Is laughing a stim?

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Today my son has his music class...Half-way through, he started laughing, but he was having a great time as everyone was playing an instrument and singing, etc...He's normally a very happy kid...smiling and laughing alot.

There's another child in the class who's 2 yrs older (8) who also has HFA. His mother came to tell me that my son had started to laugh in the class and that "I needed to help him control his laughter" because other older kids where looking at him and staring at him...and that her son normally just starts flapping his hands and cringing when he gets anxious and she's taught him to breathe to calm himself down. She was freaking out telling me how I HAD to get him to stop or as he got older other kids would make fun of him, etc...Of course, the MOTHER was telling me this in a very "hyper" way...moving her hands alot, etc...Which to me was funny since she talks so much about her kid...

Anyway, does anyone have any ideas if this indeed is a stim or something that I should teach him to control? I just kind of feel like he does have some quirks and I try to help him with talking about nothing sometimes...but at the same time, I feel that if I do so much to get him to stop these things, he's no longer himself...I'm kind of stuck.

Actually, I almost feel like as he gets older people (especially parents of children with autism) are the first to judge him and tell me what I MUST do...otherwise, I'm not doing a good job...hmmm...Maybe it's me, but she even told my husband and he kind of freaked too...

She's a sweet lady, I like her very much and I do understand that we should help our kids, but to what extent?

As always, your opinions are greatly appreciated.

unless your son is interupting the class and is being out of this world inappropriate (hurtful, obscene, profane) that lady needs to mind her own business.

Inappropriate laughter is listed as a stim, but from personal experience, I can tell you that you can be laughing very appropriately, say while having fun, and then simply find that it builds and builds until you can't stop it. As I got older, I hated when this would happen because it was disruptive, or I would go so far that I would either vomit or begin to cry. (I also laughed underwater when I first got goggles so often the whole family took CPR. Lots of near-drownings, but all those legs, plus being invisible, was damn funny to my little 9-year-old self.) Now, unless your son is bothered himself, being teased, or having any issues like I mentioned, I would maybe mention it but take a more wait-and-see approach. Mine levelled out considerably with age.

Gilly

I have also heard about this being called "inappropriate laughter" and as a mom I really don't get that!! ! Who am I to say it's inappropriate? Maybe my son is remembering something he thinks is funny. I love when my son laughs!! I agree with githionel and kimj especially about the part that she needs to mind her own business.

I have a couple of things to say about this. Lots of kids in elementary have fits of laughter in the middle of class. I remember doing it in my 5th grade class and not being able to stop either. I can't remember which grade level teachers were talking about it one day that it is very typical of all kids at a certain age.

That being said, my husband laughs at highly inappropriate times- when he talks about his mother's or someone else's illness, at funerals, just times when people who are sad can get really, really, extremely offended. All of his really funny memories involve someone very near death or serious injury. One day we were talking about it because I was reading that it was an aspie trait. On that day (and his answer may change from day to day depending on what he thinks people may want to hear), he said he laughs because he is nervous and doesn't know what to say or do. That kind of makes sense to me, or at least that it makes me feel better that he's not really just a sicko.
I laugh at wierd times, but not that wierd. Mostly I find a lot of things funny that other people might not.

hi laplan,

you said that you have a couple things to say about it but i think that i cant find a point in your statements.

are you saying that laughing is not a stim?

or that its not strange for people, even NTs to stim in this way?

or something along these lines?

calling it nervous laughter is evidence that it is a stim as stims are often performed as a result of anxiety. maybe it is normal to some degree and wouldnt be cause for much ridicule but in some situations what matters it not the action itself but on how excessively its done.

i know that ive had laughing fits which resulted in the teacher asking me to leave the classroom.. i never seen anyone have to leave the classroom because they couldnt stop laughing before.

also ive had laughing fits that would result in children to gather around me to watch me and discuss the various unfunny things that would make me laugh, including dropping an imaginary leaf and picking me up by my throat.. and yes those things made me laugh histerically.

Stim is short for self-stimulation. You're stimming because you're over stimulated or under stimulated. It's a mechanism that shuts off or augments.

Laughter, for the most part, is an emotional reaction. For most people, laughter comes from humor and joy. I laugh when I"m having fun (during sex even). Nervous or fear laughter comes from a negative state. But either way, you can't really control it, unless you're acting.
Some people do find morbid humor funny and will make jokes during stressful or sad times. But that's different from laughing after witnessing an accident or when someone is threatening you or chuckling at a funeral when everyone's quiet. Believe me, if it were able to be controlled, then it would be.
That's what is so tortuous about it.

there are people that control their laughter.

i can control my laughter sometimes.

it seems that when something funny happens (a situation what a person would normally think was funny) people tend to control their laughter and call it not funny if there is some aspect of it that affects them personally in a negative way.

so is that just a form of suppressing emotion?

yeah, either supressing emotion, acting or lying.

Thanks to all who replied...Again, the teachers have been great and have not said anything to us about our kiddo bothering them, etc...It's actually the mother of another HFA who is so concerned...I think she herself has HFA/Aspeger's and is more worried than she should be...

My husband blew her off, I listened but didn't pay much attention and nicely told her thanks and walked off...We'll see what happens next Saturday in class...

And yes, I agree that it's funny how my child has to change because others are rude...I can understand if my kiddo was beating up on other kids, but he's just laughing, singing and enjoying the class much more than the others...

Laughing can be a stim, a release or just plain laughing. If your son and the class was having fun and enjoying themselves them laughter hardly seems out of place. If he's happy let him laugh there's nothing wrong with that. This lady sounds like shes flipping out for no reason. I'd politely explain to her that your son can laugh if he wants to and you are capable of taking care of your own child so she should back off.

I used to laugh at stupid things that weren't even funny, and I laughed at things that made me happy, even if they weren't necessarily humorous. I still laugh if I think of my favorite things.

I agree with most other posters here, and just want to remark that at a certain age, hormonal circumstances can cause or increase laughing fits, as far as I've heard. It's natural, and most children outgrow it. Often it feels uncontrollable, though we can learn to control it through breathing techniques, but unless it happens many times a day or at grossly inappropriate times, it's entirely natural and normal.

Personally, I had a few fits when I was young, but I grew out of them. I still laugh more than I should, because I've substituted most emotional responses with laughter and I tend to laugh at myself a lot... Which I suppose is not really because of Asperger's Syndrome.

My point is, you might want to help your kid with actual stims that cause problems for him, but beyond that, his behaviour is a part of his personality and as long as they don't hurt anyone, who's to say they're negative?