New Member - Parent of Teenager Not Formally Diagnosed

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Hello. I'm the parent of a 15 year old who was diagnosed AD(H)D at the age of 5, but I'm convinced he's an Aspie due to his behaviors his entire life and the high degree of co-morbidity. Today, I finally had a meeting with the school district's psychology department and all the teachers about having my son tested. It's been a huge fight since the teachers seem to think the unusual behaviors are being done willfully and defiantly. Every teacher thinks there must not be a problem because my son is very intelligent and is not a discipline issue. They assume he must just be lazy or unmotivated. This is very frustrating. The testing will be done when the kids return from break in January.

High school has been a huge struggle so far with getting assignments completed. I have considered home schooling, but my son loves going to school for the social aspect of it. He has very few friends, but tries really hard to be social and fit in. Unfortunately, I think he tries too hard and it backfires on him. Even his friends say he just doesn't know when to stop.

What types of accomodations can I ask for that would help him succeed in high school?

Does your school district have any programs for kids with autistic and asperger needs? My nephew is 20 years old now and has
received school assistance since the age of three. He had a school "monitor who went to his classes and helped him with any
adjustment or social issues. His parents even kept him in high school for five years rather than the traditional four years here in
the USA...no sense in rushing through life. All special programs require a specific diagnosis of Autism or Asperger's Syndrome...
and too many programs end at age 21. It is important to get the assistance he needs before he ages out of the system...and then, family resources become his only way to survive in this world.

Currently, my nephew attends a community college parttime and works at a local grocery store assisting customers in a special program for autistic/asperger kids called, "Helping Hands" through the Wegman's Food Stores. However, most of his support falls
on his family as he approaches age 21.

Is your child on a formal IEP?

I finally was able to convene a meeting to have testing scheduled. That meeting was today. Testing will occur when the kids get back from winter break in January, so no IEP or 504 as of yet.

kpow, I too am just beginning to go this route with my daughter. She was suspended multiple times last year and now this year (at 14) she is having issues again.

It was suggested to me that we get her screened by the school therapists so I have an appointment with Kaiser (in like 6 months). We are trying to get on the cancelled list so we can maybe snag a spot sooner.

This isn't anything I ever anticipated. The spaceiness and the social issues I thought were just the way she was. I'm interested to see what the ASD Clinic at Kaiser has to say.

Good luck with your IEP quest. We have an IEP for my daughter but it was set up as "emotionally disturbed" because we couldn't classify her any other way and not get into the special day class she is in at her high school.

That could also very well be true. I know it was for me when I was in High School. My parents jumped the gun and tried to get me help instead of punishment. When I look back, I think punishment would have been the more appropriate solution. I was lazy, unmotivated, angry, filled with self-pity, etc. But that doesn't justify blowing off school.

After three years of nothing but punishment, to no avail, I think it's time to look deeper.

Hello and welcome to WP!

Click on the link below: it has heaps of information from a seminar with Tony Attwood (Aspie guru).

Regards
Helen

If you do not like the results of the evaluation, you have the right to reject their findings and request a private evaluation. The school will have to pay for that second opinion. Do not sign off on their testing results if you are not in 100% agreement.

I did that with my son. I wanted a firm diagnosis so he can use that label to get into autism/aspergers college program later on, if he needs that kind of program to make it through college one day.

Without a label, they just expect your kid to shake off his problems.

kpow67,

I'm a 45 yr old AS, and your son sounds like a dead ringer of me when I was his age. Back then, no one would imagine there was anything wrong with me other than being lazy and defiant. In public schools there were really no special accommodations unless a child was "ret*d."

Let me guess, your son seems eager to begin a project or assignment, but then just seems to "spin his wheels" and not complete it? I think this partly may because I do not believe an AS can look at classes and assignments like regular people, as required tasks to be completed even though they may not be always interesting or stimulating. Much of life involves completing various steps to achieve long-term goals, but strange as it seems, that concept was very hard for me to grasp at that age. If it wasn't fun and stimulating, I wasn't motivated to do it. Hence I was lazy, even though I wasn't lazy at all when pursuing my own interests.

I hope you do find helpful accommodations for your son though I can't say for sure, even with hindsight, what those might be. In my case, I eventually figured out how to succeed in school and graduated college and then got a professional degree. As smart as some of us AS people seem to be, we learn very slow when it comes to social rules and conventions, though we do learn.

Cheers & good luck, JR

Thank you, everyone! I just read everyone's responses to my post and am grateful for all of you who share your experiences.
Helen's referenced post/thread, as well and the descriptions in the initial post about the Attwood seminar, left me with my mouth wide open. It's like my son was the subject of the conference. LOL

Right now, there are only 3 half-days of school left until Christmas break and I'm looking forward to it. This Executive Secretary needs a break!
I'll let you know how the testing goes.

I can't tell you how glad I am to have found this forum. Thank you all!