Does anyone elses child do this...

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I think I can see now why J's school think I'm carrying on. Yesterday he had his first O.T. appointment, because of the time of the appointment his school said just bring him in after lunch, which I did.
When I went to pick him up, I was waiting outside his class room before the bell and I could see him thru the window, he was sitting on the mat, not talking, not looking happy ,not looking sad just sitting there quietly, other kids were talking and moving around him. ( J was diagnosed originally with adhd mostly because of the sqwirming and talking I think) Anyway, the bell went and I went to the door to get him and I was going to talk to his teacher. J seen me and was not happy he said he wanted to go straight home he was going to walk if he had to, he was begging me to leave right now! I asked him what was wrong he wouldn't talk about it. He just wanted to go. I sent him out to the play ground and told him I would be there shortly then we could leave. I went back into the class room and talked to his teacher about what I needed to, then asked her if anything had happened before home time (iexplained J's behaviour) she said no he was fine he didnt do all his work and had to be asked to keep working, but he was fine. I said that I had been concerned that he may have been a little unsettled starting his school day half way thru, she looked at me like I was stupid. Sorry this is so long.
Any way my question is does anyone elses kid act out only with them, I think J just bottles it up (goes real quiet which isnt him) until he sees me or is safe at home. Is this usual behaviour? No wonder why they think Im stupid they (the school) dont see it, I cope it.
Help, advise anything would be great.

I used to work with kids with all sorts of disabilities and it was common they didn't like to see parents at school or vice versa as it decompartmentalises their life. Most had different ways of behaving at school/home depending on what they could 'get away with'.
I am the same, I like to keep the different areas of my life separate.

I don't think teachers have so much time to look at each child as much as we would hope as parents, so be careful that the teachers don't start to think you are demanding extra attention for you/your child. Maybe save talking to them if only something really important happens.

I was like your son. School and home were separate, I didn't like any overlap. I also knew I was expected to behave a certain way in school and public, so I did, but when I got home I unleashed it. I had a tendency to be quite sarcastic (still do) when stressed out. I also needed quiet when I got home, and it was always insane instead. I think that contributed to my issues.

I was able to be "friendlier" at school (or any other setting outside of home) but that has a lot to do with my relationship with my parents. So, grownups might comment on my chattiness or singing to myself and that bothered my parents because I was so closed up and silent at home.
Teachers seem to focus on the negative to them. Your son was quiet and kept his hands to himself, "he was fine". He chats, argues or touches others, "he had a bad day".
What you saw through the window doesn't look fine if that's the norm. I'd drop in more often and at different times to get a better idea of how he does in school when he doesn't know you're there. Dropping in, in our case, has uncovered abuse and unnoticed problems.

My 9 year old behaves at school - he used to bottles it up all day then have major meltdowns at home.

Our lovely/brilliant Special Ed teacher put in a strategy to help with this. He sees our 9 year old for the last 10 minutes of school every day. They talk about any problems he's had at school - any frustrations/events that have confused him.

Since this has been put in place, our 9 year old has stopped having meltdowns in the afternoon.

Our 7 year old tends to be the opposite - good at home and meltsdown at school.

Helen

my son does this......be careful , though.....my son said that he just wanted to go home, and he did ! he ran 5 miles to get home...meanwhile we're all looking in the bushes and calling the cops to figure out where he is. such a panic !
His only response when we found him at home was: I said I was going home.

I tend to try and keep things inside till I can't hold it in and explode.
Sometimes I seem upset when I'm not, other times I seem fine and I'm not.
There are times I need to leave a situation immeadiently for no particular reason even if there isn't a problem. If there is aproblem I oftan have the same response.
Sometimes things are just to compicated to fully understand or explain, nothing is really as simple as it seems.