Frustrated With Picky Eating

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My son is 10, and he has limited his diet to the point that the only thing he will eat is junk food. I have tried all manner of tricks to get him to eat healthier, or even just try something new. He won't even taste of a new food. He doesn't like spices. He doesn't like sauces. He's hung up on brands, even if the store brand tastes exactly the same as the regular brand. He swears it tastes funny. Half the time, even things he usually likes, the proper brands, taste funny.

He will only eat one brand of deli cheese. One brand of peanut butter. One brand of sausage. One brand of instant mashed potatoes. He will want to try something, and I'll buy it, and then he'll put it next to his tongue and make a face. Then whatever he wanted to try gets thrown away. I have tricked him into eating somewhat healther by buying baked chips, whole grain bread, and things like that. I can't offer any food more than once a week or he's burned out on it and won't eat it. He doesn't like meat. He'll only eat processed chicken, not fresh chicken, not matter if I fry, bake, grill or broil it. He'll eat seafood, but I can't afford to buy crab legs and lobster every day, and he's now tired of shrimp.

Fixing lunch for him is almost impossible, and I end up packing snacks because he won't eat a sandwich. He won't eat a peanut butter sandwich, and he won't eat lunch meat except salami. I don't know what else to do with him. I refuse to feed him junk food all the time. I keep offering healthier alternatives and he refuses to even try them. He will eat no vegetables, except potatoes and occaisionally peas. He will eat no fresh fruit, sometimes he'll eat some canned fruit. He doesn't like red meat, and he will only eat fried chicken from a restaurant.

Can anyone give me any suggestions of what I could try? This is very frustrating, and I'm tired of food battles. I'd just like for him to try something besides processed junk food. I'm considering buying nothing but fresh meat, fruit and vegetables, and then he'll have to eat that or starve. There has to be a way. He actually ate more variety of foods when he was younger, and the picky eating just gets worse as he gets older.

Any help at all is appreciated.

It's likely a phase. My son went from eating meat to eating processed chicken nuggets to no meat at all. Your son is probably not liking the texture of meat.
The brand thing is still a big problem, he only eats one brand of pizza (cheese) but at least there is both cheese and tomato sauce on it. He still favors breads and bread textures. Have you tried pancakes? I make them for dinner everyonce in a while and put wheat germ in them. I have used wheat germ since my son was first eating and so he doesn't know any different.

Don't throw food away. You're letting him know that it's okay to throw away food which isn't a good message. If the substitution is reasonable (same texture of known food that he likes) then don't let him skip on it. Let him go hungry a couple of times.
I give my son Ovaltine and oatmeal in the morning which provide most of his vitamins and minerals and lots of fiber. At lunch he gets plain toast, Goldfish, Stax potato chips and cookies. Dinner is always pizza, french fries (homemade) or pancakes. or refried beans and a quesadilla.
I just keep on modelling healthier eating and hope that soon he'll branch out more.

Kim,

I have tried all manner of foods, and the only reason I end up throwing food away is because I store it and it doesn't get eaten. Usually he'll want to try something that I don't like.

Pancakes are out. He won't eat those. I know the meat texture is an issue, because he'll eat ground up meats, like hamburger, but not steak or roast beef. He complains about having to chew his food, and likes things he can swallow whole.

He was actually doing a little better with this, but now he's back to limiting the foods he'll eat to the point that I don't know what to fix anymore.

We are down to:

Chicken nuggets or patties (the frozen Tyson ones)
French Fries
Applesauce
Plain noodles ( only sometimes)
Goldfish/potato chips/corn chips
Fruit Roll Ups
Cheese (only one brand)
Ice cream

I think that's about it, unless I buy it from a fast food restaurant, then he'll magically eat. Or if we go out, then he eats.

except for the lack of pancakes or waffles, that's definitely the Autistic Pantry!

