What should I expect, if and/or when a diagnoses comes in?

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You people are probably sick of me by now, sorry.
I'm in Melbourne Australia so I dont know if our system is the same here as it is for all of you. I have had 5 appointments now in the last 7 weeks with the doc's that are assessing my son. They still haven't given me a diagnoses they want to wait till they have everything in, we are still awaiting speech assessment appointment and they want to do another cognitive assesment. I met with them on Monday to talk about J's original diagnoses, which was adhd, they did say at the end of that appointment they dont think he has adhd.
They are saying they believe he will need alot of social skills training, and that he appears to be an extremely anxious child. He needs an OT for fine motor and some gross motor, I have now had to organise this privately by myself because the public waiting list is so long.
What is social skills training? who does this? What should I be expecting to happen, what interventions may I be looking at? Either with an asd diagnoses or if he doesn't get one, does anyone know? I dont know if anyone else has ever felt like this but I have found I am second guessing myself all the time now, I think because I have had to pick all my sons behaviours to pieces for the doc's, to me I am now wondering does he sound worse than he is? Have I forgotten something? Does this all make sense to them? Yesterday he didnt seem to different from his peers ( still a little different but not so bad) today he is very teary, sucking on his arm, twirling his hair obsessing over certain thoughts. ( theses are just thoughts going thru my head) Are these normal thoughts, is this a normal reaction. I dont always know how to answer all these questions imediatly because J is J and we have accepted him for who he is. I even had a day the other day when thoughts were going thru my head I dont know who he is anymore ( which is really silly, because he is still J nothing there has changed) I am so sorry that all my posts here are so long, I keep coming here reading the posts because your kids sound like mine, for the first time ever I feel I dont need to explain J's actions/emotions/behaviours its like you guys are going thru very similar things with your kids. Any way enough this post is so long now, I just thought I better explain Im confussed anxious, tired but at the same time relieved to have found some where I can go where I may get a little understanding. Any feed back to the questions I asked at the start of this post would be very welcome, as would any feed back as to the state of my overloaded brain lol. Thanks guys

The most imoprtant thing for me is that my child is happy!! Yes get therapy and do whatever you have to do but don't forget this does not define who he is, it's just something he has. I hope you get more answers to your question and just stay strong falling to pieces even though sometimes you might feel that way, does not help him. Don't feel bad about what you write on a forum, that is what a forum is all about. I wish you all the best!!

I second guess myself all the time. I know what you are saying. I wonder if by telling a certain story about a particular behavior, if it doesn't make it seem more important in my mind than it really is. Like what if he were just having a bad day, and I picked that particular story to tell that makes him sound worse than he is, then that story sticks, while maybe I missed all the other times when he might not have been doing that? It really can make a person nuts when you have to try to explain and explain things to different people.

In our city, so many different people run social skills classes, from play group-for-profit types to speech and language therapists. I opted for the latter because my son attended speech camp there over the summer and made remarkable improvements. He isn't going to start until he turns 4, so I don't have any more info for you except that.

Sorry I don't know the details from your previous posts? How old is your son? I would be interested in hearing what kinds of services they eventually offer you there in Australia. My son is 3 1/2.

we are still in pre-diagnosis state - our ped suggested AS and is arranging testing. There is so much out there, I am overwhelmed. In a recent visit to the hospital (me) I met 2 moms of AS kids and got lots of info -- i have contact numbers and e-mails addresses BUT this week all we could do was muddle thru homework assignments. I feel like i tread water most of the time. I have found myself more patient with K lately. I guess that's progress. I understand the feeling of frustration and being overwhelmed.

k

I found myself acting more Aspie.

It really shouldn't take them so long to arrive at a diagnosis but perhaps this is normal since there is still much to be known about autism.