third person pronouns only?

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anyone else's kid only refer to themself in the 3rd person....for ex. when James is thirsty instead of saying what he should say, he says what I should say....he should say "I want a drink", but what I get is "You want something to drink?" as a question (up at the end) and this is consistent across the board. He never uses it correctly. If you correct him he will say it right, but I don't think he is learning that it is wrong....he has just memorized what he is supposed to say. Is this the kind of thing to work on at home, or better left to the pros at school?


kate

wow! out of almost 40 people who have viewed this message, my kid is the only one that does this?

kate

I don't remember ever using pronouns wrong verbally, but I know when i narrated my own thoughts/speech in my head I did always refer to myself in third person (and yes I knew that was technically incorrect)

hi, no, I'm sure others haven't seen this thread yet. This is the first I saw it. It's afterschool and dinner time here in the states.

saying "you" is the 2nd person, while he, she, it, is speaking in the 3rd person. Messing up pronouns is very common and speaking in the 3rd person is even more common. Like Elmo says his name instead of using personal pronouns or possessives.

Your son may be repeating a script. Perhaps, he is remembering that you offer him a drink and ask him, ""you want something to drink"? So, to ask for a drink he is simply echoing that. Part of encouraging correct speech is to "talk to yourself" and include him.
"I want a drink, do you want a drink?"
"you do?''
"James gets a drink."

that darn elmo! I never thought of that before, but it's true!

I know that he is echoing me and other people since he is asking it in a questioning tone...I just don't know how to get him to realize he is a "me" instead of a "you" if I correct him by saying "what should YOU say?" then he'll correct it and say "I want a drink" but like I said, I think he has just memorized it. It is strange...if i say "who wants a drink?" he'll say either "you do" or "James"

that and not answering questions seems to be one of his most outwardly noticable (to the average person) symptoms. I would like to start working on it since getting his evaluation completed and getting him in school is looking like it may be a long and winding road...

I will try the talking to myself thing....thanks

Kate

my boy does it too sometimes, i think it's called echolalia and it is an ASD criteria thing. he has stopped doing it so much but he will still ask me the question he wants me to ask him or he wants to answer, and i have tried explaining to him tht he can just come up and tell me what he wants to say. i'll be keeping an eye in this post to see what advice you get, and maybe i can use it too.

Hi Palomino,

my son used to do that but he's stopped now (he's 6). However, if he's pretending to be a superhero like Captain Underpants, (his latest interest), he'll refer to himself in the third person.

I just kept on explaining that when you talk about yourself, you use 'I'. Eventually he got it - not sure if he understood my explanation but something clicked when he was about 4.5 years old.

Temma

thanks-- that is reassuring to hear that your son stopped doing that at some point It is one of the first things people notice is "off" about him....and they makes jokes about that seinfeld episode where elaine dates jimmy, who calls himself jimmy....it is funny, but wearing on my nerves

kate

I suspect people think you mean something else. Like my daughter will say her name in place of "mine", like, "That's R's book! Give that book to R!" instead of, "That's my book! Give that book to me!" which I think is somewhat common for kids, autistic or not, to do.

yes it is hard to explain and a bit odd. He actually for the maost part syas what he would like you to say in question forma and tone...I will give a few examples:

he will say "are you getting sleepy?" to me when he is getting tired,
or "want me to pick you up?" and hold his arms up to me,
or my personal favorite "want me to snuggle you? where's you bunny?" when he wants me to find his bedtime toy and cuddle...

but--the third person part does come in...if he says "are you hungry?" and I say "no, think about it and tell me who is hungry, he says "james is".

so he is 2nd and 3rd person I guess. it kind of goes along with the fact that not a lot of his talking is original material (lots of echoing, repeating tv commercials/movies/shows, songs, things he heard other people say...) Just not sure how to go about fixing it...

thanks for the help everyone!

Kate

My boy (3.6) does this as well - because of the echolalia, it's hard teaching him pronouns. He's been better since I started using a communication book with pecs type symbols with him - as there's a picture for "I" in it.

In my thoughts, I still do that sometimes - referring to myself in 3rd person. Neutral, not female. "Eller is hungry, it wants chocolate". I don't talk like that anymore, of course.

My 5 y/o will sometimes refer to himself by his name, instead of "I" or "me." He also has a huge problem with pronouns such as his, hers, him, her- he'll say things like "She had him hair cut." He can't seem to keep straight the usage or the gender differences in him and her/ he and she. It's interesting. He almost did not qualify for speech therapy because his pronunciation is not that bad, but it's his misusage of pronouns and such that qualified him through the school dist.

My son does this too, a little less now that he is almost 6. He sometimes speaks in the second person, for example, "You can have a cookie" when he wants a cookie. He also had trouble remembering that the pronouns for girls are "she" and "her". He would call everyone "he" and "him".

My son too, referred to himself by his name (in third person) , rather than by I/me , for years. Till around 6 ish. Along with masses of other language stuff.
Unfortunately the speech therapist stopped talking with him about his dinosaur toys, and aliens etc , after second visit and reverted to her set-cards, which my son wasn't interested in, so he stopped talking and she said it was a waste of time, she couldn't assess him or anything she said cos he wouldn't talk ! !! !!
So we stopped. He's learned the "I/me" thing, but there's masses of other stuff tho' it's getting better slowly.
We've pretty much given up professional help, cos at the school we tried for 3 weeks they couldn't even remember that he was coeliac, and offered him bread in the morning snack period and the french tendency is still psychanalysis.
I've been frequently accused of fusional behaviour with son. Ha!! If anything I would have LOVED to offload child at school, with my own ASD problems!!