The verdict on 5 y/o is in....

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Unfortunately, our suspicions were correct. I feel relieved at the same time that it saddens me. I was afraid that we were reading into things too much, over-analyzing, projecting, etc, that our boy really was just a normal kid and we were worrying too much. Well, in that way I feel better to know it's not just me and his dad.

Xander had his psych evaluation today, developmental assesment, and autism screening. He is not on the autistic spectrum and his autistic behaviors are most likely related to sensory issues and communication problems. He did test as borderline mentally ret*d. He is 5 years old and his development is about that of a 3 1/2 y/o. He is still very young and the Dr. believes that as school becomes more academic, he will most likely fall into the full retardation category- he's only 2 pts above. She is recommending services through the Regional Center and Occupational therapy to help him integrate his sensory problems. We already knew he would most likely need to repeat Kindergarden, but now that's a concrete plan. She recommended putting him in to a special ed, smaller classroom in 2nd or 3rd grade so he has more one-on-instruction and can learn better.

I am so glad that we went with our gut on this and had him evaluated despite other people telling us he was a perfectly normal kid- including his teacher, who thought his delays were simply due to him being young for his class- turned 5 in Sep.

I thought I was ready for this diagnosis, but I don't think anyone can really be prepared to hear that their child is mentally impaired. The good thing is that we know at such a young age, that we have the support of social workers and government agencies, and financial support through the government to help pay for the services that he will need since he was a "special needs" adoption.

My heart still aches for my little boy though.

hang in there. the initial grief is so very hard to deal with. most people just don't understand. at least you now have a dx. things will look brighter once the initial shock wears off.

Aw, mama, keep your chin up. There are so many wonderful programs available to help kids of all ability levels succeed. I think with a caring mom like you, he will do well. I always say that if you know what you're dealing with, you can deal with anything! Knowing is half the battle. Now that you have his evaluation info and plans to help him, you have a direction to go in.

No one wants to hear their child has a developmental disability of any kind, but like the rest of us, I'm sure you wouldn't trade him for anything in the world either

The important thing is he can get help early instead of struggling for several years at school and becoming totally turned off learning. It's always a good idea to consider holding back kids who are are "young" for their 1st year of school too (unless it's very clear that they can "hold their own" in a class of mostly older children - it becomes very difficult if the child is highly intelligent but socially and emotionally lagging).

Much can be done to help kids who are a little bit slower than average and it's not unknown for them to "catch up" over time. They might never be an "Einstein" but still...

Hang in there Jeny. You have a wonderful child and with your love and support he will amaze you at what he will do. Z and S are not related to me biologically but they grow and develop inspite of my fumbling. S came to us at age 8 and was about 2 yeats behind grade level. This year she is now on level in every class except math. She was placed in advanced math classed and is maintaining a B average. See what wonderfull things love and hard work can do?

Your son has a big advantage......YOU!