Try substituting Quorn "Chik'n" nuggets for chicken. It's made from mushrooms and is really good. It's really popular in Europe. For some reason it hasn't caught on here in the States.
Watch the fruit rollups, some are real and some are just jelly with corn syrup in them. I stopped buying them because my son thinks they are really fruit.
Will your son drink soy milk? I substituted it when Pop had a cold and he likes it just as much as real milk. It is usually enriched with B vitamins and has fiber in it.

I eat my son's rejects or give it to the dog. Yeah, I'm fat but the point is, we don't throw food away just cuz. I know I might sound harsh at the moment. But I threw away a lot of food when I was a kid and it's not a real good habit.

I understand that you're frustrated, and these are AS tendancies to be picky eaters, but you're the parent not him. Kids in general will want to dictate what they eat, but sometimes you just have to put your foot down and tell him what he will eat. If he wont stop eating junk, then stop buying it. He'll pitch a fit, probably will threaten to not eat, but you must be stronger. Once he gets hungry, he'll eat what you give him.

my DH is also a very picky eater. He eats only a very few types of take out food, and all manners of salty, or bread-y snack type foods. Other than that, most of his nutrition comes from liquids. Thank god he drinks milk! And he's 33 years old.
Food is quite often a huge issue for Aspies, and it ties in with the socialization thing. My DH cant accompany me to a restaurant, or do family dinners, or even eat my cooking, and I'm a classically trained French chef working in restaurants!
What he has suggested as advice for picky eating...offer everything. Have it in the house, and then let him eat what he wants. If he feels like today is a day he can eat a piece of celery, then he knows its there. If for the next two weeks he has to live on Kraft dinner (and not the store brand version), then so be it. All that matters is that he is getting enough calories to survive, ultimately. And it will be one less stress on an already stressed out kid!
But most of all, dont make food your battleground, or it could get worse and worse. And yes, an Aspie male (and maybe females, dont know, havent met any) is just about stubborn enough to starve rather than eat something that they dont think they can.

Peace

to Goche 21:
I understand that you need to put your feet down. My son is extremely stubborn. I tried to take the bottle away at 1 & 2 yrs old. He did not want any part in that. At 3 years I finally went cold turkey and told him he can't have anything to drink until he drank his milk in
a cup. (I tried crazy straws, cool sippy cups, chocolate or strawberry milk-to no avail) He drank only a 1/4cup of milk in 1 week. (a couple sips a day) He drank no other liquid durings that week. The only way he would drink milk was in a bottle. I still took the bottle away but he stopped drinking milk. He's now 9 and he will not touch milk. I try to supplement with cheese, Go-gurts, etc and I give him gummy bear vitamins. He is still picky (he eats 2 scrambled eggs at dinner at least 5 nights a week) and he eats the same thing for lunch every day. If I have somethng he hasn't tried, I ask if he would like to taste. 99% of the time he answers no. I don't try to make him eat it. I hope that as he gets older he may want to try something new. (it occasionaly does happen)

Like everybody said picky eaters is common among autistics. I was the exact same way, had the have to same lunch, same drink, made the same way or all hell would break loose. The only way my mother got me to try new things was letting me steal if off her plate. I had ODD, meaning always did the opposite, never listened. So my mother would make all these wonderful foods while I still had my normal routine, and I wanted to see what it taste like, considering it always looked better going into somebody elses mouth haha, go figure, and would try to steal it off her plate, since she knew I was going to be the opposite, she then pretended to not let me, for awhile, and then would casually turn her head away, and I would take some food. I didn't know she was playing at all, but she said that was the only way she would get me to try new food. Maybe you have to make it seem really appetizing, and try to coax him that its the best food ever. Hope that helps a little. I still today am a verry picky eater.

Goche21, I understand what you're saying and for a while there was no junk in my house. I still buy very little "snack foods." I finally had to give in though because it became obvious that my son wasn't going to eat. He is stubborn enough that he will starve, say he isn't hungry, or whine and beg until he gets the foods from his list of things. The meltdowns I had over food weren't worth denying him treats just so he would try something new.

