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julien_littleone
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25 Dec 2007, 5:08 pm

I was just wondering if parents or others here felt that non autistic people make too much of a big deal about the differences of people with autism and other differences, do you see these people as being selfish or namby-pamby for over-reacting to things?

I grew up in a family where it was fine to be as "crazy" as you wanted as long as you didn't cause too much trouble and didn't get caught doing anything illegal. Basically everyone ran wild, but all turned out great,socially acceptable, and my grandparents never batted an eye hardly at any thing. Now my mom seeing how others react to small disturbances from their children feels that some people over react too much, children should be guided but let to be how they are. Nothing really seemed too big of a deal for her.

Do you feel that people make too much of a big deal about how different your child might act compared to others?



ster
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25 Dec 2007, 8:42 pm

i think alot of parents are pressured by society into having the "perfect child"....We're led to believe that if our child does not behave appropriately, it is our fault as parents. I think when you buy into those societal expectations, you are more likely to be one of those parents who is overly concerned with appearances. Sometimes it is hard to deal with others' opinions of you and your parenting style. Although I know that our son's behaviors are not our fault, it is still tiresome to deal with others who do not understand nor accept Aspergers as a dx for my son.



Smelena
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25 Dec 2007, 11:58 pm

I've been lectured numerous times in public by strangers regarding my sons's behaviour (I have 3 sons, 2 with Asperger's). I just ignore them.

There is a higher rate of depression in mothers of children with Asperger's than the general population.

The psychologist I saw for my depression stated the reasons include that the mothers often feel judged, alone and that they're not good enough.

That's why I love WP! I can tell people of my sons' antics and know other parents get me and are not judging me.

Helen



Mommamo
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27 Dec 2007, 3:16 am

Julien, your grandparents and mom sound like very accepting people. I think that many people these days may actually be like that, but I tend to just see the ones that are staring and shaking their heads. I need to remember that there are accepting people out there. Every now and then we run into them, and they're frequently the last people you would expect.



kpow67
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27 Dec 2007, 12:16 pm

I'm right there with the moms depression and being judged thing. What kills me are the people (read: family members) who go back and forth. They are either complaining about the child's behavior or saying you are too hard on them for their behavior. Never in a million years would I give someone my opinion about their child's behavior or the way I "perceive" the parents to be raising them. Why do some people think it's fine??

Right now, my son is spending this holiday week with family on the other side of the country. I'm sure I'll get the phone calls and complaints about his "odd behavior," or "why can't he just do 'whatever'." Yes, you will need to "remind" him to go brush his teeth and shower every day. Yes, he'll do his own thing and won't even notice you all week, regardless of whether or not you think it's rude - get over it.
My son is 15, so this has been going on for years.