I think I need to start shopping for a new school.

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Some of you may recall previous posts of mine where I have had problems with my sons school.
Yesterday was very emotional for me, it was the day after J's dx had been made offical. I was a little late dropping J off at school yesterday ( he is extremely tired at the moment) I ran into his vice principle, I wasnt going to say anything to her about J's dx but then changed my mind. I thought it was the right thing to do to give her a heads up, before she got the call from his evaluation team asking her to please give me J's new class schedule before the last day of the year ( which is what they normally do)
I was invited into her office and then she said "so what can I do for you now" So things stated on a wonderful note hmmmm.
I told her that J's diagnoses had come in, she gave me a funny look. I then said you remember he was getting evaluated for an asd, she lied and said "no" She said she had no idea, I have had conversations with her. Obviously this was so unimportant to her she dismissed those conversations as soon as we'd had them. I went on to tell her what the dx was ie J has aspergers and a visual memory problem. She said nothing. It was very aqward (cant spell sorry) I then told her that someone from the evaluation team would be calling to give her a heads up so that the school could take this into consideration when planning for his grade 3 class. She quiet aggressively stated " well they wont be getting a meeting now, there is no time!" I said we know that, they just wanted to let you know and maybe see if I could find out what class J would be in for next year. "She said J will be given his class for next year the last day of school like everyone else as usual, What has changed!! !? He has coped with this every other year??" You dont want to know what was going thru my head right then. I told her no he doesn't cope, she doesnt see the tears, the hair twirling the sucking on his arm, the pacing in circles, I get all this as soon as he gets in the car. That shut her up for a minute. She then said when she gets the information she will tell me, ( I wont hold my breath) She told me to tell him he will probably have one of a list of 3 teachers, just tell them who they are. ( she has no idea.) She then said " I have had aspergers kids here in the past and he is at the very high end they weren't as high functioning as him!". I thought you cow (oops sorry) J is so high functioning in her eyes because in my opnion,he isn't hitting anyone or making life difficult for her or his teachers the fight or flight theory J goes into flight he withdraws becomes very quiet is as complacent as possible and yes he is intelligent. He has learnt not to trust any of the teachers if something is bothering him, because in the past it has been turned back on him. He keeps it all in till he gets home. his evaluation team havent known him as long and are worried about his level of anxiety, they are also concerned about the visual memory problems, because as you all know the best way to help as is with visual cues.
I rang an autism outreach worker when I got home and she isnt allowed to say pull him out, but she did say follow my gut, and it wouldn't hurt to look at other schools. So I guess thats what I will be doing. My biggest fear is the change for J is going to be extremely stressful. I need to look around and weigh up the pro's and cons. I also get the feeling that it's up to J's school if they want to apply for funding for an aide, which is what his doc's are recommending. I will be seeing his evaluation team in mid Jan.

i'm so sorry that you're going through this....how terribly frustrating !...........i'd definitely be shopping for a new school

Hello,

The Vice Principal does sound like a cow!! !

I'm not sure of the Victorian Education system. In Queensland, schools are given a large chunk of extra funding for a child with AS. Legally schools are required to have written IEP's that are formulated by the parent, classroom teacher and special ed teacher.

I was very angry with our school at the beginning of the year when our first son was diagnosed. Then I was very angry with them when our second son was diagnosed (long story). I seriously considered changing schools.

However, after finding out what my children were entitled to, a visit from my sons' psychologist, and numerous meetings, the school is fantastic. I am extremely happy with the school now. They have actually made changes to procedures within the school based on our family's experience.

I'm glad we didn't change schools now. However, I realise in some situations, changings schools may be necessary.

Before you change schools, I would try to negotiate with your school more.

The Vice Principal does sound like a cow. I would e-mail the Principal of the school and tell him/her what has happened. State the facts. Keep emotion out of it. Then tell them what you want to happen: an opportunity to meet and discuss classroom placement for your child, and an appointment for an IEP early in the new school term.

I sent numerous e-mails for weeks. I knew I wasn't capable of meeting in person because I was so emotional and weepy. I used to get a friend help me write the e-mails. I would write what I wanted to say, and she would tell me which bits to remove (overly emotional).

Also, do some research into your state's education system. Are there other parents with children with AS that you know of? They could tell you how the system works.

The Vice Prinicpal may be awful, but there may be a great Special Ed teacher and great classroom teachers at your school. You don't want to change schools for just one person.

PM if you want. I have been through what you're going through!

Good luck!
Helen

This may be an attempt to minimize his issues so she can do nothing. I've seen bosses do that so they can browbeat employees with bipolar disorder, epilepsy or other problems.

Yes, I agree. I'm hearing the same thing "mild" has been repeated too many times.

I, too, am in the same boat and am seeking a new placement. Spec. ed teacher too impatient and not enough aides! I want a 1:1 aide for my son who is trained/knowledgeable about ASD's.

Sometimes, change is good. A fresh start isn't so bad.

As my son put it so insightfully "I want to go somewhere new where they don't know me." Sad but true--a new place might just be the answer. We'll never know if we stay put.

A rolling stone gathers no moss. (is that it?)

equinn

Hi all! Thanks so much for all the words of wisdom.
I spoke to two of the members of my sons evaluation team this morning, one of the team members then rang the vice principle and apparently fingers crossed got better results.
We have the promise of a meeting with school and evaluation team early in the new year.
It was suggested by the docs that we give this school one school term to get their act together if it still isn't working I have been assured that J's evaluation team will help me place J in the best possible place with the smoothest transition they can.
So for now I have been consoled.
During that term I will look around and see what my options are if I need to.