I do have good luck getting him to try things at someplace like a buffet. And if he asks for something, and I catch it on sale reasonable, I will buy it to try. I try to include him in the food shopping, preparation process, and that does help a little.

I'm just starting to run out of items for lunches, in particular. He won't eat the school lunches very often, most of the time not at all. He's been begging to try the Gogurts, but he has never liked yogurt, so I'm resistant on buying them.

Age1600, my son is a little like that. Sometimes he'll surprise me.

The Wife says I am and I suppose I am. I liken it to phases among food groups. It changes. I think it is more what the body is demanding it needs and I listen to it.

There is a historical fact related to this. During the Age of Expansion, sailors would go on long sea voyages, where there was no fresh food available, only salted meat and dry bread. As a result, sailors developed scurvy, rickets, and beriberi (diseases caused by vitamin deficiencies). To combat this problem, captains and ship officers started bringing sauerkraut onboard: it provided vitamins and traveled well for a long time. Sailors, however, refused to eat this new food. So the officers would eat it themselves, not allow sailors to have it, and at the same time, leave the barrel of sauerkraut out in plain sight. Angered by seeing officers eat the food they're not allowed to have, they'd steal from the barrel while the officers weren't looking, and eat handfuls of sauerkraut. In the end, the sailors got their daily vitamins. Now if this worked that long ago, surely it might work in this day and age.

Tayana: you may want to see if there is another mom that you know that has Gogurts. That way you can get one from her and not have to buy a box that may end up being thrown out. My son loves Gogurt and
they are great to put in the freezer. You can put it in his lunchbox and it defrosts quickly and it will be cold by the time he eats lunch. He may
just want to eat it frozen. It might taste like ice cream to him. I know what you mean about starving. My son would starve to death if I told
him he had to eat certain foods. As I said earlier in the post, I tried
to limit liquids and make him drink milk (not from a bottle) and he
refused. I lost that battle because he would have ended up being dehydrated. He tells me to this day, that he won't drink milk because it tastes funny not being in a bottle! Aspies can be VERY stubborn!

Suggestion makes sense, for some temperaments/personalities-I'm an oppositional person (though that does not explain my excessive reactions to sensory stimuli). If sweets are the restricted item, that only makes them even more enticing, so working on setting up different categories* could help, however gradually. *Such as calling nutritious food "grown-up", making it seem off-limits but in way that lets kid get curious about it, and perhaps develop interest in such items. To some extent, if I'm told I cannot (fill in the blank) then I want to. Perception of scarcity/rarity might cause person to value/desire certain food items more. It's possible, at least.


These descriptions fit this aspie female (me), and I've been like this since age 2 (32 years ago). Had screaming fights with family over food I wouldn't eat, and hostility lingers from those bad times (my ASD dx is quite recent). When given no tolerable options for food, I'd eat raw/uncooked/hard/dry pasta and packets of Equal, which is all I could find at father's house (where all manner of "healthy"/"wholesome"/natural foods were served).


Lack "will-power" but I've endless reserves of "won't-power". Retain low opinion of those (in my past) who advised "just let her 'starve', if she's hungry enough she'll eat what we offer"-they were wrong & didn't "win". Criticizing me sure didn't help anything whatsoever, either-just gave me more problems !
It's not my place to tell another person whether to hassle his/her child about what the kid eats-can only say it wasn't worth the resentment & venom that resulted between myself & my family, plus all their effort just interfered with my realizing that I really do have problem. Was so invested in resisting them that I was unable to understand that my food selectivity issues cause me distress, even without anyone trying to influence me. Not to mention, the mealtime battleground situation of past times hasn't improved my range of taste preferences, despite the guilt trips, threats, and warnings.


That's basically how I percieve it, my brain tells my body (or my body tells my brain) what it wants-sugar butter & salt. Extremely narrow "comfort zone" of foods that appeal to me, and I refuse to consume (eat or drink) materials that I despise, that bring me unpleasant sensations.

