Still, you must have faith he will talk in time. I hope it doesn't take too much longer, and good luck ^^

Hang in there! He will talk when he is ready. My 13 year old son with AS was almost 3 before he began calling us by our names or trying to converse with us. I had him to hearing specialists and for speech evaluations. Physically there was nothing wrong. He could say a few things, he just wouldn't. Now at 13, he still rarely talks to anyone unless he has something important to say, he's in a really happy mood or we ask him direct questions. He says talking feels weird.

My 16 year old with AS talked early (complete sentences by 24 months) and read early but he didn't talk much, either and he still doesn't. He says he's too busy thinking.

I also run a dayhome and have been working with toddlers for 20 years. The milestones are simply a guideline. For every child that I have in my care that says 20 or more words at your child's age, there are 2 or 3 that don't. I have 2 children here now, one is 30 months and is putting together sentences. The other is 27 months and says approx. 15 words that can be understood. They are very different children. I cringe whenever I have to do a developmental milestone evaluation because the parents get so upset if the child doesn't meet the guidelines right on. At 2 I tell them there is a 3 to 6 month gray area on each side of the milestones. Some kids are early, some are right on, some are a little slower.

I know being patient gets to be difficult to do after awhile and you've been through alot lately with your daughter just having her evaluation. Remember that you aren't alone. We've all either been where you are or are going through it, too. I'll be thinking about you.

Lauri

Hey, wait a minute...are you raising my younger son? Our six-year-old has AS, and our younger son will be two in December, but he's not talking either, not even "mamamamama" or "dadadadada" on a regular basis. And he's very verbal, making all kinds of sounds all the time. And he is understanding sign language. And, like your son, he knows a ton of words. If you ask him "where's the tiger" in a book, he can always find it. If you ask him to go get his favorite book, he can go get it. So he's quite intelligent and already has a great sense of humor, he makes eye contact, but he does have occasional meltdowns (and, no, they're not tantrums), for no apparent reason, which are difficult assuage. So we're not sure if he's just not talking because he has an older sibling or if it's something more.

You don't. Really. 'Cos when we get started we never stop!

j/k

Siuan, I'd like to tell you about another little aspie who was a tad late in the language department: At the age your son is now, he only had a few "standard phrases" (such as "red-and-yellow-and-green", and "Watch oooout!"), which he'd blurt out seemingly at complete random. Try to make him say his name, and he'd happily reply with "Oooo-bee", a word that makes no sense in the language that was supposed to be his native.

Then, at about three years of age, he "opened up" and started talking like a waterfall: Straight talk that is; not baby-babble. His mom describes it as "It's like he simply skipped baby-babble and kept quiet until he got the language right.". Actually, at some points the talking was a little too much of a good thing, as he would often converse himself, and be quite an "Inquisitive Tom" (imagine the fouy-year-old going "Mommy, what's the Moon made of, and why is it there?"). He "jumped the gun" and tought himself to read and write years before starting at school; tricking adults into "revealing" more bits of that "secret code of the alphabet" by asking e.g. "What's that sign say?"

This little fellow is currently a 36-year-old man, who's right now typing a reply (in a language not native to him) in a forum to provide hope for parents of less talkative kids

Some things apparently stands still for a while, then make a sudden leap. If my story is anything to "go by", all your reading, explaining what you do/want etc., is the right stuff; it's doing its work behind the scenes, kind of "dialling in" the language. When things seem to stand still for a long time, he may very well be "winding up the spring" in preparation for the leap. And I hope and believe that some time (although there's no telling when) he IS going to leap into the land of language!

I have SO been there! My son is not diagnosed yet (I'm just now learning about Asperger's) but I keep reading these posts feeling like I have written them-it's eerie! (and a relief! )

When Sam was the same age as yours-he's ten now- I was struggling with the same thing. He knew words, he could speak from time to time, but he had a key phrase ('not really') that he said all the time and that was pretty much it. Didn't respond to his name, hardly ever said mama or dada, didn't react to the things I said...it made me so sad sometimes. I wanted my son to show me that he knew who I was and what I was to him. It did happen, but it took a long time...I think it was much closer to three when he responded to his name and said Mama and Dada. Closer to four when he'd actually carry on conversations. He's a chatterbox now-you'd never imagine that he was such a quiet toddler.

It will happen for you too...sometimes it's very hard to be patient, especially when you are seeing mothers with their chattering, talkative tots all around, but it's worth the wait.

I know this is hard...I went through it and everyday we celebrate when he says a new word...

With that said, how I got him to say Daddy was I bought him a Nemo and Daddy book...I put a picture of him with his daddy in the front of the book and would then read the Nemo and Daddy book to him...always going back to the picture of him and his daddy...This is how he finally got to say Daddy...I'm assuming there is probably a kiddo and mommy book somewhere, maybe with one of his favorite characters or something that you can do the same...if not, at least any book about mommy and babies/kids, and so he can make that relation between you (mommy) and himself.

Good luck!