single parenting AS child, how do you deal with the stress?

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calling all the other single parents out there,
how do you deal with the additional stresses of the intricate workings of your AS child.
i am a single mom, (4yr dx AS, 2 yr strong willed two year old)as a result of divorce, kid's dad is in another province working for now, has been in and out a bit for the last few years work related.
i am just finding it so incredibly stressful right now, in some ways after he was dx (September)i felt relieved because then it wasn't something i was doing wrong that wasn't getting through to him. not that we don't have communication issues but that it wasn't all on my end, or the divorce screwing him up.
i went back to work part time this year to try and cover some of my increasing debt load, he started pre school.
they come to work with me (after school program) which causes some of it's own stresses some days.
how do you do it work, school, kids, house work (failing miserably at this one )? i find because my stress level is up my patience is down and i lose it more often which isn't good for any of us.
i love my kiddos and wish that i knew what i was doing because i just feel so lost right now, even though i've been doing this for a few years now i still can't seem to find a way to get it all together, add going back to work, part time but every day, i am just overwhelmed
tips and tricks of the trade would be really appreciated.
thanks
-k

Are you AS or just your child or did I misunderstand and you have more than one child?
I am AS and was a single parent with a NT child, and I think single parenting is one of the toughest things I've ever done or will do...
Because she was just a regular child and very intelligent, it was a lot easier when she was old enough to walk to my job after school, then I'd leave work, walk her home, get her settled and go back to work, but I planned it all this way, and chose a small town to raise her in, and for awhile was able to swing this...then I lost that job and ended up having to get a drivers license-I was 34 I think-and it took forever to accomplish that-I could pass the written test but not the driving part---it took something like 7 tries, but eventually I learned to drive and not show intense fear behind the wheel or in front of the person testing me...now I love to drive--mainly, you need a support system and friends to help, and maybe even hired help and this gets tough, hired child care help is expensive. We had our utilities shut off on more than one occasion. At least find a support group. She also had an after school program I enrolled her in, so that she wouldn't be alone because I had to work so much...do you belong to a church? There might be help there too, try to find resources that assist single parents. Research all of your options for assistance, it's really tough to do this alone, take advantage of any help you can find...wish I had more options for you, best of luck, you can do it! You have to remember you need to give yourself a break sometimes and get away from the job and the child though, because otherwise you will exhaust your own inner child, if you know what I mean...you have to rest your soul occaionally. Does any of this make any sense?

not single here, but would suggest that you try to find a way to get out of the houe and destress....do you have a neighbor who would watch your kid?

Wabbits: and anyone else that may get lost in my post,
i am NT my son is AS my daughter is NT but two and strong willed.
they don't call them the terrible twos for nothing.

Hi!
I just wrote a very long post but it doesnt seam to have made it here. lol.
I am a NT single mum of two boys one NT? 18 in Jan and J who is being evaluated right now just turned 9.
My best advice is routine and lots of it. We have quiet time, about an hour before my youngest goes to bed, this gives him time to finish off what he was doing, pack up and wind down. This gives me an hour to try and get him to bed. Its the same time every night. And my kids are told ok boys its quiet time now! Sounds silly to some but it works, everone knows whats expected. I am also fairly strict and follow thru on punishments ( particuly with the oldest) my kids were never smacked though. I have great kids, very respectful and usually always ask.
I also go to bed earlier than all my friends, just so I can get up earlier and have some peace to plan my day.
You also need to find a friend or relative to watch your kids for a little while every now and then so that you can do something for yourself, if you cant do this another thing that helps is grab a friend or relative, grab a coffee, go to the park let your kids play and have an adult conversation. Your housework will be there when you get home, it can wait an hour.
One more tip, when your cooking a meal that can be frozen, double up for those days when you cant be bothered. Its also a little cheaper cooking in bulk.
Ah nearly forgot, find someone or come here to off load your stresses it helps.
Good luck, your not alone.