I find it amazing that your list is so close to what my almost seven year old (who has Asperger's) will eat. He will only eat the Tyson chilcken nuggets, french fries, plain noodles (only if they don't stick together), mac and cheese, goldfish, fruit roll ups, cheese, ice cream, one brand of fish sticks, strawberries, sometimes bananas, and yogurt. That's it. Nothing else. I've tried to force him to at least try other foods, but he actually vomited (twice). He takes a vitamin every day, and I guess that'll just have to do. It is SOOO frustrating at times, though. If we want to go anywhere, we have to prepare his food in advance. School lunches are near impossible. I know the teachers must think I'm a horrible mom, but that's just the way it is.

A couple of things I should have added.

I really don't care too much about food. I suppose a few exceptions to that rule of thumb, but for the most part, eating is a pain in the butt. Not on my list of priorities.

My kids went through spurts or stages. Their tastes changed as they did. A good multivitamin kept them healthy when they were in a none eating mood. I also found changing the name got them interested. I made a dish called, spaghetti and yuck. Which really was spaghetti with a cream of mushroom base sauce, a few more additives. They tittered and tee-hee'd enough that they couldn't wait to eat it. There were others, but I was proud of that one and have forgotten the others. Texture was very important to one. And yeah sometimes for whatever reason, we have things that just don't taste good to us. I still can't stand the taste of milk and the turmoil of being forced into it everyday, well it could have been avoided, way less trauma. Love almost all the other dairy products, but white milk just to drink gags me to this day. Add it in cooking and it's fine, but straight from the cow, forget it.

I remember my brother, who like me was very picky (but moreso). He definitely has some aspie traits, but my genetic link is definitely my father (undiagnosed) and my brother doesn't share the same father . . . meh. Off track, sorry.

At one point in his childhood, my mother said that he was only eating 8 things, and that was only if you counted the peanut butter, jelly and bread separate, and cereal and milk separate too.

Have you tried really plain chicken noodle soup? That's one of my safe foods. It's very bland. I remember liking it a lot as a kid too. I'm undiagnosed too, but my psychiatrist is exploring the possibility (he brought it up to me one day). Baked potatoes are good too. Especially if you can get him to eat the skins (high in vitamins). I remember that there was a point where I was living off of hamburger patties, baked potatoes and creamed corn.

Finally when I started eating vegetables (sometime in high school), my mother would steam them and then not add very much in the way of salt/butter/spices. In fact, she would only use a little salt and pepper. No spices, no butter.

Strangely enough, another thing that I would eat as a kid was artichokes. The whole thing. You steam for like 45 minutes and then tear the leaves off and scrape the meat off with your teeth after having dipped it in melted butter with a little salt. And then you get down to the heart. Mmm.

How does he feel about apples? Bananas? Pears? Peaches? I always liked canned peaches because you didn't have to chew them. If he likes canned stuff, get it; who cares how you get your fruit anyhow?

How about plain white rice? Or brown rice? Do you ever make homemade bread? I loved that as a child because it tasted good, unlike the store bought stuff with all the preservatives.

My parents would always make me eat at least one bite of everything on my plate and then they wouldn't let me have snacks later.

What about pretzels? Saltines? Cottage cheese? I used to like ramen noodles as a kid too, but without the extra spices added. Hey, you might see if you can't get him interested in cooking and get interested in the effort that goes into making dinner. Have you tried hotdogs with him? I used to eat them raw. What about turkey bacon? It's less fatty than real bacon and has a better taste, I think.

What are his special interests? Are there any ways that you could connect cooking/food to his special interest(s)?

I was obsessed with the teenage mutant ninja turtles at one point. All they ate was pizza. I soon found myself liking pizza.

Don't despair. I ate the same lunch for 12 years straight and then swore off of peanut butter and jelly for 4 years. And now I can eat squash, bell peppers, zucchini, green beans, sauerkraut, fish . . . all these things. It just took me longer than most.