Okay, so I'm not a parent

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but I do sometimes find it nice to hear from someone else that is willing to talk about their beliefs and their experiences that are unique.

I find that it helps me to put myself in someone else's shoes.

so I was wondering, what is it that you find unique or frustrating raising an AS child?

Okay, I ask questions like these because, being AS, I have found that learning about other people helps me to understand them, who they are, and, in this case, helps me to understand myself and recognize what makes me so unique.

I was also wondering if there is something you love about raising an AS kid? And are you AS yourself? How do you deal with it?

And what have you found that helps your kid deal with it?

ok, I'm fairly new, so I hope this doesn't come off wierd or upsetting.

Not at all, I think it's a wonderful question!

Frustrating - I think the toughest thing for me is having to re-state things many, many, many different ways before I'll find a way of phrasing it, or a particular logical argument, that my son will accept. I have had a really tough time helping him to understand why wiping after going #2 is important. (He's 6.) I don't know how many arguments (calmly stated, of course) I have given him, how many logical reasons for wiping. He just refuses to hear it. In many cases where he'll argue illogically about things (i.e., blaming other people for things he himself has clearly done) it's because he either can't do the thing easily (wiping) or, in the case of blaming others... I haven't figured that one out yet entirely

Something I love - He is SO creative! He has perspectives on things that belie his mere 6 years. And quick-witted; he absolutely cracks me up, a lot. Like the other day, one of his pieces of homework was a word search. He HATES word searches So, one of the words he had to find was "fun". He found the word, it was right on the edge of the puzzle; but before circling it, he put the letters "N" "O" right before it.

HAHAHA, I was cracking up so much, I had trouble correcting it so the teachers wouldn't call it "wrong". Hehe

hahahaha I hated word searches too.

I had to have them explained to me. I remember finding the word "Alf" and circling it, thinking I was supposed to one time. Remember that show?

The teacher had to explain that the only words I was supposed to cirle were the ones I was supposed to look for.

And that blaiming thing could come from an inability to accept guilt. Not that it necessarily is, but all I can say is...
























been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

what i find the most frustrating about AS and how it's affected our family ( both son & hubby have it, & daughter is suspicious)~
thinking that i've explained something concretely, only to realize that they still don't understand....lots of misunderstandings. i really do miss talking in metaphors. i've had to change alot about myself in order to coexist peacefully in this household...............i also feel badly for the many social situations that they just don't understand....lastly, i am frustrated at having to keep the house quiet. 2 of my aspies crave peace and quiet. my daughter is a non-stop talker, and my NT son and I would just like to let loose sometimes without having to be careful about who's in the house.

what i find the most wonderful about AS and how it's affected our family~ they have such wonderful sense's of humor....really dry & sarcastic~actually, most of the time they don't think they're funny, but i find their statements refreshingly truthful.

You are in no way weird OR upsetting! I think we as AS parents like to talk about our kids - AS is very frustrating for a parent and it helps to be able to vent, rant, or rave, to someone who is going through the same thing - so thank you for asking us questions!
(I'm not AS - but I'm sure she feeds off bits of my personality)
frustrating: trying to figure out what the problem is/was when E get's frustrated. also, trying to get others to see beyond some of her quirks and to take it slow when giving direction, asking questions, having basic conversation w/ her.
and, dealing with anxiety - mostly about death and getting her to chill out.

What I love about raising an AS kid - I love raising a child who marches to her own beat.

Limiting the amount of words I use, being more direct, and having rules have helped her. Chores around the house, gardening, and having animals have taught her responsibility - gives her a sense of pride which helps her self-esteem.

The frustrating things are when my poor wife (the family's only non-aspie not counting the dog ) doesn't understand things. The kids do something that she finds weird/wrong and I say - uh... that's normal. I've since learned to say - that's an aspie thing but before diagnosis, it was difficult.

To best bits - all of those communications breakdowns result in some pretty funny actions and responses.

I'm NT and my son is HFA. The most frustrating thing for me is that he really likes people, but peers do not like him back because of his lack of social skills. Sometimes, I wish he didn't like people so much so he would not feel rejection. Other times, I admire his caring heart and I hope he doesn't lose that hopeful attitude towards other people.

I think my relationship is closer to him because he's on the spectrum. His value system is different, so instead of being embarrassed by being seen out in public with his mom, he is actually proud to be seen with me. He could care less if other kids think he's weird for that.

Yeah, the sound sensitivity is irksome. In case it might help, I wanted to say that I deal with that by keeping music that I like on. I can't really filter out background noise, but I've found it helps for me to play the music I have stored on my computer cause that blocks the noise for me.

And I love people with a sense of humor, too. I had to learn how to develop one a little bit. As Bill Engvall (the comedian) once said "you gotta laugh, folks". In doing that, I learned how to laugh at myself.

I know this may sound a little strange (I am an AS) but I take pride in marching to my own beat, so I like to here that you take pride in your daughter the same way. I find it SURPRISING how many people out there shun me on account of being different.

And trying to get people to see beyond my quirks is frustrating for me as well, so I can sympathize with you there. There have been many times when the fight wasn't worth fighting, and many others when it has (not to sound defensive, but sometimes I wonder if my getting to know people and them getting to know me helps other AS people that the same person comes across, since usually once people get to know me they get over their initial fright and I try pretty hard to talk to anyone about it when I feel it is appropriate).

And wow!! You must be a patient parent dealing with your child's frustrations and anxieties. I've honestly had to do that myself. I've found that having a seperate place to go to helps, as does something called movie therapy (which is where you sit down and watch a movie that you enjoy, preferably a comedy, and pay attention to things like how the characters act strange).

But you keep fighting the good fight.

Oh, I could tell stories about myself that would make you laugh your butt off.

And explaining the "wierd" stuff... I'll just say that my family won't read anything I give them and I have to explain EVERYTHING, or so it seems, sometimes.

And thank you for your input.

Good for you, it sounds like a perfect match. I'm sorry you tend to go through all the rejection, though .

I can identify with loving people on account of being the same way. Yes, rejection is hard and doesn't get easier when you keep getting alienated . What's worse is when you are such an emotional person that you can basically feel the feelings of those around you.

Usually, I think that last thing is pretty cool, cause it helps me identify with people and appreciate them, but it is sad when they eventually turn on you.

To deal with that, I eventually realized that they are their own person, and I can't control their reactions. If they don't like me, or they don't like something about me, I cannot control their reactions, so I eventually learned not to really care what other people thought of me. All I can do is be the best person I can be.

But I'm glad you have a good relationship with him.

That's so true! I hope my son come to that conclusion too.

I do wish so, too. I think it would help him get to a point where he could be comfortable being himself.